I just want to escape
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Hi Kev - I'm late in reading this too. I wish I had some wisdom to share. I have a similar problem - just when I think all's right with the world, something will happen to knock me back down. We shouldn't let people do this to us, but how can we help it? You're such a well-meaning and loving father, it makes no sense that you should be treated unfairly. I know you'll sort it all out, but in the meantime it hurts, and I'm sharing that hurt with you. Love, Joanie
everything is already ok
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Originally Posted by Astro 
Hey Kevin, I'm late on reading this thread and not much more I can add. Big hugs and prayers going out for a fellow in recovery, you've always been an inspiration to me.
Like others have said, being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Most of the time it's pretty thankless, I have to look really hard to see the rewards for all the effort that goes into it. And yep, I know how it feels to be the bad guy. I approach the future with fear sometimes, my kids are still pretty young and haven't even hit the most difficult years yet.
Now you know damn well a drink won't solve anything, right? Keep searching for that place of peace and serenity, your HP is holding the door open for you.
Like others have said, being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Most of the time it's pretty thankless, I have to look really hard to see the rewards for all the effort that goes into it. And yep, I know how it feels to be the bad guy. I approach the future with fear sometimes, my kids are still pretty young and haven't even hit the most difficult years yet.
Now you know damn well a drink won't solve anything, right? Keep searching for that place of peace and serenity, your HP is holding the door open for you.
Thanks Astro, not hanging out for a drink, but the madness and the internal dialogue keep returning.
Kevin
That's just kinda weird to me how roles switch.everything is already ok
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Hi Tanya, yep ok so far half way through the working day on Wed. Not sure wether to see a movie or go to a meeting tonight. Didn't do too well last night or this morning but I am still clean and am learning over again what is good to do while I am struggling.
Thanks for thinking of me and I am thinking of you as well.
Love Kevin
Thanks for thinking of me and I am thinking of you as well.
Love Kevin
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Hey Kev,
I've thought of you today too.I'm glad you're still hanging in there too.I know it's hard.
Maybe a meeting is the better option tonight-even if you don't feel like it?I know I've gotten comfort from going sometimes even if I didn't really want to go initially.
I just know that the more I share, the less alone I feel and it just helps somehow to be reminded I'm not struggling alone. Sometimes it eases things a bit.
Jules xox
I've thought of you today too.I'm glad you're still hanging in there too.I know it's hard.
Maybe a meeting is the better option tonight-even if you don't feel like it?I know I've gotten comfort from going sometimes even if I didn't really want to go initially.I just know that the more I share, the less alone I feel and it just helps somehow to be reminded I'm not struggling alone. Sometimes it eases things a bit.
Jules xox
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,469
Originally Posted by nogard
Hi Tanya, yep ok so far half way through the working day on Wed. Not sure wether to see a movie or go to a meeting tonight. Didn't do too well last night or this morning but I am still clean and am learning over again what is good to do while I am struggling.
Thanks for thinking of me and I am thinking of you as well.
Love Kevin
Thanks for thinking of me and I am thinking of you as well.
Love Kevin
Love,
Tan
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Originally Posted by nogard
Not so good this morning, just want all this to stop stop stop
It doesn't help to go back out....I know from a lot of experience from the past 6 years, that nothing changes, the people might not be the same, but the playa is ....
Just try to keep focused right now on what you know you need to do....
Parenting is very hard. And even though my road has been rocky to say the least, my kids still love me. They might not approve of my road that I have lead but they continue to try and tell there Dad that they love me...LMAO even when I don't believe them LOL
Keep strong Kevin, you are a guiding light for many of us here, and there, and everywhere..
Love ya brother.:ghug3
everything is already ok
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Thanks Vic and its godo to see you here. I have re-committed myself to my recovery and am starting at the beginning as thats where I need to be.
Thanks again and I how is your health Vic? Give us an update.
Kevin
Thanks again and I how is your health Vic? Give us an update.
Kevin
everything is already ok
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Originally Posted by tanyapmc
How about a meeting THEN a movie?? Sounds like a good compromise to me!
Love,
Tan
Love,
Tan
Kevin
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
Hi Kevin,
Rejection
Pain
Wanting to run away...those are the three things that struck me about your postings. I too have been rejected by a family member (though not a daughter, that would be worse), and everytime I think about it, I become so angry, and I too just want to run away to the ocean and never talk to anyone again...the anger and sadness is overwhelming. When this happens, I try to remind myself that we cannot control others, and if left alone, sooner or later they will come back around, when they are ready. And I pray, every night, before I go to bed for God to please lift the anger from my heart and I pray for the person who is causing me grief. Then I also divert myself...I get out and interact with other people or go see a movie or a concert, the more I get out of the house and immerse myself in activities I enjoy, the less overwhelmed I feel by my emotions. I notice it's worse when I am tired.
Of course, I know that it is easier to do those things when it's not your own daughter who is doing it. I do feel your pain. When I was younger I would at times reject my father because of certain behaviors that I could not deal with, but as I got older he mellowed out, I mellowed out, and we became a lot closer. It takes time, but if you can be patient, and hang in there for a while, it is well worth it.
I hope these feelings pass for you. I think they will. Please take care of yourself.
FD
Rejection
Pain
Wanting to run away...those are the three things that struck me about your postings. I too have been rejected by a family member (though not a daughter, that would be worse), and everytime I think about it, I become so angry, and I too just want to run away to the ocean and never talk to anyone again...the anger and sadness is overwhelming. When this happens, I try to remind myself that we cannot control others, and if left alone, sooner or later they will come back around, when they are ready. And I pray, every night, before I go to bed for God to please lift the anger from my heart and I pray for the person who is causing me grief. Then I also divert myself...I get out and interact with other people or go see a movie or a concert, the more I get out of the house and immerse myself in activities I enjoy, the less overwhelmed I feel by my emotions. I notice it's worse when I am tired.
Of course, I know that it is easier to do those things when it's not your own daughter who is doing it. I do feel your pain. When I was younger I would at times reject my father because of certain behaviors that I could not deal with, but as I got older he mellowed out, I mellowed out, and we became a lot closer. It takes time, but if you can be patient, and hang in there for a while, it is well worth it.
I hope these feelings pass for you. I think they will. Please take care of yourself.
FD
everything is already ok
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Woke up this morning, getting ready for work and it suddenly occurred to me; "Kevin may as well be the best you can today and enjoy yourself" then everything changed, really my perspective changed and I am feeling entirely different right now.
Thanks for being here with me and please don't go away
Kevin
Thanks for being here with me and please don't go away
Kevin
everything is already ok
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
giving myself permission today to:
feel good about myself
feel good about life
to treat myself as a good person, sick but bnot a bad person
be good to everyone and speak lightly
hug my dogs lots
hug and support other members
remind myself of how I feel today when it gets roug
remind myself of how far I have come
remind myself thsi is a journey not a race
Kevin
feel good about myself
feel good about life
to treat myself as a good person, sick but bnot a bad person
be good to everyone and speak lightly
hug my dogs lots
hug and support other members
remind myself of how I feel today when it gets roug
remind myself of how far I have come
remind myself thsi is a journey not a race
Kevin
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Hey Kevin - That's good advice for me as well! You sound better and I hope if you're faking it until you make it, its working. It looks like it is. ((((KEVIN))) Hug those dogs! I hug mine all the time, but the puppy kind of ends up chewing on me. LOL!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Kevin I'm glad you did not go back to the bad ol' days. I am also very glad you have a dog to hug when you feel down. My dogs help me too in that way.
As far as us leaving you, that's not going to happen! You're stuck with us! Friends don't let friends suffer alone.
:ghug3
As far as us leaving you, that's not going to happen! You're stuck with us! Friends don't let friends suffer alone.
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Kevin)))
I'm glad you're feeling better..you deserve it!
My dad and I didn't get along for a long, long time. We always loved each other, but I now see we are so much alike (both stubborn as heck) that it got in the way of us liking each other.
It took me getting into recovery to appreciate him like I should.
Your daughter knows you love her. It just takes some growing up for us daughters to realize that love means not always saying/doing what we want, but what is best for us.
Heck, if my dad hadn't been so firm with me, I wouldn't be where I am today!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm glad you're feeling better..you deserve it!
My dad and I didn't get along for a long, long time. We always loved each other, but I now see we are so much alike (both stubborn as heck) that it got in the way of us liking each other.
It took me getting into recovery to appreciate him like I should.
Your daughter knows you love her. It just takes some growing up for us daughters to realize that love means not always saying/doing what we want, but what is best for us.
Heck, if my dad hadn't been so firm with me, I wouldn't be where I am today!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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