PrincessJ

Hi. I am addicted to vicodin. And I want to STOP! But, don't know how! I have 18 left, to last me till Sept. 2. I overtake them BIG TIME! I take a LOT more then I should per day! And I am so scared!

I can't go to my doctor. He told me that if I over take them, he will drop me as a patient! I live in a VERY small town and don't have transpertation to get to a bigger city.

I know what it's like to have withdrawals... been there, done that. and I am so scared! I throw up, have sever diarrah, the shakes, and my heart rate is around 120. I am a single mom of two boys who really need me! And these pills have taken over my life!

If anyone could give me some advice on what to do or just talk to me... I have been praying to GOD for help and I know he is trying to help me, I just can't figure out how yet!

What I want to do is wean myself off, but, with only 18 left I don't know how to do it. I know I will still have some withdrawals, but, hopefully they won't be as bad as if I went cold turkey.

I have a rare cyst in my lower back, S2. It's called a tarlov cyst and there are only about 5 docs in the world who will operate on them. I had surgery Feb 5, 2008. I have been taking vicodin or percocets for about 4 years now. I live in a small town and couldn't find a doc who knew what was wrong with me. They told me that I was addicted to pain meds and that it was all in my head. and beings I live in a small town, word got out that I am an addict to pain meds. and all of this was before surgery!

i know, I'm probably not making much since, but, right now I am SCARED! I just want off the pain meds and don't know how to do it or what to do! I have tried looking on the net and found some ok sites, but, I need support, too.

PLEASE, if anyone would like to chat with me, I would surely appreciate it!
Thank you for letting me vent and I really hope to hear from someone!

Thank you!!! I will check on here off and on today and tomorrow.
PrincessJ

Lenina

Princess,

Welcome! I'm glad you came here. There's lots of support and experience to be had.

Love,

Lenina

Aysha

WishIWasNormal

Hi. I am addicted to vicodin. And I want to STOP! But, don't know how! I have 18 left, to last me till Sept. 2. I overtake them BIG TIME! I take a LOT more then I should per day! And I am so scared!

[COLOR="SeaGreen"]I used to have a monthly RX for Norco 10/325 which has even more oxycodone than vicodin and what I did for years was abuse them for the first ten days and then start cutting back. When they ran out, I just suffered until they could be refilled again. It was better to suffer a short while and then get another legal refill than to call the Dr or Pharmacy and whine and be totally cut off.[/COLOR]

Anna

Hi,

I am sorry you are in this situation and I can imagine how scary it is.

Personally, I think it's unfair that a dr would not help you advice for withdrawing, if you tell him that you are serious and know you've made a mistake. I also think it's wrong for word to get out that you are addicted to pain pills. I think it's time to move to another dr, no matter what the distance.

I do understand that this will be hard for you, but you can get through it. Focus on your goal and stick with it.

PrincessJ

Hi. I was just wondering do you still take the Norco? If not ~ how did you get off of them? I am so scared and don't know what to do... I'm tired of living my life around pain pills. I know I may need a dose or two a day because of the pain that I still have, but, I don't have the will power to take just what I am suppose to. I try, but, always end up taking more and more... If you have any suggestions, that would be great!
Thanks for writing me!
PrincessJ

kj3880

Hi.
I was addicted to pain meds after a series of surgeries. I'm a single mom, too.
I tried to kick cold-turkey. Couldn't do it.
I tried on my own to taper off them about 100 times. Couldn't do it.
Finally, I went to NA meetings and got some real help. I went to an addictionologist and enrolled in Out-Patient Detox treatment. My wonderful doctor put me on a slow suboxone taper. Finally, I could live a normal life again. No more pill-counting, docto-shopping, hoarding, buying them in other ways...etc..
I follow his advice to the letter. Suboxone gave me the chance to live without being high and to rebuild a normal life. Thank God for NA and for my doctor. He was willing to see me the day after I called him. And he sees me once a month and we talk for a whole hour. He is a really great doctor, really understanding. Never makes me feel like a loser because I got addicted to pain meds. That is so important, because I wanted someone to understand, not judge me. I paid privately to see him, didn't use my insurance.
I go to a lot of NA meetings. I now have almost 5 months off of the pain pills and I am so proud of that. I also have a group of supportive NA members that I can hang out with and call anytime I want, so my problem isn't a secret from everyone the way it was.
So that's what I suggest you do, get an addictionologist and go to NA. Good Luck, pm me anytime to talk!
KJ

WishIWasNormal

[B]I'm sorry to say that I still have a full refill in the refrigerator "just in case". I just wanted to be clean/sober and was too weak to do it without a "backup". Since I never screwed it up by asking for an early refill, I didn't cause myself any problems.I'm still too weak to do it alone. Sorry[/B]

PrincessJ

Thank you so much for writing me. I live in a VERY small town and we don't have an addictionologist here in town! Believe me, I have tried! I even went to the hospital a couple of months ago to see if they would admit me and help me. They didn't do anything for me. The er doc told me that I would be fine and it's not life threatening to go cold turkey off the vicodin! I got mad and basicly told her to f off! Then I just got up and walked out of the er! I know, that was wrong of me, but, I was trying to get help and they wouldn't do anything for me! I even told the er doc that I was trying to better myself and that all the doctors do is give out pain meds like candy and when you want off of them, they don't do anything about it! All they do is tell you you will be fine. She just looked at me like I was crazy and said that they could give me valium to help! I told her i was already on valium and that it didn't help me through withdrawals!
I honestly don't know what to do! I am so scared to do this on my own! As you said, I have tried it 100 times or more and I just don't have the will power! I am so scared to go through withdrawals! they suck and I am scared for myself as well. I can't keep ANYTHING in me! And I am scared I will get dehydrated. And I have my two kids to take care of as well. And school is starting in 9 days. How am I going to go school shopping? How am I going to register them? How am I going to do ANYTHING???

Do you know how long withdrawals last?

Oh! Before I had surgery I tried suboxone, but, it didnt help! I still hurt all the time and it made me so very tired! When I told my doc it didn't help, he said that I have legitament pain and put me back on pain meds. But, as I said, tht was before surgery. Maybe now it would help. But, as I said before I am scared to talk to him about it. He told me if I ran out of pain med early he would drop me as a patient! And he is the ONLY doctor in town who can precribe subonxone. So now what? Do I tell him? Also, I'm stil not released to go back to work and I can't afford suboxone right now! It is so expensive!

I'm just so scared!

I tried to pm you, but, it wouldn't let me! I'm new to all of this, so, hopefully I figure out this site soon! =)

But, I want to thank you for the encouraging words! I hope to hear back from you soon!
PrincessJ

PrincessJ

How long have you been clean? How did you do it? By yourself? Or did you get help from a doctor?

This time around (after surgery) I haven't asked for an early refill and I'm not going to do it! I really want to get off these things! The only thing that I'm worried about is when I do get off of them, what if I still need them for pain? I know that I still have pain from surgery, but, I know that I have no will power and will keep over taking them!

The type of surgery I had takes 6 mnths to a year to heal. And The doc who did my surgery told me that my cyst was one of the worst he has seen and that it will take me a year to two years to heal! That really sux! And to top it off I have several more cysts and so sooner or later I will have to have surgery again. The only reason he didn't remove the other cysts is they were too small and dangerous to get to....

Well, I hope the best for you! I will say a prayer or two for you! I hope that you stay clean and sober! I know you can do it! It's hard and it sucks, but, we have to have faith and know that we are not alone!

Hope to hear back from you!
PrincessJ

Anna

Princess,

I don't think anyone here can predict how difficult your withdrawls will be.

The fact that the ER drs said you would be okay is a good thing for you. Take that in and believe that you will be able to get through it. No, it won't be easy and it will be painful. I had withdrawls from alcohol and I know it was really unpleasant and I never want to do it again.

Gatorade is really good for preventing dehydration. You will be able to do this!

butterfly19

Princess,

Hi! First of all I just want to say that I feel your desperation, and I've been there before. To tell you a little about myself, I have been addicted to opiates for 5 years. I, too, was started on them for health problems. I started abusing them due to other reasons that I'm now sorting out in therapy. Currently I'm on suboxone as well, and it has been a life-saver for me. I am also from a small town (one stop light--really)! I travel 2 hours once a week to see my psychiatrist who is an addiction specialist. I get my suboxone script weekly and have weekly drug tests. About once a month, I see a therapist there. I don't have insurance that pays for mental health, so I've been fortunate that my mother has been paying for my treatment. One day, when I'm off this stuff for good, I will pay her back.

So, I think you should definitely tell your doctor. I work in the healthcare field. I've treated my own patients addictions before. Not everyone is as uncaring as the ER doctor you encountered. However, I feel for you, b/c my own doctor cut me off from my script. But that was b/c I had went back on my word to him and did some illegal things, and it had to do with him knowing I work in the medical field. He will personally never treat me as his patient again. Initially, I was devastated. But now I know there are doctors like the one I go to now, who are caring and know that addiction happens to anyone and everyone. From a small-town single mom to nurses, doctors, and lawyers. This is a condition that does not discriminate. And you should not be discriminated against either!!!

Anyway, you know you need help and are admitting it. Perhaps, you would have family or friends who would be willing to help you out with driving to another larger town if your doctor won't treat you. As for cost, if you're a single-mom unable to work, perhaps, you can get assistance like a medical card or temporary disability. It never hurts to check these options out.

Also, if you have health problems and you aren't going to be able to live without pain medication, you may need to be referred to a pain specialist. You would, of course, still be on narcotics, but you would be closely monitored as to how many you take. However, if you think you can live without the pain meds and function, I suggest you get off of them totally. I can't tell you if you can taper or not. I can tell you that 2 years ago my doctor tried to taper me and it did not work at all. I was soon substituting with a less potent narcotic, and doing anything/everything to get more.

Getting clean and sober isn't going to happen overnight. Prayer is wonderful, but always remember that God wants you to take action toward your goals. It is then that He will help guide you to it. There is no magical cure. It takes a lot of work, but I think you sound like your ready to start the battle. Good luck sweetie! You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

Love,

butterfly19

p.s.: Here is a website that helps you find addiction specialists and doctors who prescribe suboxone in your area: Buprenorphine (Suboxone Subutex) treatment and opioid addiction resources from The National Alliance of Advocates for Buprenorphine Treatment - NAABT - Home page

:ghug3

jy9098

Hi Princess, I am new to the site, and new to the life of not taking vicoden, percocet, or whatever other pain pill I could get my hands on. I did this for almost 5 years after a car accident.

I have tired to quit several times and take my life back, but I just couldn't. Like you I have severe withdraws that make taking care of my 3 small children impossible, and they don't understand that mommy can't get out of bed today because she has no pain pills. If I went 24 hours without taking pills I would have severe diarrhea, stomach cramps, sweats, and the most terrible pain that you could imagine. (must worse than tha pain that put me on these pills to begin with).

Last Sunday I decided that I wanted to quit, and i did a lot of research. I thought about taking the methadone route, but after research I decided that wasn't right for me. You have to go and pick your dose dose up everyday, and be in a clinic with a lot of people around. I didn't want to do that because I do have a life, I have kids, and just to throw a bone in there I am a nurse, and I didn't want to tkae the chance of being recognized by one of my patients. After much research I decided to talk to a doctor about Suboxone. I went to suboxone's website and got a list of doctors in my area that can write scripts for the drug and started making phone calls. I found a doctor to take me and I got in on Wednesday.

I went in the office and told the doctor everything, was totally honost with him. You have to go to the office in withdraw or the medication will not work right. In the office he started giving me the medication until I started to feel better so he could get my dose right. Let me tell you something, if you are serious, and want a physically pain and symptom free withdraw this is the way to go. After taking the medication I felt good. Not high good like the percs would make me feel, but just good, no pain, diarrhea, sweats, nothing, just me. I will say if you do go get these pills take a few days off work or whatever to get used to them, but by Friday I was used to it and I felt normal.When I woke up Friday morning I felt so good, and had the best day with my kids, and had no cravings for any pills.Today is Sunday, and still no cravings. i take my suboxone at about 6 PM and I am good for 24 hours most of the time, and if for some reason I need more (which 1 day I did) I have it. I got a script for a whole month.

The first 2 days of this was rough, I'm not gonna lie, but not physically-mentally. I enjoyed my percs and vics and the thought of giving something you like that much up for good is scary and it made me anxious, but I also got a very low dose of xanex to help me through that. If you are serious about this please look into suboxone. I will say it does work if your ready to have your life back and enjoy your babies! If you need anyone to talk to I will be happy to anytime to give you advice or to just talk. I know i'm not the best person in the world to take advise from because I am just newly sober, but I am going throug the same thing and it helps to talk. Thats why I'm in this website and this post is so long.(lol)

Good luck to you and I hope this helped.