Class of July 2008 Part III
You said in your post that you are communicating more now, I take it that's a positive thing? If so, and if there are no real pressing issues that would indicate splitting up, then maybe now is not the time to make that change since you are going through a big change already with getting sober.
Yes, it's a very positive thing. Really, I don't want to make that change, but it does cross my mind at the low points. I was relating to your comment and then thinking, yeah there are some positives to being independent but then thought...yeah but I'd be more likely to drink...then thought hey, there's another reason I want to stay married....then thought, well that might be a screwed up reason. Kind of a "one thought leads to another" thing. Much happier to deal with that than a "one drink leads to another" thing.
Thanks for the feedback, it's helpful.
Wanted to respond to Jules62 here too but not sure how to put 2 Quotes in one post.
Yes-it is.
Sorry-I know I'm being blunt-but that's my nature.I'm a bit confused.On the one hand you're saying you're communicating better with your wife-then you say something like this?It's very self absorbed.But I did get it's not the only reason.I guess I don't have all the information.I'm not in any way suggesting you leave her-but I am suggesting you stop focusing on her behavior(and maybe blaming her for why you drink?) and just take care of your 'side of the street' as they say.Early sobriety is not a time to make major decisions about your life-as far as changes go.Get used to living sober/differently, clean up your own issues and then maybe address the 'stuff' in your marriage.
Just my opinion and I accept I could be completely wrong here.But it just sounds to me like you're thinking way too far ahead and focusing on distractions rather than your own recovery.
Feel free to go off at me-LOL.I do mean well-but I'm not good at coddling people either.It's okay if I'm wrong.
Jules.
Sorry-I know I'm being blunt-but that's my nature.I'm a bit confused.On the one hand you're saying you're communicating better with your wife-then you say something like this?It's very self absorbed.But I did get it's not the only reason.I guess I don't have all the information.I'm not in any way suggesting you leave her-but I am suggesting you stop focusing on her behavior(and maybe blaming her for why you drink?) and just take care of your 'side of the street' as they say.Early sobriety is not a time to make major decisions about your life-as far as changes go.Get used to living sober/differently, clean up your own issues and then maybe address the 'stuff' in your marriage.
Just my opinion and I accept I could be completely wrong here.But it just sounds to me like you're thinking way too far ahead and focusing on distractions rather than your own recovery.
Feel free to go off at me-LOL.I do mean well-but I'm not good at coddling people either.It's okay if I'm wrong.
Jules.
Blunt is not only cool, but prefered.
Not trying to make any more major decisions now if at all possible. Wish I could put the relationship on hold and recover for 6 months and sort out all my tangled, previously alcohol effected, thoughts. But that ain't gonna happen so I deal.
I do want to work things out with her and I can't blame her for my drinking, nor do I want to. I drank during all our good years too, just not as much or as often.
I'm working my side of the street but that does include things that blow over from the other side. Sometimes they are thrown over.
Thanks for the input Jules.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 729
I just wanted to post that I am having a great day 58!!! I know there is going to be a lot of tough times but I am enjoying today. I went to lunch with a friend and did not feel out of place or uncomfortable. This is not easy for me. I have plans on Saturday night to see a movie and I am trying to do things to give me balance. I think I am starting to feel life again
Thats great cmhcali, I am happy to hear your having a good day.
I am aswell which kinda suprised me as I quit smoking just a couple of days ago I was expecting to feel like crap. But I went to see a friend this morning and we had a nice chit chat over some coffee. Then I went shopping with my girls and we bought some nice pampering bath goodies so we all smell nice (since I can smell again now I don't smoke lol). I cut the grass and still have the whole evening left to read some good books
Sax
I am aswell which kinda suprised me as I quit smoking just a couple of days ago I was expecting to feel like crap. But I went to see a friend this morning and we had a nice chit chat over some coffee. Then I went shopping with my girls and we bought some nice pampering bath goodies so we all smell nice (since I can smell again now I don't smoke lol). I cut the grass and still have the whole evening left to read some good books
Sax
Bruce glad reading is helping. I have not started reading anything as I do not have a license to get to a book store...
They have a lot of books that can be delivered to your door at Amazon and I've gotten books for $2-4 on ebay with the shipping included. I'd never walk into a book store and pick up a self help book about or one about alcoholism. I'm a chicken.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
Had a great night tonight! Went to see Dark Knight with my ex (but we're best friends...bizarre, I know), had a wonderful day kiddie-free (all at their daddies), enjoying some grown-up time.......SOBER!!! I'll wake up tomorrow refreshed and ready to hit some antique stores and maybe gain some more weight at restaurants I wouldn't want to bring the kids to! lol
Hope you're all doing well! I wish you all a wonderful feeling of sobriety and clear-headed-ness (word? lol) as well as this moment that I am having right now. Which I would NOT have had, if I'd still been drinking.
Hope you're all doing well! I wish you all a wonderful feeling of sobriety and clear-headed-ness (word? lol) as well as this moment that I am having right now. Which I would NOT have had, if I'd still been drinking.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
joinedintime-thanks for your response.I apologise if I was harsh-but I appreciate your willingness to listen.
I want to write more but I'm really not well today(physically). Not drinking-just sick and bit worried about it.
Back tomorrow.
Julesxox
I want to write more but I'm really not well today(physically). Not drinking-just sick and bit worried about it.
Back tomorrow.
Julesxox
Hi Bruce, I read alot, I must have read nearly every recovery book our there lol. Also I went through a phase of reading Angel books they were quite uplifting with so many positive stories in them.
Lately I have just been reading general fiction stories, I am finding I am really enjoying my reading again, when I was drinking I still read, but not half as much as I do now. The last book I read was "The end of Mr Y" by Scarlett Thomas, which I thought was really good but probably not everyones cup of tea. I just picked up James Frey's new book yesterday so will probably start on that one later today.
Sax
Lately I have just been reading general fiction stories, I am finding I am really enjoying my reading again, when I was drinking I still read, but not half as much as I do now. The last book I read was "The end of Mr Y" by Scarlett Thomas, which I thought was really good but probably not everyones cup of tea. I just picked up James Frey's new book yesterday so will probably start on that one later today.
Sax
Hi everyone. Sorry I aint been round here much lately. I've been busy as a one armed paper hanger. Been working all day then working on my house at night to get it ready to sell. Sunday night I worked til 2 am. The Realtor is coming over today. Hopefully I will have a for sale sign in my yard this week. I guess its finally time to really start looking for my new home. I did take a break yesterday and took the quad out for a few hours. I will see if I can post a few pics.
Yesterday at Browns Camp teaching my girlfriend how to ride
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