Feeling Worthless and sad
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Feeling Worthless and sad
Sorry if this is too long, as I am typically a women of few words.
Feeling Worthess because, I quit my job. For the following reasons:
1. I have a bachelors degree, graduated with honors, yet no benefits
2. I am not well and a full day work wipes me out.
3. Wanted time to work out more
4. Wanted more time with my family
5. Looking for a clerical telecommuter job, I know they are out there but I cant find them.
6. Many days I only have 4-5 hours that I feel well enough to accomplish all I need to.
Sad for selfish resons:
1. My youngest just started High School. She is 14 and already has the boys flocking around. She's 5'10 and as pretty as can be.
2. My oldest just had a baby - they live in Florida and I wont be able to see him again until Christmas.
3. None of my 4 teens living at home seem to need me very much anymore. That really makes me sad.
4. I want to have energy from sunrise to sunset, and thats not happening.
5. I am sad because when all the kids are gone, what will I do, what will my husband and I have in common.
I could go on all day, but I will spare you all that.
Feeling Worthess because, I quit my job. For the following reasons:
1. I have a bachelors degree, graduated with honors, yet no benefits
2. I am not well and a full day work wipes me out.
3. Wanted time to work out more
4. Wanted more time with my family
5. Looking for a clerical telecommuter job, I know they are out there but I cant find them.
6. Many days I only have 4-5 hours that I feel well enough to accomplish all I need to.
Sad for selfish resons:
1. My youngest just started High School. She is 14 and already has the boys flocking around. She's 5'10 and as pretty as can be.
2. My oldest just had a baby - they live in Florida and I wont be able to see him again until Christmas.
3. None of my 4 teens living at home seem to need me very much anymore. That really makes me sad.
4. I want to have energy from sunrise to sunset, and thats not happening.
5. I am sad because when all the kids are gone, what will I do, what will my husband and I have in common.
I could go on all day, but I will spare you all that.
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
So sorry you are feeling this way TM. I can relate because my only son starts kindergarten and I am feeling pretty useless right now, but this thread isn't about me. I hope you can find something working from home. I am sure there are plenty of jobs, but finding the legit work at home jobs can prove a challenge. You are still important to your children by the way. I am soon to turn 42 years old and I don't know what I would do without my Mom. She and I have been very close my entire growing up. Kids do not outgrow their moms, but we moms have to find ourselves after our roles change.
As far as the husband part goes I understand. Its hard to define a relationship as husband and wife after its been Mommy, Daddy, and kids for so long, but many do accomplish this. I guess its in how bad we want to do this and I want to really bad. I was married to my husband 12 years before we had our son enter our life and we worried about that. I now have a hard time remembering life with my husband before son. Life is interesting huh?
I hope you get a lot of encouragement from the people here on SR because I know how much you have given to others on this site. You are an inspiration and this time will pass. You may even find you look to the future with hope instead of time gone by and if you do let me know how you do that? LOL! I can't look at my son's baby pictures without feeling sad.
Hugs and prayers to you TM!! :ghug3
As far as the husband part goes I understand. Its hard to define a relationship as husband and wife after its been Mommy, Daddy, and kids for so long, but many do accomplish this. I guess its in how bad we want to do this and I want to really bad. I was married to my husband 12 years before we had our son enter our life and we worried about that. I now have a hard time remembering life with my husband before son. Life is interesting huh?
I hope you get a lot of encouragement from the people here on SR because I know how much you have given to others on this site. You are an inspiration and this time will pass. You may even find you look to the future with hope instead of time gone by and if you do let me know how you do that? LOL! I can't look at my son's baby pictures without feeling sad.
Hugs and prayers to you TM!! :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: England
Posts: 1,981
I remember my mother feeling the same way.
Look at it as a new chapter in yor life. Redescover who you really are and what you want from life.
Talk to your husband he may feel the same as you?
Have you seen a Dr about the tiredness?
Look at it as a new chapter in yor life. Redescover who you really are and what you want from life.
Talk to your husband he may feel the same as you?
Have you seen a Dr about the tiredness?
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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I get that way sometimes.
But all of it is "life on life's terms".
Looking at everything you wrote though, there's nothing there that signals a dire emergency.
You are doing a good job of listing some positives & negatives, now make some plans about how you can change the things you NEED to change and live with the rest of them, maybe?
But all of it is "life on life's terms".
Looking at everything you wrote though, there's nothing there that signals a dire emergency.
You are doing a good job of listing some positives & negatives, now make some plans about how you can change the things you NEED to change and live with the rest of them, maybe?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Originally Posted by Pixy1 
I remember my mother feeling the same way.
Look at it as a new chapter in yor life. Redescover who you really are and what you want from life.
Talk to your husband he may feel the same as you?
Have you seen a Dr about the tiredness?
Look at it as a new chapter in yor life. Redescover who you really are and what you want from life.
Talk to your husband he may feel the same as you?
Have you seen a Dr about the tiredness?
Horsie - I am glad that you will have your little one with you for many more years. I am 44 now and my youngest will graduate in 4 years
. Fortunately my step son is staying at home to attend college - actually maybe they all will. That will give me 8 more years LOLI did mention to my husband that I am afraid what will happen to us after the kids are gone, he seems to think life will be better.?.?
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"I did mention to my husband that I am afraid what will happen to us after the kids are gone, he seems to think life will be better.?.?"
He thinks it will be better, you think it might be worse, someone else may suggest things will remain the same...
... best bet is to let things pan out the way they will REGARDLESS of who thinks what?
He thinks it will be better, you think it might be worse, someone else may suggest things will remain the same...
... best bet is to let things pan out the way they will REGARDLESS of who thinks what?
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
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TooMuch 
Sorry to hear that you are feeling this way....a friend of mine has the fibromyalgia and I do know how hard that can be on you-
Try to stop worrying so much about who stays, goes, what will happen....worry about the next 3 hours as hard as it sounds- Go for a nice walk, lay on your back outside and listen to the birds chirping and breathe....
Start this new chapter in your life and seek what you are looking for as far as work-grab hold of it- "This too shall pass" with the emotional stuff- reach out, pray, and move forward-Think of how far you have come and the good things in your life....
Sorry to hear that you are feeling this way....a friend of mine has the fibromyalgia and I do know how hard that can be on you-
Try to stop worrying so much about who stays, goes, what will happen....worry about the next 3 hours as hard as it sounds- Go for a nice walk, lay on your back outside and listen to the birds chirping and breathe....
Start this new chapter in your life and seek what you are looking for as far as work-grab hold of it- "This too shall pass" with the emotional stuff- reach out, pray, and move forward-Think of how far you have come and the good things in your life....
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
I understand your feelings very well. My youngest is 16 and will graduate high school in two years. I don't know what I'll do with no kids around the house.
Sending you lots of hugs!
:ghug3:ghug3:ghug3
Sending you lots of hugs!
:ghug3:ghug3:ghug3
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Aww toomutch..I dont have kids so I cant know how that feels.
But I am a big kid at 33 and I never moved out. And dont plan on it.
I am pretty sure me and grams will be connected at the hip for the long haul.
I cant imagine life without her. So maybe I do know a little how it feels.
Take care of yourself. My couisn has Lupus which is also an autoimmune disease. SO I do know the struggles with that.
Kids will be kids. They are growing into their own. But never think they dont need you anymore. These are the times they will be experiencing alot of new things for the first time. Who better to be there than mom? You'll see. And as they get older they appreciate mom more. I think.
But I am a big kid at 33 and I never moved out. And dont plan on it.
I am pretty sure me and grams will be connected at the hip for the long haul.
I cant imagine life without her. So maybe I do know a little how it feels.
Take care of yourself. My couisn has Lupus which is also an autoimmune disease. SO I do know the struggles with that.
Kids will be kids. They are growing into their own. But never think they dont need you anymore. These are the times they will be experiencing alot of new things for the first time. Who better to be there than mom? You'll see. And as they get older they appreciate mom more. I think.
Seriously Fun!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
Originally Posted by least
I understand your feelings very well. My youngest is 16 and will graduate high school in two years. I don't know what I'll do with no kids around the house.
Sending you lots of hugs!
:ghug3:ghug3:ghug3
Sending you lots of hugs!
:ghug3:ghug3:ghug3
TooMuch, change is hard. But always doable, and usually good after we are sober. Hang in there. You will find your place. And yes, what about iron? Do you have enough in your life? I always have to keep on top of my iron intake. Otherwise I get sleepy too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 811
Hang in there toomutch! I am sure you will find something. With gas prices so high, I think lots of companies are starting to use more telecommuting.
As for the kids, I have four, the oldest is 16 and the youngest is 10...they take all my time and energy...but I don't know what I will do when they are all gone. Hopefully my husband and I will still like each other by then!
As for the kids, I have four, the oldest is 16 and the youngest is 10...they take all my time and energy...but I don't know what I will do when they are all gone. Hopefully my husband and I will still like each other by then!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I have some expereince in who I am changing and trying to cling to who I was. When I drank again for 8 years, I was going through many life changes....and I was desperatly clinging to the old me. I did not want change in my life as I had found a way to live with who I was. Upon getting sober I have had to accept that who I was yesterday is not who I am today and who I am today is not who I will be tomarrow. My role in life changes constantly. I want so badly to hold on to some constant..but my life is so enriched when I let things change.
My son is now an adult and our relationship has changed. My relationships with women and men have changed from what they were 10 years ago. It isn’t about better or worse, but different. And it isn’t always comfortable to live with.
I hope that you can find a way to view the future changes as a whole lot of possibilities for new things in your life and relationships.
:ghug
My son is now an adult and our relationship has changed. My relationships with women and men have changed from what they were 10 years ago. It isn’t about better or worse, but different. And it isn’t always comfortable to live with.
I hope that you can find a way to view the future changes as a whole lot of possibilities for new things in your life and relationships.
:ghug
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
Geez Suzette, lots of worries to be "futurizing" about, but I do understand some of where you're coming from.
I've kept my job through recovery, it's no dream job but it pays the bills and feeds me and the kids. How about taking on a light part-time job for a few hours each day until something comes along that's more up your alley?
As for my children I've got 8 more years until the youngest will head off to college but I still worry about where that will leave me. So what I've come up with is the thought that I'll really appreciate that extra time with my spouse and it'll give me more time to work with others in recovery, and to enjoy life too. I'll also be enjoying the gift of watching my own children go through adult life, hopefully having grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc.
Gulp! That's a lot to think about, and it's waaaaaay off in the future. Recovery is a process, usually a slooooooow one. So it's probably best that I take it one day, sometimes even just a moment at a time. That's much easier to digest and deal with.
Worthless? Suzette, every day you come to SR and share your experience with newcomers. What a great gift that is to give so freely. And being a parent myself, I know without a doubt that your family appreciates you more than you'll ever know.
I've kept my job through recovery, it's no dream job but it pays the bills and feeds me and the kids. How about taking on a light part-time job for a few hours each day until something comes along that's more up your alley?
As for my children I've got 8 more years until the youngest will head off to college but I still worry about where that will leave me. So what I've come up with is the thought that I'll really appreciate that extra time with my spouse and it'll give me more time to work with others in recovery, and to enjoy life too. I'll also be enjoying the gift of watching my own children go through adult life, hopefully having grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc.
Gulp! That's a lot to think about, and it's waaaaaay off in the future. Recovery is a process, usually a slooooooow one. So it's probably best that I take it one day, sometimes even just a moment at a time. That's much easier to digest and deal with.
Worthless? Suzette, every day you come to SR and share your experience with newcomers. What a great gift that is to give so freely. And being a parent myself, I know without a doubt that your family appreciates you more than you'll ever know.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Oh TooMutch,
I can so understand how you feel. It's the hardest thing to see our kids grow up and move on with their lives. That's the goal we have in mind when we are raising them, but when it happens, it's so hard.
We had to move to a nearby city when daughter was 19 (just finishing 1st yr at University) and son was 21 (just finishing 3rd year at University). They both had to stay behind for school and it was instant empty-nest for me. It was so difficult. I definitely had to look at my relationship with my husband. It's so easy to get caught up in life when you have a busy household with teenagers. For me, it was a good thing. I had to look at things as they really were (part of my recovery) and not how I wanted them to be. It was a growth experience for sure.
I have fibromyalgia too and recently went back to work part-time. It's a physically demanding job, standing all the time and minimal breaks, but so far, so good. The stress of a new job has taken it's toll but I want to do this. I really encourage you to find something that fits your life and don't give up until you find it.
I can so understand how you feel. It's the hardest thing to see our kids grow up and move on with their lives. That's the goal we have in mind when we are raising them, but when it happens, it's so hard.
We had to move to a nearby city when daughter was 19 (just finishing 1st yr at University) and son was 21 (just finishing 3rd year at University). They both had to stay behind for school and it was instant empty-nest for me. It was so difficult. I definitely had to look at my relationship with my husband. It's so easy to get caught up in life when you have a busy household with teenagers. For me, it was a good thing. I had to look at things as they really were (part of my recovery) and not how I wanted them to be. It was a growth experience for sure.
I have fibromyalgia too and recently went back to work part-time. It's a physically demanding job, standing all the time and minimal breaks, but so far, so good. The stress of a new job has taken it's toll but I want to do this. I really encourage you to find something that fits your life and don't give up until you find it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Ok...now let's see your gratitude list
Mega
I am daily victorious over my alcoholism
2. I've raised amazing young people who
are becoming independent and strong.
3. I can take the time to find a part
time job without going homeless or hungry
Just starting you off
Mega
I am daily victorious over my alcoholism
2. I've raised amazing young people who
are becoming independent and strong.
3. I can take the time to find a part
time job without going homeless or hungry
Just starting you off
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
I consider myself one blessed lady to have you all. 
I was so glad to come home from the eye doctor and read what you all had to say.
Bad news is I suffer from chronic shingles, often time breaking out on my nose. Well this morning I felt the beginnings of a flare up and soon after my eye started to ache. I was brought in for an emergrncy eye appointment and have iritis which is an inflamation of the muscle fibers in the iris, and can be brought on by shingles. The doctor dialated my eye so big that there is barely any blue showing. It will be dialated for two days to try and protect that eye. meanwhile I am tying with one eye closed.
I was so glad to come home from the eye doctor and read what you all had to say.
Bad news is I suffer from chronic shingles, often time breaking out on my nose. Well this morning I felt the beginnings of a flare up and soon after my eye started to ache. I was brought in for an emergrncy eye appointment and have iritis which is an inflamation of the muscle fibers in the iris, and can be brought on by shingles. The doctor dialated my eye so big that there is barely any blue showing. It will be dialated for two days to try and protect that eye. meanwhile I am tying with one eye closed.
Last edited by Toomutch; 08-14-2008 at 12:43 PM.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
I've probably got a lot of chronic issues too Suzette, my problem is I'm too darn stubborn and chicken to go see the doctor. Wish I had your courage!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Hi Toomutch. I can't relate with the children never having any my self. But it sounds like your trying to take care of yourself when it comes to working. I can relate to feeling worthless.
Writing a gratitude list helps me and also listening and reading others stories helps a lot too. When I hear someone has it worse then me, it helps me to not think of myself and my problems don't seem as bad then.
Take care,
Barb
Writing a gratitude list helps me and also listening and reading others stories helps a lot too. When I hear someone has it worse then me, it helps me to not think of myself and my problems don't seem as bad then.
Take care,
Barb
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