Eclipse

I am seeing a counselor today for the first time ever. I have picked up the phone about 5 times over the last week to cancel-but didn't. I am not sure what will happen. I am afraid I will just go in and start crying. I am so nervous that I am sick to my stomach. I know this is what I need to really get the "ball" rolling, cuz I have backed why off on the drinking lately, but haven't stopped. Maybe being accountable to someone else will help? I have spoken to my husband about my drinking and he knows I need to do something, but I haven't even told him about the appointment because it makes me feel like such a failure to have to even do this.

Rella927

Eclips it took me 9 years to walk through the door of the counselor and after I walked in I had wished I went 9 years prior when I thought about doing it!

Go in cry, scream, swear that is why we go to get better and letting it out is the only way we get better-My counselor was my "Safe place" I knew I could confide in my counselor with anything and I mean anything that I did not feel I could tell anyone else in my life-and I would not be judged but only guided-to make the choices and decisions that I needed to do for ME! Do not tell your hubby if you are not ready to do so....you can keep this your safe place until you feel you can ...you are not a failure-you are human!

Sending you strength and a huge Breathe....and walk in the door!

adore79

Rather than a failure, I look at you as a winner for taking this step to better your life.

I understand the nervousness about going for the first time, but try not to worry too much, if you just cry, thats cool, most counsellors always have a tissue box in reach at all times. The first couple sessions are usually counselor/client getting to know one another and become comfortable with each other. You dont have to bring up or talk about anything you dont want to talk about, you can take your time. Remember that s/he is there to help you, it is your time while you are at the session and you wont be judged.

If you find that you dont really "click" with him/her, or you dont feel comfortable, then find someone else, shop around for a therapist you can work with. Eventually you might start looking forward to your sessions and really enjoy them and I hope you do.

Astro

Hey Eclipse,

When I had my first month sober I checked into a mental hospital for the weekend, I thought I was nuttier than a fruitcake but they informed me I was just an alcoholic in need of counseling and AA. That was one of the many good things I did in early recovery. I was released and sent to counseling as part of my outpatient agreement.

After a few sessions with a counselor he advised me to quit handing him my money and to attend meetings instead. Again, this was a great experience and useful to me in recovery.

I don't regret doing either of those things. As far as I'm concerned, the more help and support you can take advantage of the better. Can't hurt to try, right? Who knows, maybe it's exactly what you need to get you started on a solid program of recovery.

Best wishes, let us know how it goes!

SelfSeeking

About a year and a half ago I went into real counseling for the first time in my life... had a crisis event but had a lot of crap going on. The first three sessions I basically sat there and cried. It was the only place I felt safe letting those feelings out so let me tell you I did! After those sessions we were able to do more talking. Counselors are used to people letting out strong emotions- it's their job! Go and do whatever you need to do... This is not you being weak, this is you being brave.

KarenOskie

Going to a counselor is not a failure. It's great progress. It shows you're willing to do what it takes to move forward. Hooray for you!

least

I make a list of what I want to talk about with my counselors (one for mental health, one for substance abuse). It helps me so much to have a safe place to vent feelings and present problems. There is nothing of failure in counseling. It's a smart move and will help you!

:ghug3

Jersey Nonny

Ain't that the truth!!!

I was two years sober and going to lots of AA meetings. One morning, I woke up and didn't want to get out of bed...so depressed, I didn't want to do anything, not even drink!!!

I called the Alcoholic Treatment Unit of the hospital where I detoxed, and went in to see the doctor...was prescribed a "non-addictive" anti-depressant (I refused to take anything unless they assured me it was OK)...and, they set up an appointment with an alcoholism counsellor. She was a member of Al-Anon...an adult child of an alcoholic...and I saw her for about six months...actually did my fourth and fifth steps with her. Even after I quit seeing her officially, I called her a couple of times when I was going through rough patches in my sobriety. I considered her more a friend than a counsellor.

I sincerely hope you have as wonderful an experience in counselling as I did. Best of luck.

Eclipse

Thanks for the support! I just got back. I had a bit of a panic attack in there and she had to talk me out of it. But she was very nice and it was so great to let it all out. I didn't know if I could but I told her how much I drink and that I black out and she didn't even blink. I think I had so much anxiety that once I was done I am totally exhausted. She wants me to go every week for awhile, so I am actually looking forward to next week. Whew!

nogard

well done Eclipse, what a great example of how to look after ourselves, such courage.

Jersey Nonny

Good for you! You're on the right path...I'm so glad you seem to have made a positive connection with her...that is so important.

Lenina

Good for you! For me, counseling helped a lot. Believe me, they have heard it all! Nothing you say can shock them! And once it gets all out there you'll feel better and be able to sort things out for yourself.

I'm so happy for you and so glad you are taking positive action to get better!

Love,

Lenina

SelfSeeking