bodmin2008

just wondering if anyone lived in a household where someone is so physically interfereing in every single aspect that they make anyone who lived there either drink to supress the justifiable anger a person would feel at having their entire quite simply disrupted to point everything actually fails and if so did anyone ever pick a baseball bat and say 'look dont disrupt me or I will hit you with this baseball bat' and when the said person simply shrugged their shoulders and said you wont take help and advice they snapped and hit them with said baseball bat or did you get a drink to calm down

Anna

Wow! Violence is never okay, under any circumstances, in my opinion.

And, no one can make someone drink. Sometimes life is difficult and having a drink might seem like a good choice to get through something, but, it would be a choice. That's what I had to learn.

Jersey Nonny

Now, let's see...would using the baseball bat because of "justifiable anger" be a defense plea for "justifiable homicide"? I seriously doubt it!

Better to put the baseball bat away and put the drink down!

bodmin2008

my question was how do other people cope in this situation, there is a period where sobriety begins and where the positive sides of being sober make an effect on ones life.

I would compare my situation to that of being a dog where the owner pulls the tail of the dog everytime it comes out its box for the amusement of the owner, a dog would either bite the owner or the dog would not come out of the box for fear of having its tail pulled.

Now I am not a dog I am human but the analogy is correct, I live in an enviroment where there is no economic solution to my living here in the short term and I have live in a house where someone else has the economic whip hand over me totally and this person takes pleasure in seeing me angry and has I guess what you would call control issues and the more I do to regain my life control the heavier the teasing gets and its not just words at its most extreme level it can be physical attacks followed by economic threats of anhilation and I mean bankruptcy and possible prison if I do not back down.

So here I am I would love to sober up, I tend to be very much a solitary drinker, I am not an agressive drunk, I dont have black outs and my drinking is heavy and persistent and pretty much dependent, I do have experience of AA and it is true I the one who decides to drink but also in AA it is said you alone are responsible for your own actions and that I agree with but because of someone else I am not physically capable of being responsible for my own actions because someone is constantly shall we say teasing me though thats a very polite term for abuse.

Yes this other person does drink daily quite heavily though I think we are talking an abusive personality here rather than an alcoholic.

Other people must have been stuck in places they cant get out of in the short term and somehow they coped and made their lives better to the point where they could make that change and I wonder how you successful ones did it.

And as far as using a baseball bat goes, well I would go to jail for that so they would win and as far as continuing smothering my rage with drink they win too so I need another solution.

Emimily

How about forgiveness?

Meetings?

Prayer, meditation, yoga, healthy eating, walking, getting out of the house, looking for possible economic solutions, volunteering, doing things for others so you're not so stuck in YOU.

Those things work for me when it seems like the only alternatives are a drink or a bat. Good luck.

dancinggirl

You have zero control over anything when you're drinking still. You want control of your life and evironment?? Stop drinking! It's amazing the solutions that come with a clear/sober head.

I wish you the best only.

Jersey Nonny

I heard in AA that there's no such thing as "justifiable anger"...at least that's a luxury we alcoholics can't afford.

Quote:

When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.
Thomas Jefferson

I'm afraid there will always be someone around to push our buttons. If we used them as an excuse to drink, none of us would ever get/stay sober.

CarolD

How did I deal with a physically abusive husband?
He punched me....ER time.

When he went fishing the following day ....
I packed up some clothes and drove away
On my way out of the state....got a legal separation
and cleaned out our joint bank accounts.

...This was before my alcoholism and recovery.
Drinking was not the issue...being struck was.

sailorjohn

Uh, slavery was abolished over a century and a half ago, no one is compelled to live in circumstances that they find intolerable.

Everyone, unless they are suffering from some sort of organic mental illness that renders them unable to control their actions, is responsible for the choices they make. Period. We all have excuses, bottom line is they are merely that, excuses.

parentrecovers

hey bodmin, you have choices. take care of YOU. hugs, k