Hevyn

Murphy, since you're agonizing over this why not vow to tell them, but just not now - not until you're stronger and more sure of yourself and your recovery. I would start writing it all down in a letter you can eventually give or send to them - including your fear that they'll be dissapointed in you. I like letters in situations like this because it gives you chance to say what you want to without being interrupted or getting emotional. You can make changes to the letter as needed. Selfseeking's right, your parent's have "two good ones" - otherwise you wouldn't even be trying to set things straight. Please let us know how you're doing. Love, Joanie

murphy75

i'm just saying i don't think i derserve any recognition. I don't think i really did anything spectacular to deserve any tyoe of recognition.

murphy75

the letter idea is a good one. I think that will probably work out best. Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate everyone's help.

lizw

My parents knew. They had my daughter! I was the last one in my family to know I was an alcoholic/addict and I went to treatment. Lol.

How long you been clean? And how old are you?

I'm in my 30's and my life is far removed from my parents.

If you are in your teens and doing this by yourself, it may be a good idea to get some outside help. This maybe what wanting to tell your family is about. Isolation.

IMO

murphy75

i have been clean for a month on monday and i'm seventeen. i just don't know if them knowing will help me at all...

dancinggirl

You're doing great...I don't see why you feel you have to tell them unless you think it will help YOU! And remember, it isn't just a few people who know about you, WE know about you, are actively following your recovery and are seriously involved and caring about your progress. And someone is ALWAYS here. You're not alone, kiddo.

lizw

I wouldn't tell them, not now but I would seek some help for myself outside here in the 'real world'. As I said it sounds like just having yourself and BF know is quite isolating. Addiction breeds on secrets too...

whiskerkissed

Honey - this is definitely a very personal choice. I'm 44 and only just told my mom. I kind of had too in a way, but also wanted to. She often calls in the evenings and it's when my meetings are. I went from always being there when she called...to not. I know my mother though. I knew she would be incredibly supportive.

My step-dad, on the other hand, does not know...and he may not ever. He might be supportive...and I have no doubt he wouldn't be any other way, but he's also a huge gossip...and you can bet the one (me) who seemed for many many years to "finally have it together" went into a fall apart and went back into drugs (he was dating mom when I was using in the way back. He picked me up from a friends house when I was in the 5th grade loaded off my ass from pot). He knew the deal then for many years...and thought I was past all that. He would tell EVERYONE...even if he was supportive at the same time.

You know your parents better than anyone. It's a hard thing to go through on your own. If you believe you may get some support and help by telling, that's still your choice and one only you can make. I'm glad I told Mom...in a way...and sometimes I regret telling. She is a worrier. She was a trauma unit nurse for 25 yrs and knows what drugs can do.

I wish you strength in your decision. In the end...I AM glad I told my mom.

kelsh

Hi Murphy,

From what you have said...you are 17, still living at home, & have been clean & sober one month...your parents probably know you had a problem but haven't been able to put their finger on it yet. :ghug2

To this day (& I am an alcoholic in recovery 20 years & was a counselor at Mental Health)....I have trouble picking out a drug addict but of course can tell an alcoholic by the smell...in certain situations.

If you were as addicted as you shared with us then your parents most likely know but don't want to face it as a reality.

I do like the idea of a letter and lots of consideration for your parents. You will certainly show them by examples of your behaviors that you are the child they are very proud of the longer you stay clean & sober. :atv

When I finally got sober and my sober time kept adding up, I wanted to get up on the proverbial roof top and shout "I am sober!!!"

My parents lived an 8 hour drive away from me & they knew I had a drinking problem even when I didn't start drinking until I was out of their home & married at age 20. I wouldn't have been able to live at home and hide it from them.

Good luck to you and keep up the deep thinking and keep coming back here.

kelsh