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Help Please

Old 09-12-2008, 03:59 PM
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Unhappy Help Please

I am new to this website and I am a girlfriend to an addict/alcoholic...He is in rehab as of Monday for the next 6 months. I was just wondering if anyone that has been or still is in my shoes has advice for me to stay strong. Dont get me wrong Im so happy he has decided to get the help he needs but my heart is empty and the 21 day blackout period they have feels like it could take forever. I guess Im just looking for some1 to share this with because to keep it all inside is definatly not a good idea. If I am in the wrong place please let me know...

~THANKS~
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Old 09-12-2008, 04:01 PM
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Hi there! There are some great forums on here for friends and family of addicts and alcoholics. Here's one:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/

There's also another one for addicts.

So glad to see you on the forum! You'll find a lot of people who understand exactly what you're going through on there.
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Old 09-12-2008, 04:14 PM
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As one who's been on both sides of the street, so to speak...a recovering alcoholic mother of a recovering addict son...there's a reason for the 21 day blackout period. Right now, he needs to concentrate on his recovery, and only his recovery...being in touch with you would be too much of a distraction.

He'll be kept very busy during this time...so, it would be a good time for you to do the same for yourself. You might want to check out some Al-Anon and/or Nar-Anon meetings...for your own benefit, but also to let him know you're being totally supportive of his decision to take this big step.

Be prepared, also, that you may very well be required to attend "family orientation" sessions, if you're able to visit him in person. The very best of luck and good wishes to both of you.
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Old 09-12-2008, 04:51 PM
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Thank you both so much for both of your replies. I just found out that I may get to see him on Sat. for a family day. HE called his mom and told her to bring me and my kids. I looked into Al-Anon and unfortunatly there are no meetings near me and I do not drive. We do have to go to a family orientation the first week of October so I am looking foward to that. Im trying to stay strong for him and for myself and my kids also. I have a daughter who is 7 and a son who is 5 and my boyfriend has been my best friend for 18 years and he has been a father to my children for the last 5 which i guess makes this hard for me because the kids are young and dont understand. I guess I just tried to come on here for some support when I need it when the days dont seem to move fast enough or when missing him seems like more than I can bare.
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Old 09-13-2008, 07:01 AM
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Not having a good day today...even though this site is more for the people that are living a sober life i have found it brings me hope...and the inspirtation that all that are here bring is amazing...so i hope its not a big deal that i post here...today is day 6 of his journey...Im supposed to see him tomorrow but Im not getting my hopes up due to the blackout period...some days im ok...and some days i wake with a heavy heart...I know this is about him right now...and I know this will be about him for the rest of our lives but while he is not here and while its just me this is about me and strengthening myself to be able to stick with him through his journey...So everyone in here keep being the inspiration you are!!!
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Old 09-13-2008, 07:06 AM
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LuvsHIM you are more then welcome here and don't feel you aren't. Sorry you are going through this rough patch, but very glad your boyfriend is tending to his disease. You can post here and/or on the family of alcoholic forum. You are so very welcome either place.

:ghug3
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Old 09-13-2008, 07:18 AM
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Thx so much horse...its so new to me...we only dropped him off at his 6 month program a few days ago...and i guess in time for me it will get easier but i dont know...we have been best friends for 18 years...we have only been dating for 5...the drinking was always around but there was a lil time within the last 5 years he found some1 else that introduced him to crack..and thats where it all went downhill...stealing...lying...he was never nasty to me...and he was a better father to my children than their real father ever could be...but the stealing is what made him realize that he needed help...he was doing things he claims he didnt remember...this whole process scares me to death because there are going to be things that I need to do...and Im scared of doing something wrong...I love him to death and want out future to be great...I just dont have the support of everyone I need n therefore i have no one to talk to
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Old 09-13-2008, 07:29 AM
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Well you have the people here at SR and I would encourage you to use it. Take care of yourself. Your boyfriend is seeing he gets the care he needs and you need to do the same. Its hard to see our loved ones go through this, but very encouraging when they are taking the steps to fight it. He wants to end it and that's great!
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Old 09-13-2008, 01:17 PM
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LuvsHim - It's scary because things are going to change. I think being seperated for awhile could be a really good positive thing for both of you but I know how scared you must be feeling. You're both going to find seperate strength in this recovery process. Be as hopeful as possible about a brighter, healther, happier future together. Sending you good *vibes* and peace of mind about this.

Kathleen

Last edited by bostonluv; 09-13-2008 at 01:17 PM. Reason: got the screen name wrong
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