Bottoms...Part 87
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Hi....I will say no to buying a husband gyps.....just not my thing anymore....and arghhhhhhh must be something in the air, one of my friends and I just recieved "unwanted attention" of course me being me...don't know what to do when someone from my homegroup asks for my number in front of people and I really do NOT want to go out with him...Hes a nice old man, but doesn't even make the brother or dad test...more like a distant, sorta ok cousin and way too old for me....so he has my number....****! I hate this stuff.
So....can I pay one of you to field my phone calls?
So....can I pay one of you to field my phone calls?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Flyby visit-hi to all the idiots!
Nands-you have got to just say NO! No one has the right to your phone number if you don't want to give it.It may have been manipulative of him to ask you in front of people-but next time maybe say something like 'I don't feel comfortable giving out my number to people as a rule'....you don't owe this man anything and if you're not interested-then saying no is okay! He put himself in a potentially embarassing position by asking you in a crowd-but that's not your responsibility.
I'm not going off at you btw-just annoyed on your behalf really that you were put in such an uncomfortable spot.
Nands-you have got to just say NO! No one has the right to your phone number if you don't want to give it.It may have been manipulative of him to ask you in front of people-but next time maybe say something like 'I don't feel comfortable giving out my number to people as a rule'....you don't owe this man anything and if you're not interested-then saying no is okay! He put himself in a potentially embarassing position by asking you in a crowd-but that's not your responsibility.
I'm not going off at you btw-just annoyed on your behalf really that you were put in such an uncomfortable spot.
in that situation I'd always get their number, not give them yours Nands.
Saves embarrassment for you both there and then and keeps you with the upper hand, I guess
still have to tell them NO later tho LOL
D
Saves embarrassment for you both there and then and keeps you with the upper hand, I guess
still have to tell them NO later tho LOL
D
Nands..
A man did that to me recently..in front of the whole group..I said.."I'm sorry
but I do not give my number to gentlemen in the program."
(He was an out of towner) This wasn't a lie..as I haven't been giving
it..and I can change my mind at any time..it was none of his business.
I took it as a compliment..but didn't want the pressure..
A man did that to me recently..in front of the whole group..I said.."I'm sorry
but I do not give my number to gentlemen in the program."
(He was an out of towner) This wasn't a lie..as I haven't been giving
it..and I can change my mind at any time..it was none of his business.
I took it as a compliment..but didn't want the pressure..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I guess I want to be carful about how i do this. To say I don't date or I don't give my number to men in the program would be a lie that they will probably find out and be hurt about later....would like a more honest but gentle answer.
But don't worry....he's the first guy to ask for my phone number in 15 years....I gave mine to the other guy friend. So don't expect to have to practice alot.
I wish the men would tell me...is it embarrasing or harsh to just say no thank you if they ask for your number? then ask a qeustion to keep the conversation going in a pleasant direction?
I'm tired and dgoing to bed....i'm sure frosty will know the answer to my qestin when he reutrns.
Nite nite.
But don't worry....he's the first guy to ask for my phone number in 15 years....I gave mine to the other guy friend. So don't expect to have to practice alot.
I wish the men would tell me...is it embarrasing or harsh to just say no thank you if they ask for your number? then ask a qeustion to keep the conversation going in a pleasant direction?
I'm tired and dgoing to bed....i'm sure frosty will know the answer to my qestin when he reutrns.
Nite nite.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
I can't stay but I need to say this-why do women seem to think it's bad to say no?Seriously!
Men do it all the time but we seem to be so frightened of offending them at the expense of our privacy, dignity, security?
We don't owe them anything!
It's okay to say no.Truly.
I guess it's a hard lesson I learned after a lot of abuse-so it bothers me to see people doing it.
Just don't give them that much power.They don't deserve it.
I'm going now before I make a long boring speech-LOL
Nite
Julesxox
Men do it all the time but we seem to be so frightened of offending them at the expense of our privacy, dignity, security?
We don't owe them anything!
It's okay to say no.Truly.
I guess it's a hard lesson I learned after a lot of abuse-so it bothers me to see people doing it.
Just don't give them that much power.They don't deserve it.
I'm going now before I make a long boring speech-LOL
Nite
Julesxox
well I deserve it but I digress
seriously - all jokes aside* Nands......
I'm with Jules and IO - it's never nice to feel rejected (I hear* ) but you owe nobody anything in these situations (beyond maybe being polite, if you feel like it)
it's that simple IMO
D
*ok - one joke.
seriously - all jokes aside* Nands......
I'm with Jules and IO - it's never nice to feel rejected (I hear* ) but you owe nobody anything in these situations (beyond maybe being polite, if you feel like it)
it's that simple IMO
D
*ok - one joke.
No, really, I was embarrassed as he did it in front of everyone. That was not
cool. At all. My face was red, and my ear tips were getting there..and when
that happens..look out! I simply spun on my heel and said
nothankyouidontacceptcallsfromgentlemnintheprogram
I got high fives later from a couple of GF's and guy friends for the way
I handled it..but it was subconcious. Self protective ...not a bad thing.
And..you don't need some hounddog calling you and bothering you with
smooth small talk...really....
cool. At all. My face was red, and my ear tips were getting there..and when
that happens..look out! I simply spun on my heel and said
nothankyouidontacceptcallsfromgentlemnintheprogram
I got high fives later from a couple of GF's and guy friends for the way
I handled it..but it was subconcious. Self protective ...not a bad thing.
And..you don't need some hounddog calling you and bothering you with
smooth small talk...really....
Ananda~I really get what you are talking about. I completely agree with IO, Dee, Jules...but what I think in my head doesn't always translate to what comes out of my mouth. Someone recently asked me out---first time in a long time as drinking is my "invisible potion" (as in I drink and then I am invisible). I was only a few weeks sober at the time and I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. Looking like an idiot. In public. This guy had already asked me what I was doing for the evening. Instead of keeping it simple and walking away, I bumbled through this long-winded speech which basically amounted to "Nothing much." He told me he loves to go drinking. Then he asked me to dinner. I then bumbled about some more and told him I "have plans". Except I had just told him I didn't have plans. LOL
The good news? I confused him so much that I had time to make a getaway before things got any worse. The bad news? Walked away, kicking myself for being so afraid of hurting this poor guy's feelings. I have to coach myself all the time. I will probably never see him again. Not the same as being at a meeting, I know. But still. It is OK to say no. Nice and simple. I'm gonna try it out sometime.
The good news? I confused him so much that I had time to make a getaway before things got any worse. The bad news? Walked away, kicking myself for being so afraid of hurting this poor guy's feelings. I have to coach myself all the time. I will probably never see him again. Not the same as being at a meeting, I know. But still. It is OK to say no. Nice and simple. I'm gonna try it out sometime.
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