Am I headed for a relapse?
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by chiynita 
BUT if it wasnt for this place I wouldnt be where I am today. This place helped me grow in so many ways I cant even begin to explain in words. I have tried meetings. And they are all fine and dandy. But not my cup of tea.
I do believe like Dee said everyone has thier own path. And I do believe there are many ways to recovery.
I do believe like Dee said everyone has thier own path. And I do believe there are many ways to recovery.
Yes! SR has saved my butt a number of times. If I hadn't found this site earlier in the year (I was a lurker for a while) I would still be drinking obscene amounts of alcohol. Chiynita, you keep on doing what works for you. I hope your mood improves soon. Myself, I do get irritated at times, but mostly I feel fatigued. Try to take it easy.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Hey Trish,
I was sitting here reading these posts and thinking-a year ago?You'd never have even made this post.You'd possibly have just thought eff it and how I feel-and gone out again.I guess I'm just saying do start to see how far you've come-even if you are feeling like crap right now.You've felt like crap before but this time?You are reaching out and doing everything you can think of to not let yourself go back there again.That's something to hang on to and be proud of.( I know it doesn't change how you feel right now-but it's one positive thought you can put in your brain to help counter the negative ones maybe?)
Anyone addicted needs to have some kind of plan, program-sure-but I agree we all do it different ways and that's what gives us so much more to offer.There's no one road to recovery.It just matters that we're on one.I love hearing about all the different ways people have moved through their recovery.It's enriching and gives me hope too.
I am keeping you in my prayers that this dark time ends soon and you start to experience some reward for the hard work you've put in.
Julesxox
I was sitting here reading these posts and thinking-a year ago?You'd never have even made this post.You'd possibly have just thought eff it and how I feel-and gone out again.I guess I'm just saying do start to see how far you've come-even if you are feeling like crap right now.You've felt like crap before but this time?You are reaching out and doing everything you can think of to not let yourself go back there again.That's something to hang on to and be proud of.( I know it doesn't change how you feel right now-but it's one positive thought you can put in your brain to help counter the negative ones maybe?)
Anyone addicted needs to have some kind of plan, program-sure-but I agree we all do it different ways and that's what gives us so much more to offer.There's no one road to recovery.It just matters that we're on one.I love hearing about all the different ways people have moved through their recovery.It's enriching and gives me hope too.
I am keeping you in my prayers that this dark time ends soon and you start to experience some reward for the hard work you've put in.
Julesxox
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
Hey: Girl whats up I'm so sorry 4r what u are confronting
I know what u are going trough, I'm also feeling the
Down Jones, but listen u even said it that u don't
want 2 go trough the same feelings we go trough
when we relapse,that's what keeps me clean thinking
about the mess up feelings of shame, guilt,n the Hangover
broken pocket feeling like crap.
u are very strong young lady,I learn from u allots of the times
u got a good heart, is mess up that our siblings don't see that
n try 2 use us as a mat,just hang in there this 2 shall pass
n when it dos ur going 2 come out stronger than ever ull see
read ur logo on ur post.
"When we long for a life with out difficulty.Remind us that oaks grow stronger in contrary
winds and diamonds are made under pressure"
I know what u are going trough, I'm also feeling the
Down Jones, but listen u even said it that u don't
want 2 go trough the same feelings we go trough
when we relapse,that's what keeps me clean thinking
about the mess up feelings of shame, guilt,n the Hangover
broken pocket feeling like crap.
u are very strong young lady,I learn from u allots of the times
u got a good heart, is mess up that our siblings don't see that
n try 2 use us as a mat,just hang in there this 2 shall pass
n when it dos ur going 2 come out stronger than ever ull see
read ur logo on ur post.
"When we long for a life with out difficulty.Remind us that oaks grow stronger in contrary
winds and diamonds are made under pressure"
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 12
Lapse
Oh, sunshine:
I know exactly how you feel: kind of lost and groundless, like the world is spinning, but you are standing still. That's me right now, confused, trying to force myself to do things that are usually very easy for me to do, a frightening total lack of motivation.
I know that it seems cliche to tell you that I know how you feel, but I also know that this too shall pass, and that when I start feeling like this, it begins a 'lapse,' which is the top of a staircase that spirals down to relapse, and I know that it is due time to start working my program harder than ever.
I hope that you're doing well, and you're in my prayers.
-Tzaddi
I know exactly how you feel: kind of lost and groundless, like the world is spinning, but you are standing still. That's me right now, confused, trying to force myself to do things that are usually very easy for me to do, a frightening total lack of motivation.
I know that it seems cliche to tell you that I know how you feel, but I also know that this too shall pass, and that when I start feeling like this, it begins a 'lapse,' which is the top of a staircase that spirals down to relapse, and I know that it is due time to start working my program harder than ever.
I hope that you're doing well, and you're in my prayers.
-Tzaddi
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
Chy, here is a Beautiful song that was send 2 me in my times of
trouble, I had post it before 2 some other people in there time
of distress, so Please Don't take it wrong, is just such a touching
song Please Listen 2 it. Luv n Hugs xoxoxoxo
YouTube - He will carry me
trouble, I had post it before 2 some other people in there time
of distress, so Please Don't take it wrong, is just such a touching
song Please Listen 2 it. Luv n Hugs xoxoxoxo
YouTube - He will carry me
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Trish)))
I'm with Jules...I was thinking of how far you've come since I've known you!!!
I don't have any great advice as how to get through this because I do exactly the same thing...get on SR and reach out. I think it helps for us to just get the feelings out.
I've been through some pretty bad slumps recently. That's why the race I posted about this morning was like a smack in the head, for me, to get OUT of my head. People always tell me to it helps to reach out to others. I've found that just talking to my coworkers about their lives helps. Some have the big houses, and plenty of money, but most are struggling with day-to-day stuff and it makes me realize everyone has problems.
When I relapsed, I DID have in the back of my mind to use. You don't and I don't even entertain that thought any more. I feel that no matter how bad things are now, they will get a million times worse if I use.
As far as antidepressants, when I was put on them, years ago, I did NOT want to be on them. But I found out they just helped me focus (my attention span was nil) and no "high" feeling at all. I only took them for a few months but they did help. I looked at depression as a weakness in me, but found out it was a chemical imbalance in my brain. You may or may not need meds, but it is an option if this keeps up.
I think you are doing fantastic!! You are being proactive in your recovery and that is GREAT!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm with Jules...I was thinking of how far you've come since I've known you!!!
I don't have any great advice as how to get through this because I do exactly the same thing...get on SR and reach out. I think it helps for us to just get the feelings out.
I've been through some pretty bad slumps recently. That's why the race I posted about this morning was like a smack in the head, for me, to get OUT of my head. People always tell me to it helps to reach out to others. I've found that just talking to my coworkers about their lives helps. Some have the big houses, and plenty of money, but most are struggling with day-to-day stuff and it makes me realize everyone has problems.
When I relapsed, I DID have in the back of my mind to use. You don't and I don't even entertain that thought any more. I feel that no matter how bad things are now, they will get a million times worse if I use.
As far as antidepressants, when I was put on them, years ago, I did NOT want to be on them. But I found out they just helped me focus (my attention span was nil) and no "high" feeling at all. I only took them for a few months but they did help. I looked at depression as a weakness in me, but found out it was a chemical imbalance in my brain. You may or may not need meds, but it is an option if this keeps up.
I think you are doing fantastic!! You are being proactive in your recovery and that is GREAT!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Earth School
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by AW2486
I recently listened to an AA speaker named Clancy .. He talks about a spring in his guts, that just starts to churn, and churn. He mentioned two ways to fix it. Drinking Alcohol or getting active in recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 700
Originally Posted by scorpiogirl
Oh Gosh! Clancy made it all the way to Wisconsin
Clancy deals mostly with low bottom skid row drunks. The bottom of the bottom. So if they can get sober raking his yard.. good for them. Nobody makes them rake.
Still praying for you Trish...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
