Bamboozle

Had a craptastic day today. I really want to drink, but I'm not going to.


I really want a cigarette (more than booze, actually), but I'm not going to buy a pack. Damn it, cigarettes are bad for the liver and pancreas, too!


I know people say to visualize taking that drink from steps A - Z and to realize how badly I'll feel the next day, but that usually doesn't work for me. I try to justify slipping by saying "truck it...I'm depressed...I don't give a crap...screw that slide show." So, here's what I'm doing now. I imagine the long-term damage I'm doing inside. I know if I drink, I'm pickling my heart, pancreas, liver, arteries, kidneys, stomach, esophagus...did I leave anything out? I scream out in my mind, "do you really want to end up in the hospital? Are you trying to kill yourself? Stop being an idiot!" It's working today. Here's to hoping this works every day. I'm hungry. I'm going to get something to eat here soon.

angie9

hey bamboozle Im having a crap day too so I know how ya feel but you know as I know that the drink for a slit second might be the answer it aint coz then we get the guilt and the hangover and the back to square one again so swear throw something do it just dont pick up that cunning baffling and powerful thing we call alcohol up ok

ambush0212

Thanks thanks thanks bam for sharing. i've been struggling myself this weekend--it being my first one sober. I'm on Day 6, just hours from Day 7 and I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one feeling the fire. I'm glad you dropped in to post this instead of picking up and I'm glad i was here to read it instead of picking up.Here's to another day.

Bamboozle

Hang in there, everyone. Posting at SR helps me A LOT!!!!!!! Have a good night.

bostonluv

Been there bamboozle. Good for you playing a different kind of tape. Whatever it takes to get through the moment. It's just a feeling, it's just a moment, it's not forever, blah blah But it's true, eh? Working the NO muscle hurts.........



- Kathleen

bugsworth

Bamboozle....Stay strong in the face of adversity it is a powerful motivator!

You speak of "thinking the drink through" a powerful tool...one which has saved my a$$ a few times. Don't let the addictive voice have it's way...you are in control, soon it will know this and start to shut down. Keep strong!

deezaldog

My story I hope will help. I was in liver failure, kidney failure and major jaundice. My I had no idea I was that bad. Make it 6 mo not drinking to get on transplant list for a liver. 2mo later doing well so I was taken off the list. *****! lets celebrate. How stupid can I get? Less that 2 mo back in hospital, I was having a heart attack and didnt know it-it was from drinking again. Today 16mo sober I take 3 meds every day for abuse on my body from alcohol. I have permenant heart damage, enlarged liver and decreased kidney function. I am only 49yo. Unable to take many meds, like for the great change of life, because my liver cannot process the med.
Think about that the next time you think of a drink, it could be you. I know it is hard for you right now, but it is only right now. It will pass. You are doing the right thing by acknowledging instead of using. I hope you great success today and every 24hrs.
Wow! I hope that wasnt harsh but I had to get that off my mind. I don't want you to end up like I have. Just don't drink Now. LOL

CarolD

Something I learned in AA....

Be aware of H.A.L.T.
Don't allow yourself to stay
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

At least 2 of these elements were in plsce
each time I returned to drinking...

Recovery Rocks!

Bamboozle

No, that wasn't harsh at all. Thank you for sharing your story.

Bamboozle

Carol, about halfway through typing my rant I realized I hadn't had anything to eat in about 7 hours. I fixed that in a hurry.

Rella927

Bamboozle

Yup uh huh I love what Carol posted (As always) H.A.L.T that goes for us silly little codies too! And it has worked for me!

Stay strong and know we are here for you!! you are doing great!!

"This too shall pass"

dancinggirl

Keep posting....I had an "ahhh, but i WAAANNNT to!" moment this weekend...posted here...got so many wonderful responses....and it passed. It will always pass, as long as we don't give in. Thinking of you!

SlvrMag

I'm not an alcoholic and I don't understand something; does being hungry make one want to drink? If so, how and why? I can see the tired, angry and lonely...but hungry??

bostonluv

Oh yeah...hungry for me. Hunger is a feeling of emptiness and when I feel that way I immediately crave alcohol to fill up the empty space. Weird huh? Good question.

SlvrMag

Thank You! Weird yes, but it makes total sense to me!

Aysha

Hunger for me ..especially the past few days is a result of me being in a **** mood too. I am emotionally eating. I have been tired..angry..A little lonely. All those for me are results of not feeling good. Not mentally or emotionally. That usually leads to using in some cases.
But I will stick with eating. No using here.
I also woke up earlier today. Not an hour before work. And I feel good already.

HopeTo180

Bam,
I have found that you should never skip a meal during the fight. Make them smaller or healthier but never skip them. Eating is a natural way to relax. Sometimes I'll have ice cream instead of a meal. The key to our emotions is through our stomach. I look forward to each meal to keep my emotions in check. Congrats on "staying the course"! Prayers

SelfSeeking

Yes! And on the flip side, when I get hungry (I am a really bad meal skipper and do it often, although am working on it), I become grouchy... tired... I have trouble concentrating and realizing why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. I get anxious. Drinking is the simplest way to stop feeling those things. And if I go TOO too long without food, it seems too complicated to fix myself anything to eat when I do think about it. Lots easier to open a bottle.

No glucose make brain ANGRY! lol

Serenidad

Good that you are going to eat! Good that you are not going to drink! REMEMBER: No major changes in the first year! Unless you have a year of sobriety, I DON'T recommend quitting smoking!

Good Luck!

Bamboozle

Jen, thanks, but smoking is something that I can take or leave. It never really stuck. I last had a cig about three weeks ago. If I can't calm down I only have one so I don't drink. Good thing that doesn't happen very often.