Don't cross my boundaries!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Originally Posted by mattcake79 
LOL, I second the motion for a "No more sh!t" thread!!.
Good for you Suz! It's cool to be laid back without being a doormat. I really admire people who are gentle yet firm and no-nonsense. All the more power to you!
Good for you Suz! It's cool to be laid back without being a doormat. I really admire people who are gentle yet firm and no-nonsense. All the more power to you!
No angel feathers ruffled ... 
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Toomutch
Thank you for posting Astro - it seems as if the other men are shying away from this thread. LOL
personally i have multiple boundaries depending on the situations and the people involved, and i keep them dynamic and fluid. static unchanging boundaries are not very efficient. its rewarding you'll find claiming your personal space!
all my very best, Toomutch!
RR
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
yeah, there are shy men and shy women too. I totally agree we all need boundaries which are healthy for us, and for others so that they know how to approach us. it is great that you want to define those boundaries for yourself.
personally i have multiple boundaries depending on the situations and the people involved, and i keep them dynamic and fluid. static unchanging boundaries are not very efficient. its rewarding you'll find claiming your personal space!
all my very best, Toomutch!
RR
personally i have multiple boundaries depending on the situations and the people involved, and i keep them dynamic and fluid. static unchanging boundaries are not very efficient. its rewarding you'll find claiming your personal space!
all my very best, Toomutch!
RR
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Have you worked steps 6 and 7 yet? Becareful not to let your new found attitude become a huge character defect. (Anger breads anger, resentment breads resentment etc. etc. etc. which could lead to a relapse down the road) Afterall, our character defects are what drove us to drink in the first place. Drinking was just a very small part (a symptom) of our disease.
If you haven't worked steps 6 and 7 with a sponsor, do it soon! Of course I recommend doing all 12 steps in order. :ghug3
If you haven't worked steps 6 and 7 with a sponsor, do it soon! Of course I recommend doing all 12 steps in order. :ghug3
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Suzette, you just put into words what I've been thinking lately - thank you for that! In my case, it isn't my husband, but my mother & sister who refuse to try to understand what I've been through. No amount of apologizing & explaining has made any difference in their attitude towards me. I can't believe the number of years I've spent hanging my head, feeling guilty and remorseful. I've gained strength by being understood here on SR. I've come to know I'm not the black sheep, misfit I had convinced myself I was. I've noticed with every month I stay sober a new attitude developing. If anyone doesn't have the heart to try to understand and forgive, their feelings for me must not have gone very deep. I no longer need anyone's validation. It feels great!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Suzette
Ya got me to thinking about boundaries. What are they? Why would having boundaries make you a b*tch?
I think we are like cells in a way. Permeable to that which we allow, impermeable to that which is toxic. We decide. No one else.
We must beware of viruses (virii) that can invade. Sometimes we are a white blood cell and sometimes red. Sometimes we search and destroy, other times we nourish and heal.
The health of the organism is the goal. We will get sick, get the flu, fend it off, heal. If it is cancerous, we may have to take drastic measures-cut it out, or zap it with chemo or radiation. For most of us, natural healing is all it takes. But it is we who make the decision.
Boundaries are not offensive most of the time. They simply ensure our health and survival. When we are healthy, everyone else benefits.
warren
Ya got me to thinking about boundaries. What are they? Why would having boundaries make you a b*tch?
I think we are like cells in a way. Permeable to that which we allow, impermeable to that which is toxic. We decide. No one else.
We must beware of viruses (virii) that can invade. Sometimes we are a white blood cell and sometimes red. Sometimes we search and destroy, other times we nourish and heal.
The health of the organism is the goal. We will get sick, get the flu, fend it off, heal. If it is cancerous, we may have to take drastic measures-cut it out, or zap it with chemo or radiation. For most of us, natural healing is all it takes. But it is we who make the decision.
Boundaries are not offensive most of the time. They simply ensure our health and survival. When we are healthy, everyone else benefits.
warren
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Last night I had the opportunity to use my boundaries.
Hubby came home and began to talk down to and control me. I stood up and in a firm voice said " you will not talk down to me nor will you tell me what to do, because it is not going to work for you". He tried a few times to control the situation, but I stood firm.
He actually came and appoligized to me.
This might just work out after all.
Suzette
Hubby came home and began to talk down to and control me. I stood up and in a firm voice said " you will not talk down to me nor will you tell me what to do, because it is not going to work for you". He tried a few times to control the situation, but I stood firm.
He actually came and appoligized to me.
This might just work out after all.
Suzette
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7OU7Nezg7Ls&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7OU7Nezg7Ls&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
pretty soon
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
