Blogs


Notices

I want to drink today

Old 08-22-2008, 03:11 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ruch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
I want to drink today

Well, I have 41 days sober and today I really would like to give in. The thought of those first couple shots of whiskey hitting me seems like such a pleasant thought right now. After the first 10 days were in the books my current sober time has been fairly easy. Easy with the exception of days like today being sprinkled in once in a while. I guess this is just gonna be the way it is. Just gonna have to work hard to stay sober on days like today.
ruch is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:16 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: here
Posts: 70
ruch I know where your coming from. Today I have 40 days sober and I've had alot on my mind all day. Health problems causing stress. So far I've not caved in. I managed to make it home from work without stopping for beer. Today is definately a struggle.
CD-RUN is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:16 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
Congrats on the 41 days! Those days will become less and less.

Giving in and allowing the voice to manipulate you stirs it right back up....the voice gets loud again....remember where this voice leads you....there is no pleasure in drinking anymore. Keep up the great work!
bugsworth is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:20 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
To Thine Own Self Be True
 
TTOSBT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Yup, every once in awhile it will creep up on you, when you least expect it too!!
I hate that!
Every time I miss the buzz of the first couple of drinks, I remember the trapped, frantic, loss of control feeling as well. Cause I did not usually get one without the other. For me, if I play the WHOLE tape, the urge passes fairly quickly

You are doing great!
TTOSBT is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:20 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Fort Wayne IN
Posts: 284
It is great that you have acknowledged your feeling rather than reacting to the desire. These types of days test us to see how our strength is. I have been where you are today and the best thing is when I could stick it out and stay strong.
I often hear that thinking through the process of obtaining that first drink and through to the end result can help. It has helped me. I still remember my last drunk and know I do not want to have that experience again. At least not today. Stay strong and talk to another alcoholic and keep posting on this site and you can make it through another day. LOL
deezaldog is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:25 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ruch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
Thanks for the feedback everybody. Always feels good when I know I'm not alone.

Left work miserable today and then came home and paid the bills. Lots of stress in a short period of time. And yeah, those first couple shots would feel great but I always have to drink the bottle until it's gone and the vicious cycle begins.....

This will pass, and that's not just a cliche because it has passed before.
ruch is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:25 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 206
If you did take some whiskey shots, how would you feel tomorrow morning? Hungover? Angry? Ashamed? For me the hangover is enough.
Hilltopper1972 is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:26 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 54,104
Hi Ruch,

Good for you with 41 sober days!

The recovery journey, in my experience, is up and down. You can get through this and move forward. You're doing great!
Anna is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:31 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Awaiting Email Confirmation
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Originally Posted by ruch View Post
Thanks for the feedback everybody. Always feels good when I know I'm not alone.

Left work miserable today and then came home and paid the bills. Lots of stress in a short period of time. And yeah, those first couple shots would feel great but I always have to drink the bottle until it's gone and the vicious cycle begins.....

This will pass, and that's not just a cliche because it has passed before.
Good tool - play the whole scenario through to the end.

Yes, the first few sound really good... but beyond that it gets really bad.
tommyk is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:35 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ruch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
Originally Posted by CD-RUN View Post
ruch I know where your coming from. Today I have 40 days sober and I've had alot on my mind all day. Health problems causing stress. So far I've not caved in. I managed to make it home from work without stopping for beer. Today is definately a struggle.
Stress being a key word here. Just the thought of washing away the stress as easy as taking a drink, it seems so tempting. But we gotta remember how short term that fix is. Most of my stress is caused by job/money(or lack there of) and drinking may be the last thing I should be doing to deal with those issues.
ruch is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:46 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
I got nothin'
 
Bamboozle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,889
Blog Entries: 14
Hey ruch, are you hungry? Eat something or go for a walk...maybe a distraction would help right now.
Bamboozle is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:49 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
Every time I drank to relieve stress I created more! My "high" lasted 15 minutes....I never drank slowly...right out of the bottle for me...lol...lovely picture. After that it was all down hill....the regret the next day consumed me...until I did it again.

41 days sober...keep your eyes on the prize!
bugsworth is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:50 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: hollywood florida
Posts: 153
yeah i have had that feeling too.. but the key is to just know its a feeling ..and not act on it ..but face your problems or what ever is brothering you head on
tlrgs is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 04:03 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Toomutch's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Playing the scenerio through to the end is a good idea.
When I get a craving I think of my last drunk and the craving leaves. I dont ever want to feel or act like that again.
Toomutch is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 04:34 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Attitude of Gratitude
 
serenityqueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305


(((ruch))

Kudos on telling on your disease! By acknowledging your craving and sharing it with us, you begin to take some of the power away and that's one of the reasons that support systems such as SR and AA work so well. The longer we keep these feelings in, the stronger they get. Yes,we are powerless over alcohol, but by sharing and acknowledging these feelings you begin to take some of that power back.

And big congrats on your 41 days! Didn't want to let the opportunity to tell you that pass.

I did want to share a few things from you that I have learned over the past 3 years. HALT! Whenever I got a craving, most every time I had one of the above happening. You said you had just gotten off work and you were miserable, so chances are you were hungry and tired. There's two! Then you paid the bills, which can make anyone angry. Typical payday scenario. . . paycheck in hand, compensation for all of your hard work. Pay the bills and what do you have left? Usually not a whole lot. That can make anyone angry. Three out of four.

Have you gone to any AA Meetings? (I can hear some of you thinking right now, another meeting pusher. lol) In all honesty, if I didn't have AA and NA to go to for support and face to face sharing with people who are in that same boat, trying not to sink, I WOULD have sunk! Many areas have meetings that start as early as 5:30, 6:00. I went to the 5:30 meeting in my town nearly every day, straight from work in my first year or so of Recovery. It sure helped me going somewhere to share what was going on with me, plopping down in a chair and breathing a sigh of relief, much as the way some of us used to did at the bar after work. This gave me my "spiritual fix" so to speak, especially on Fridays, to start my weekend off on the right path.

Keep posting and telling on your disease. You're doing just fine!

One Day at A Time!

Judy
serenityqueen is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 04:40 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
I'm just a little unwell
 
TryingSoHard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Originally Posted by ruch View Post
Thanks for the feedback everybody. Always feels good when I know I'm not alone.

Left work miserable today and then came home and paid the bills. Lots of stress in a short period of time. And yeah, those first couple shots would feel great but I always have to drink the bottle until it's gone and the vicious cycle begins.....

This will pass, and that's not just a cliche because it has passed before.
You *SO* are not alone, and you totally did the right thing by posting here. And you're also completely right about the cycle.

GOOD FOR YOU. Stay strong. You're an inspiration to me.
TryingSoHard is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 04:52 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
IO Storm
 
IO Storm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Blog Entries: 2
ruch..

Good for you!

Sounds like you are playing the tape. A couple of shots...oh! If only we

could do that! Ha..we wouldn't be here.. *Lol* Yep..there goes the

whole bottle..and the vicious cycle..the incomprehensible demoralization

that follows. It is not the last drink that gets us..it's the first.

Keep up the good work.

And congrats on 41 days!
IO Storm is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 04:55 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
I'm just a little unwell
 
TryingSoHard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Originally Posted by IO Storm View Post
It is not the last drink that gets us..it's the first.
Oh, isn't that the truth...
TryingSoHard is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 05:51 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 85,860
Blog Entries: 32
Way to go Ruch! Congrats on your 41 days. I'm a day behind you and plan to stay that way. Sober and right behind the person with a day more than me!

You're so right about the brief good feeling alcohol brings. But I too play the tape to the end - the feeling out of control until the alcohol wears off, the urge to just go back to bed cause too tired/drunk to even sit up. The way I feel the next morning is a good way to make my cravings go away. I remember too well how bad I'd feel the next morning. It would take most of the day to feel decent again. I'm not going back there, no sir!

I'm glad you were able to beat back the demon. Shows how much stronger you're getting! That's inspiration for me to be strong too.

:ghug3
least is online now  
Old 08-22-2008, 05:52 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ruch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
Originally Posted by serenityqueen View Post


(((ruch))

Kudos on telling on your disease! By acknowledging your craving and sharing it with us, you begin to take some of the power away and that's one of the reasons that support systems such as SR and AA work so well. The longer we keep these feelings in, the stronger they get. Yes,we are powerless over alcohol, but by sharing and acknowledging these feelings you begin to take some of that power back.

And big congrats on your 41 days! Didn't want to let the opportunity to tell you that pass.

I did want to share a few things from you that I have learned over the past 3 years. HALT! Whenever I got a craving, most every time I had one of the above happening. You said you had just gotten off work and you were miserable, so chances are you were hungry and tired. There's two! Then you paid the bills, which can make anyone angry. Typical payday scenario. . . paycheck in hand, compensation for all of your hard work. Pay the bills and what do you have left? Usually not a whole lot. That can make anyone angry. Three out of four.
Judy

Thank you so much, Judy. You really did nail it for me. I get paid every two weeks and looking at what I have left after paying the bills is very demorializing. It is especially demorializing when I know my next check goes to the mortgage.....I let myself think way to far ahead instead of just living in the moment. I've only stopped spending so much on booze a little over a month ago. I can't expect to start seeing the results of that so soon. I need to be more patiant. My physical and mental health is already making progress. Only a matter of time until my financial situation starts getting better.

I thank you for sharing about AA. I'm not working the program but i'm also not against trying it. Just haven't decided to take the plunge yet.
ruch is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:10 AM.