new here low.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 9
new here low.
Hi names luke, and the force aint working.
Im addicted to substance abuse, of almost any kind. I wanna stop, and i don't want to at the same time.... Im upset and confused, i been abusing with knowledge for years, i already quit drugs and drinking at the younger age of 20, relapsed 4 years later now 28 and worse than ever. I know i need to quit, but I feel i dont want to. any insight would be more than helpful. i feel so lost now cause i know better, but feel like i can't do nothing...
lw
Im addicted to substance abuse, of almost any kind. I wanna stop, and i don't want to at the same time.... Im upset and confused, i been abusing with knowledge for years, i already quit drugs and drinking at the younger age of 20, relapsed 4 years later now 28 and worse than ever. I know i need to quit, but I feel i dont want to. any insight would be more than helpful. i feel so lost now cause i know better, but feel like i can't do nothing...
lw
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Santa Rosa Beach, FL
Posts: 32
Welcome tea!
I wish I had some magic words to help you.
I am hoping and wishing super hard that you can find you want to quit more than you want keep using. It helped me at first, to read many of the old threads. I found certain stories and comments that just reached my mind the right way. It really helped me tremendously. Some things I read stayed with me like a mantra the first couple of weeks.
Keep us posted.
I wish I had some magic words to help you.
I am hoping and wishing super hard that you can find you want to quit more than you want keep using. It helped me at first, to read many of the old threads. I found certain stories and comments that just reached my mind the right way. It really helped me tremendously. Some things I read stayed with me like a mantra the first couple of weeks.
Keep us posted.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Glad you found us, Luke.
As you know, admitting you have a problem is the first step. You also know that there is no miracle cure . . . it's One Day at A Time.
There's many of us, including myself, who had periods of of clean and sober time and then relapsed. Let go of the guilt and shame . . . I know that's easier said than done. The longer you hold on to those feelings, the harder it's going to be to begin feeling better about yourself.
Did you go to Meetings before? For this addict and alcoholic, Meetings are a lifeline. Without them, I would not be alive today.
Keep reading and posting, share as little or as much with us that you are comfortable doing. We're open 24/7/365 . . . we never close!
God Bless,
Judy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 9
another question that I need to ask is why is it, that while i am inebriated i feel the need to quit, but while sober i can deny my problem so easily.????? if feels like i never had a drink in my life when im sober.
.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Hi Luke,
Welcome!
It sounds like you're experiencing denial and that's a huge part of addiction.
All I can tell you is that you really need to be movitaed to stop using drugs/drinking in order for it work. You need to really want it.
Welcome!
It sounds like you're experiencing denial and that's a huge part of addiction.
All I can tell you is that you really need to be movitaed to stop using drugs/drinking in order for it work. You need to really want it.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
It sounds like you know you need to quit but don't know how. Thats where I was last December and it's a scary place to be. It helps to reach out to others to get things sorted out and put together some sort of action plan. For me, just wishing the obsession would go away did not work. I tried one-on-one counseling in the past and am currently a member of AA. Sober, no-obsession. Took some effort but it was so worth it!
SR is a great place. You are not alone in your struggle.
SR is a great place. You are not alone in your struggle.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 9
I know the aa times of my current area, but i have not hat the courage to go yet. Plus there are also held in a church in my area, and im not sure if a can talk about substance abuse there aswell. I don't wanna be the only one with multiple addictions,... there is no na around that is practicle for me.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
another question that I need to ask is why is it, that while i am inebriated i feel the need to quit, but while sober i can deny my problem so easily.????? if feels like i never had a drink in my life when im sober.
When I was still using and needed a drink, of course no logic or reasoning came into play. The only thing that was going on was the need for that drink. I never told myself,"You know you're an alcoholic and you can't drink." It was more like,"Go ahead . . . have a few, you deserve it. You'll only have a few and quit. It's been a bad/good/boring/busy/stressful . . . day and you can just have one . . or two . . . or twelve. Just this one last time"
Now, just like the cat chasing it's tail, begin reading the start of this reply . . . all over again.
That viscious cycle all over again.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Originally Posted by teabagger 
I know the aa times of my current area, but i have not hat the courage to go yet. Plus there are also held in a church in my area, and im not sure if a can talk about substance abuse there aswell. I don't wanna be the only one with multiple addictions,... there is no na around that is practicle for me.
Most of our AA/NA meetings are held in churches. It's been this way since the beginning. We talk about anything & everything recovery related.
In my case, I just had to suck up the fear and first call the hotline, second walk through the doors (had help with this part, a long-time member met me at the door). After I got past that, I could focus on the solution.
Won't know if it's right for you unless you check it out
!
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Hey Luke, I don't know where your at and the chances are probably slim, but these are a couple of other options that might be available:
General Information About LifeRing Meetings
SMART RecoveryŽ - Meetings In Your Area
They also have online meetings as well. Don't give up!
DK
General Information About LifeRing Meetings
SMART RecoveryŽ - Meetings In Your Area
They also have online meetings as well. Don't give up!
DK
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Welcome, Luke...keep reading and posting here. Recovery is a process. You know you have a problem and you are taking actions to move forward. When you are ready to detox, be aware that doing so alone can be deadly.
:ghug
:ghug
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