I was doing great then BOOM!
 

Folks, I went 3+ weeks sober and when my blood results on my liver came back normal I fell off my wagon. I have drank 3 nights in a row and feel like crap. Any advice out there to break this thing and get started anew. I know, get to a meeting is first. I feel like an idot!:c004:

First of all you are not an idiot! :hug: it happens...and yes a meeting would probably be a good start if that is your choice of recovery! Coming here and being open and honest was an awesome start!

Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get moving again! Others have fallen and feeling sorry for ourselves without taking action to continue our journey is probably keeping IMHO ourselves in a victim role so get up and be gentle with yourself :hug: and take action!

Breathe....... it takes time

Keep us posted and remember you are not alone- there is a lot of support here 24 hours a day!

Hang in ther Ghal, I quit several times and this time it is working! Will power and support. Just never EVER have that first one, Make today be the first day of your new sober life! Don't look back, don't feel like an idiot, don't dwell on things, just look ahead and feel good about it...

Heavy

If at first you don't succeed....

(Pretend that your liver is all shot to hell from drinking. Besides - if it isn't, it will be at some point, right?)

I've done that....at one point I thought sobriety was only about getting my physical health back to a semblence of normality.

I didn't even think about the mental recovery!

Now, I don't attach all that much importance to physical recovery; I don't feel I've quit to save my liver or have my skin tone return or lose the beer belly. I have quit to get my sanity back. I notice I take care of my body much better now, as a natural result of being a more mentally stable person. Hope that makes sense....

Ghal,

I did the exact same thing! Next think I knew I was getting hammered every night. I woke up one day with amazing stomach nausea and got scared again. I feel like I've gained some experience having fallen once before and as a result I have so many more reasons to quit this time around. If you don't have elevated liver enzymes, it doesn't mean you haven't done damage and doesn't mean you've dodged a bullet. Honestly I'm afraid of dying among so many other things. I simply can't have just a glass of wine with dinner or have a brewsky with my buddies at a baseball game. I need to get blasted every single time which is like dumping poison in my body. I'm over it one day at a time and I think you need to take this as serious as it truly is man. Continuing to drink as we alcoholics do will some day kill you one way or another. Whether it is cancer, liver disease, or a car accident, it'll happen. Grab the bull by the horns and make the committment. I'll do it with you.

Thanks everyone! I am going to beat this mess. I am still healthy, have a great career, great wife and kids, etc.. I have too much to lose and I need to remind myself of that daily. God Bless!

ghal, good luck and try not to kick yourself so hard that you hurt yourself more. I think we've all quit, picked up, quit and picked up again until we got it. I hope it works for you and you find what it is that will help you to keep going.

I like to call that voice in my head that tells me "it's ok" my Alcoholic Alter Ego and I've pretty much taken it down quite a bit in the last 10 months. I want to win, not that ego part. ;)

Exactly. :)

THe only thing I could say has already been said: start over again! And don't pick up that first one!

:ghug3

Oh ghal I know how you feel :flow: Im three weeks sober the most Ive done for ages and it bloody scares me as Ive stuffed up before :c021: All I can say is put it behing you dust youself off and know your not allong!! We will fight the fight with you!:flower5:

Yeah, I agree, you are not an idiot, just an alcoholic. I would advise you to do STEP 1 again. It is the only step we have to do perfectly.

Don't play russian rullet with your life. I have a friend who is 23 years old and 3 months ago she did the same thing as you...got a liver test and it came back normal so she said "Yippee! I am fine. See, the alcohol is not hurting me. I can drink. Yadda Yadda Yadda.....and then, like you, she drank again!"

Well guess what?

She just found out she has hepatitis C and needs 48 weeks of chemo and she also has liver cirrosis! I KNOW SHE WISHES SHE WOULD NOT HAVE STARTED DRINKING AGAIN! :skillet

I'm pleased your blood test were normal...:hug:
That gives you better odds that you can
enjoy a long healthy sober future.

The sooner you begin again...the easier it will be
:).....Get back to meetings...start the Steps
read The Promises.

You too can recover!