Notices

My first meeting in over a week

Old 09-02-2008, 09:50 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
lostgirl89's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Rogue Valley
Posts: 65
Angry My first meeting in over a week

Well, I havent been to a meeting in like 10 days... I know not good, and I know it...it's been a hell 10 days...I wanted to drink sooooooooooo bad... I could go into the circumstances...but they are not good enough excuses...( mostly quarrels with the idiot)...I tried to pull the I dont need to go to meetings I can do this on my own...card....reverse psychology on him....but it didnt work...mostly didnt work for me...
So I went to a meeting tonite and sat in the back and bawled the whole time...I just feel so empty...waiting for something to fill that hole...someone said sobriety would fill it... and then I had to walk home, ( he was too busy to come get me) and all I wanted was someone to talk to...anyone to tell me I was ok...I feel blank...I havent written in my journal because I cant find words...just empty....I guess maybe I am avoiding "feeling" because it hurts and Im scared of what that will bring me...afraid to look under the covers I have hidden under for so very long.
So...that's it...sorry...Im sure I'll get some suck it up tough love advice....(Im sorry...snide remark...)
I just feel no confidence...no self esteem...54 days sober....and here I am...alone in a house full of dogs and my kids...
Sorry for the waste of letters and punctuation...just had to vent
But I am thankful to be sober....Just for today...
lostgirl89 is offline  
Old 09-02-2008, 10:42 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
If you had asked....I am certain another woman would
have taken you home ...giving you a chance to discuss
your specific concerns.

I too must rely on rides as I had to
quit driving 4 years ago. I can no longer see

Perhaps calling another woman is a good idea?

...I know early sobriety is an up and down deal
I think I was finally emotionally in balance at 2 months.

However...I did not have your living arrangements to
contend with . ... I did have my own special set...

That empty feeling you wrote about?
I re-connected to my God and found peace.

Blessings to you and your family
CarolD is offline  
Old 09-02-2008, 10:50 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
crispy77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Idaho
Posts: 23
I can sooo relate lostgirl89...
crispy77 is offline  
Old 09-03-2008, 01:44 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Jig
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 177
Hang in there mate.
Jig is offline  
Old 09-03-2008, 05:01 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,673
THis too shall pass. I'm also uncomfortable with my feelings these days. Maybe cause I'd buried them, drowned them for so long, and now it's hard facing my feelings without being numb.

I'm glad you haven't used your feelings as an excuse to drink. Come here and vent your feelings instead of drinking over them. We're here for you!

:ghug3
least is offline  
Old 09-03-2008, 05:47 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,333
When I stopped drinking, I felt as lost as you do.

I had to re-connect with my spiritual side in order to be able to move forward, because I felt that my life was purposeless.

"The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukav showed me, in a gentle, loving way, how to find my soul's path. I had spent my entire life ignoring the little voice in my head that was guiding me and allowing other people's wants to drown it out. Once, I reconnected with that voice, I find a sense of purpose and peacefulness.
Anna is online now  
Old 09-03-2008, 07:52 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
adore79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
WOW 54 days sober! You are doing great Rach. Thanks for reaching out. And vent away as much as you want! :ghug3
adore79 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:23 AM.