bostonluv

You little critter!!! I saw your post heading and thought, Yeah. Big SurpriseDancing Girl!! now you feel crappy/guilty/sick, right?! Told you guys I was crabby lately. I'm so glad this turned out to be a great post. A real victory. I'm very proud of you and glad you are still ahead of me on your days.

Oh...you know what to do with that booze: GET RID OF IT. It'll feel great and be another victory today.

dancinggirl

TSH: the new tattoo is still all swollen and shiny (from the cream to put on it)...but I'll post one when it's healed. And once I figure out how to post a picture! lol

ghal

I guess you know you need to pour it down he drain.
Great job last night! I reach for pints of ice cream myself

bugsworth

dancinggirl....what are you not ready for?

dancinggirl

i don't know if i'm ready to give up alcohol completely yet. I thought I was...I was so absolutely SURE that i was finished and felt soooo good by not drinking. But the craving just keeps getting stronger and stronger...and my excuses TO drink just keep getting louder. Like, "I did it once, I can do it again"...we all know that one. Plus, "i'm not as bad as other people"...that one's pretty typical too, isn't it?

sobergirl77

Congrats on dodging the drink! I've been using the eating technique not to drink as well. It works, but darn it if I'm not gaining even more weight.

Only you can dump the booze out, but let me tell you, you do NOT want to relapse. It's never a simple matter of having a few or only doing it one night. It will pull you back in... take it from someone who made it 24 days and caved. Since then I haven't been sober more than 3 days at a time. It's a never-ending nightmare that I've been unable to break out of...

You don't want to come back to this place. So go pour that darn booze out, NOW!

:ghug2

bugsworth

There is not an excuse in the book that my brain hasn't tried. The scariest one is "I can quit again"...that one doesn't come with a disclaimer stating that I won't kill myself or someone else in the mean time. Drinking is no longer an option, remind yourself and the voice that whispers to you.

bostonluv

Great advice Bugsworth. For me personally, I know I can't/won't "quit" again after a relapse and it helps keep me sober. It can't be an option anymore.

rurdy2rk

Dancinggirl, you know what is happening, and you realize it. It's just the alcohol trying to play a trick on you. Since we are all in this together, why don't you do me a favor. Take the booze back to the store and get a refund, then go do something for yourself. (Movie, out to eat, another tattoo, whatever). Can you just decide to "ride out the storm" this weekend for us? If you still feel the same next week, then we can worry about it then. You MAY feel much better about the situation after a sober weekend - you never know. The only 2 things I can promise you is the people of SR are here for you, and chances are if you do drink this weekend you will feel bad about it - no matter what your mind is saying now.

Best of luck,

Tom

bugsworth

Way too scary to contemplate sometimes....No buzz is worth that pain ever again....sheer madness in the beginning...the back and forth in your head. Thankfully this goes away!

dancinggirl

Does it?! Does it really go away? 'Cause I swear it's just getting louder and louder...I'm continously "yes? no? do i? don't i?"...all day long. Even thought I pigged out on pizza and candy last night, the sheer mental exertions of the inner debate made me lose two pounds yesterday! I kid you not! The stress of this made me lose weight. It's just soooo much stress.

least

The cravings may never go completely away but the longer you're sober, the stronger your resistance to temptation. I'm talking to myself a lot these days, arguing really, telling myself how much I DO NOT want to go "back there"! Every time I've relapsed the withdrawals have been worse and it's harder to get back up on the wagon.

I can only speak for myself but I know in my heart that I'm NOT giving in. I've come too far to throw it away.

:ghug3

ruch

I'm really relating to you alot right now, dancinggirl. I feel exactly the same way right now. I don't have the bottle in my house(yet) but am fighting to not go get it. This is a recurring theme when it comes to weekends for me. I don't know what I can say to help right now but just want you to know you are going through a normal thing right now. We just gotta get through today and hope for a better tomorrow.

doorknob

Take it back to the store. Tell the clerk that you are trying hard not to drink and to remind you of that if you change your mind and return for alcohol. What the !@#% are you waiting for?

bugsworth

Yes my friend it gets better. I promise. I am almost 15 months away from a drink and I never would have thought I would have come so far. There are no positives to drinking for me...NONE. I too found times when the debate was loud and seemed to consume hours, but with patience, practice and perseverance those days are gone. Once in a while I have a fleeting thought, but nothing that I can't handle. I expect ups and downs...I expect to have bad days again, but I will die if I drink, I know it in my soul.

ruch

When I debate in my head why not to drink a large percentage of it is because I don't want my wife to be dissapointed. But I don't know how much longer I can not drink just because of her. I need to come up with reasons for me. And the main thing I come up with is my hangovers/withdrawl moments. The anxiety and paranoia my brain goes through on the days after a binge are feelings I never want to feel again. They are torture and not worth any buzz. That being said, I still struggle. It's an amazing thing.

Bamboozle

Remember what your Location says: OUTSIDE of a bottle .

:ghug


Come on, dancinggirl! The only time I ever want to drink is when I'm in a pretty crappy mood, so I do ANYTHING I can for a laugh. Put in a funny movie. Call someone up who will make you giggle until you pee yourself. Play a practical joke on someone. You sound like you need some cheering up. If that doesn't work, do some hard exercising. Get angry and punch inanimate objects. If you can't do those things, then craft something. Read another book. Write a book. Drink some coffee. I don't really recommend this one, but if I'm having a reeeeeally crappy day, I smoke a cigarette. ANYTHING to keep me from drinking, because I'm afraid I've used up all of my chances. I simply don't know. Hang in there.

Bamboozle

Oh yeah, I forgot something very important. I've been having a really crappy time dealing with depression. It is an everyday battle. I have to remind myself of this little phrase every time that I want a drink--I have to give sobriety enough of a chance to work. I've been drinking for 6 years. Twenty six days sober is nothing compared to that.

rurdy2rk

Dancinggirl,

Look at the replies you have received in 6 short hours. I truly admire your letting us know what is going on before you drink, and we are all here to help. Why not just not drink today?? I know you can do that! If you don't want to throw the booze down the drain, take it back! If you choose to drink agin (later on down the road), you have lost no money. You have nothing to lose, except the sobriety you have worked so hard for.

Also, on a different note, what did you get for a tattoo?

We are all praying for you to do the right thing

Tom

Dee74

Just take it back DG.
You know it'll only end one way if you don't.

I was a master at 'ah well I can quit again tomorrow'...trouble was it was never tomorrow...it was always weeks, if not months, if not years....

When you let the booze back in it bites harder and holds on more tightly - Dees Law.

Decide. Dump. Now. You know where booze leads....

D