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Has my time has come to get sober? Hi everyone. I am a 38-year-old man and have a problem. I will be honest about my situation and hopefully some of you guys can give me some advice and support. I am not sure if I am an alcoholic or just someone who drinks too much? I have been a drinker since I was about 20 years old. Typical drinking for me would be a bottle of wine on a night in and five or six pints of beer/cider on a night out. I drink almost every night. I never drink during the day and never crave drink. It's more of a habit I've developed. Last week I had a dry day because it was raining and I couldn't be bothered to go out to buy alcohol. I very rarely touch spirits and have never woken up needing a drink or anything like that. Last September I had a blood test which showed raised liver enzymes. My doctor told me not to worry too much but to try and cut down my drinking. I haven't taken his advice other than not drinking at lunchtime (I have stopped going to the pub with my workmates at lunch). I've been to much of a coward to have another test which I know is stupid and really don't know where to go in my situation. If I'm honest I'd like to think I could really cut down on my drinking so I can still enjoy a glass or two of wine a few times a week but I don't know if I could do it. Should I stop completely? Is my liver likely to be permanently damaged? I really don't know what to do. Thank you. |
Only you can decide if you have a problem. Are you drinking more than you like to? Try to go for one month without drinking. If you can do that then reasses your alcohol habbits. If you cant go one month - then think about that as well. If your doctor doesn't think you've damaged yourself then you probably haven't. It's all up to you though. If you think you need to stop then you do. If you think you can handle your life as it is - look up moderation management on google. If you're having trouble cutting down, but aren't dependant on alcohol then that might help. Bottom line - you found SR for a reason. |
Good questions, York. I hope you find the answers sooner than later. Keep coming back. |
York, I subscribe to the philosophy that if you are thinking you have a problem then you probably do. If you're thinking you have a problem and then posting here then I would say more than likely you do. However, only you can decide if you have a problem, nobody can do it for you. As to your liver, nobody here's a doctor so I would discuss that with him. Good luck, John |
Yorkshireman, that is me perfectly, except the drinking during lunch time, :). I'm more like a bottle and a half of red and when I do go out it is about 4 pints cause otherwise I might be way over the limit rather than just mostly over the limit, once again :). I do have my weekend blackout moments about once every week or two. There is no doubt I have a problem and my friend if your liver enzymes are raised then you are damaging your liver. Chance of cancer for drinkers is much higher. Aside from all of that let me ask you this? Can you leave it? Are you compelled to pour wine at 5pm everyday? Is the thought of leaving it forever down right scary to you? |
I don't think I'm compelled to pour wine everyday no, more like force of habit. I have spent a long time trying to work out exactly what my relationship with alcohol is exactly and I'm no nearer finding out. I suppose one simple way of finding out would be to not go out and buy any wine and stay in and try and drink tea? I think the bigger issue, for me personally, is that I really do love wine and real ale. I don't drink any old rubbish and love all the flavours and different brews. That is what I would miss. I just want to be able to drink in moderation and enjoy the taste and the social side of drinking. |
Welcome to SR yorkshireman! Hope you find the answers you seek. |
York, you're right there! ...I have stopped going to the pub with my workmates at lunch... ...I really don't know what to do. york, you've already made some adjustments! Good for you! Keep it up! Routine is a tough one to change. It will take some creative restructuring, on your part. Shop at a different stores. Take a different route home from work. Change your routine just to give you some breathing room. Walk at night. When I exercised I felt like a hypocrite because I knew I was going to drink later. Exercising helped me to see how foolish I was. Grab all those little things that may help you. Not going for alcohol on that rainy day was amazing to read. I was never able to do that. I had my routine down pat. I would buy beer every day. I kept two days worth in the fridge. Again, good for you! You do have enough will-power to do it. All you need is support and this place wonderful people to see you through. Keep posting, keep reading (gather all the ammunition you can) for change comes in an instant and you're right there. Prayers |
As posted you are the one to decide if your drinking is out of control. To assess drinking the CAGE evaluation may help. Cut back-to control your drinking Angry/annoyed when others mention you may be drinking to much Guilty about your drinking Eye opener neede in the morning to get you going. Answer yes to any of this may indicate you have a problem with drinking. As for your liver. I was in liver failure from drinking. I stopped drinking and my liver enzymes improved but I have permenant damage to the liver and heart. My first abnormal liver enzyme result was 10yrs ago. I cont. to drink until I caused permenant damage. Hope this helps even a little. LOL E. |
Welcome to SR... Keep posting, there is much support and useful information here... |
Welcome ...:wave: Let's get some facts out here so you can decide what if any steps to take Progression of Alcoholism Progression Of Alcoholism Here's how alcoholism typically progresses: SOCIAL DRINKERS — Most Americans are characterized as social drinkers. Statistics indicate, however, that one of every 16 drinkers will become alcoholic. WARNING SIGNS — The individual begins to drink more frequently and more than his associates. He drinks for confidence or to tolerate or escape problems. No party or other occasion is complete without a couple of drinks. EARLY ALCOHOLISM — With increasing frequency, the individual drinks too much. "Blackouts," or temporary amnesia, occur during or following drinking episodes. He drinks more rapidly than others, sneaks drinks and in other ways conceals the quantity that he drinks. He resents any reference to his drinking habits. BASIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual begins to lose control as to the time, place and amount of his drinking. He gets drunk unintentionally. He hides and protects his liquor supply. He drinks to overcome the hangover from his prior drinking. He tries new patterns of drinking as to time and place of drinking. He attempts cures by moving to new locations or by changing his drinking companions. CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual becomes a loner in his drinking. He develops alibis, excuses and rationalizations to cover up or explain his drinking. Personality and behavior changes occur that affect all relationships — family, employment, community. Extended binges, physical tremors, hallucinations and delirium, complete rejection of social reality, malnutrition with accompanying illness and disease and early death all occur as chronic alcoholism progresses. Source: American Medical Association |
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Give yourself a chance to find out... I've seen some really good replies to you. :rotate: I agree with - "why don't you try to stop drinking for 30 days and see how you're doing?" A regular person can take it or leave it. I first heard when I got sober that regular people don't end up in meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and they certainly don't question if they have a drinking problem. You might just be a heavy drinker. Still, if it has affected your liver, that is beyond normal drinking. It's good news that it's not that bad yet, if you continue, the liver will continue to be damaged more. I wouldn't play Russian Roulette to see if it's any worse. The mere fact that you're afraid to get another test is another eye-opener. It's said that if alcohol affects any of these places in your life - health, work, family, then you might have a problem. A person doesn't have to be a skid-row drunk to have a problem. I didn't go down that low yet, and I questioned whether I was an alcoholic long into my sobriety. I just kept going to meetings anyway cause I now see that it affected many areas of my life and i just didn't see it til I went to AA for awhile. I have some time now and see the benefits of being sober and becoming just an all around better person in many areas. I wish you all good things. Clarity of mind, health and sobriety! :cheer |
Try not to drink anything at all for 30 days. If you think about it a lot during those 30 days then you are most likely an alcoholic. People who are not alcoholic do not spend any time at all wondering if they are. (Like someone else said) If drinking is causing ANY problems in your life, then stop drinking. (especially health problems) If you have difficulty not stopping drinking, get support in AA, here, etc.etc.etc. Good luck! |
Carol, Thanks for that info. I'm shocked to know that I was a chronic drinker. I knew I had a problem but didn't realize I was the worst of the categories! |
Hi! Hi Yorkshireman, I just joined this site today. Some similarities - I am 38, love my wine, nightly drinking habit and I asked myself a very similar question back in March but I think I already knew the answer. Since then I have been struggling to get 30 days alcohol free under my belt (as this is what a lot of people recommend to start with) but with the emphasis on the word struggled. This has only emphasised for me more that I do have a problem, one that has accelerated rapidly over the last three years or so I think mainly due to balancing career issues and the strains of rearing a young family. I feel I am somewhere in between early and basic alcoholism going by the definitions that CarolD has provided (which by the way are about the best I have come across so thanks Carol!). The most I have managed to date is 14 days but I am on Day 10 AF again today and for me this is it. I think as others here have said, if you are asking the question..then possibly yes there is a problem..perhaps not as bad as others but it can escalate rapidly and it is good to be aware of the situation now and try doing something about it. Best Wishes, Bandit |
Thanks for the support guys. I started my 30 days yesterday and have completed Day One without any mishaps. One day at a time... Do you think it's possible to be a social drinker in the future if you have had a problem in the past? |
I'd been trying to control my drinking since late last year and always ended up drinking too much. I've decided that I cannot drink "socially" as it always gets out of control and end up feeling awful the next day. I don't think I'll ever be able to drink socially or moderately again and it's best for me to never drink anything again. I fit all the criteria for alcoholism and I know in my heart that I can never drink again, which is ok by me. :ghug3 |
Hi Yorkshire man, I hope what you suggest - that I can drink moderately or socially again sometime..but at this stage for me to be struggling on a 30 day stretch is not a good sign. I will do my 30 days before I even think about it. Least - love your signature..would rather live in a van with my dogs..feel exactly the same way..but many do not understand that Bandit |
It's been a long time and many failed attempts at quitting drinking since I was last on this message board but I thought I'd pop in and tell you all about how my life has changed. I decided to go to the doctors after a heavy Easter which resulted in the first ever instance of me losing control of my bladder after a day drinking. After finally having another blood test in April 2010 I discovered the enzymes were still raised, though not significantly different readings to the first test. I last drank alcohol on April 18th 2010 and I feel great. The first few days were awful. Sleepless, restless, sweating, zits! Then gradually I started to feel well. I didn't know I felt ill before until I started feeling healthy. I can confidently say I no longer drink. I go to the pub as often as I ever did and still go to gigs but I drink water, tea or soda. I sometimes drink alcohol free beer. I admit I miss a nice ale or wine but I am so focussed on recovery that it is never more than a fleeting thought. I am losing weight. Women are taking an interest in me again and my friends are proud and supportive of what I'm doing. Some are even taking a long look at their own drinking habits. Sorry if this sounds like a self congratulatory rant but it is! I've done it, I've quit the evil that is booze. My message is that it can be conquered. It just needs will and conviction. I'm happy! |
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