ghal

I went to my 1st AA meeting tonight (day 17) and I am not sure how I really felt about it. Towards the end I felt better about being there but very odd in the beginning. I found it hard to introduce myself as an alcoholic, to be honest.

One thing that made it odd was not knowing the protocol and etc.. This was a beginners meeting but it ws really mixed with long-timers and newbies. Should I just go up to the person leading next time and ask them what in the world is going on ha ha..

I know, I know,,,"get a sponsor" I plan to but I haven't figured out how to approach him yet. He is my wive's aunt's new husband and he has been sober 20 years and leads meetings, sponsors and etc.. I am not sure If I should work with someone so close to the family??

One more thing, is it bad for me to feel like I am not nearly as sick with the disease as some of the others in the meeting or others on the web. The stories I hear don't resemble mine at all and I find myself questioning if I belong there. At the same time, I know I drank too much and it was damaging my health. No blackouts, not really one to get real drunk, no big family issues, job has been solid for 10 years and etc. BUT, I felt like I was drinking out of control or at least too frequently and it started to manage me versus the other way around. So, my DR and I decided I should quit and get seriuous about it. So far, I am doing great but I am really worried I am going to drink again when they confirm my blood results are back to normal. Does this sound like anyone else here. Also, how ould you Share in AA if you never really hit a bottom. I know, it's better not to hit bottom

bostonluv

I think it's totally normal to feel weird at your first and maybe even several more meetings. The lingo still baffles me. And also, thinking, oh my goodness, I NEVER did that. I never lost a job, friends, went to jail, got a DUI or in a car wreck. I don't belong HERE. Anyway, I haven't done much AA my first 21 days sober so I'll shut up now. But they work for so many people I wanted to encourage you. I think you're also very brave to introduce yourself as an alcoholic. I never introduced myself because I didn't want to do that (even though I know I am and I accept that). I don't know, I just want to say, Hi. I'm Kathleen and I'm new and I don't understand what ESH is or Let go and let God. You'll figure it out though and more than likely thrive there.

Aysha

Nobody need hit bottom before they seek help. In addiction. We are all pretty much in the same boat. Regardless of whos got it worse and been through worse. It all boils down to the same factor we all share as addicts and alcoholics. We cant control our use.
Just because you havent hit bottom doesnt make you any less of an alcoholic. Some just fall further faster. And stay down longer.
But you know it all leads to the same place eventually.
I dont go to meetings. SO I dont know about sponsorship. I was told to wait at least a month before I started looking for one. And to interview them. I mean this will be the person helping you work your program. So make sure they are the right one for you.

Taking5

I asked my uncle (28 years sober in AA) to be my sponsor and he turned me down for this very reason. He asked specifically if I had ever in my drinking days done anything to hurt dad (his brother). I said yes. He responded by saying when he hears a 5th step, he did not want to hear how someone mistreated his brother, and that I should get someone else.

Looking back I am glad he did this.

CarolD

Hmm...
As you and your doctor are concerned about your health
and AA is for anyone with the desire to quit...
....why would you not want to go?

Here is all about meetings

Your First AA Meeting<

Do note that you do not have to be an alcoholic to go
or say you are ..... unless it's a Closed Meeting.

Before you think of getting a sponsor
look on the literature rack for the official AA guideline
"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"

The reason there were older AA members at a
Newcomers? Just like on here...newcomers have
questions and older members have answers....

Recovery Rocks!

bostonluv

GHAL - Oh yeah...I thought that was weird too. Went to a newcomers meeting and thought it would be a bunch of bewildered people like me and someone would stand up and go through all the acronims (sp big time), sayings and go through each of the 12 steps and what they mean and then hook us all up with sponsors during the meeting. A kind of "work shop" is what I expected. Actually, those wouldn't be so bad. They should think about doing something like that....

nogard

did you read what Carol posted?

Try it as is before you get ready to revamp it.

"It works if you work it"

four812

hi ghal


I can relate to everythingyou shared.

I do recommend attending 3 to 7 meetings no matter what
try one somewhere else
you are doing everything right (having questions about how it works and all that)

there can be a lot of good at AA, well, and sometimes, there are a few people who are jerks (ok...i mean who ruffle your feathers) I can be pretty judgmental myself as you can tell!

CarolD

There are AA workshops ....I've been to many.
The last one I attended was on sponsorship.

I really enjoy weekend workshops we do at a retreat.
steps 1 thru 12 are the topic of those.

AA can be an awesome adventure

Gasp! we often have dances and picnics
cook outs and midnight candle light meetings
card parties...weddings....baby showers...camfire meetings
hikes...AA road trips ...conbentions...dinners
and we stay sober day by day...

dancinggirl

I completely feel you on this one!!! The people at the AA meetings I'd gone to regularly talked about going to jail, being homeless, losing their kids, etc., etc., and i didn't feel "right" being there. I also haven't asked my doctor to check my liver, because if it's ok, I think that I'll drink.

The fact is, though, that it IS better to not hit bottom and STOP drinking anyways!!! Why the heck should everyone go as low as they can?! If you are blessed with the knowledge and understanding that the drinking is becoming too big a part of your life than that is more than enough to be in AA! The only requirement in AA, I believe the saying goes, is "a desire to quit drinking". No where do they say you have to have experienced abject poverty and despair first.

When I was in AA I had some *****s tell me to go drink more, as I hadn't hit bottom yet. Well, sorry, but drinking is a guarantee to hit a bottom I have zero intention of getting to! I will NOT lose my kids before I stop this insanity!

Good luck to you....I hope your bloodwork turn up fabulous....and know that you're doing the right thing by stopping.

Mattcake

Congrats Ghal I don't follow the AA program, but I do appreciate the fact that it helps millions of lives, and I apply some of its philosophy to my own recovery.

Re: bottoms. Well... Quoting what you wrote:

Quote:

Originally Posted by ghal

One more thing, is it bad for me to feel like I am not nearly as sick with the disease as some of the others in the meeting or others on the web. The stories I hear don't resemble mine at all and I find myself questioning if I belong there. At the same time, I know I drank too much and it was damaging my health. No blackouts, not really one to get real drunk, no big family issues, job has been solid for 10 years and etc. BUT, I felt like I was drinking out of control or at least too frequently and it started to manage me versus the other way around. So, my DR and I decided I should quit and get seriuous about it. So far, I am doing great but I am really worried I am going to drink again when they confirm my blood results are back to normal. Does this sound like anyone else here. Also, how ould you Share in AA if you never really hit a bottom. I know, it's better not to hit bottom

I think you've listed several reasons regarding why you'd want to stop drinking; that sounds like a bottom to me. No two stories are identical, there's no need to experience blackouts or family dysfunction (or homelessness or cirrhosis or whatever) to decide to quit. Though I'm not big on the disease model, think about this: were you to discover a lump in your body, would you and ignore it, or would you treat it as aggressively as possible? Sadly, maybe, like me, you know of someone who ignored a lump and wound up dead. Good for you, you've taken a step towards recovery, instead of waiting around for metastasis. In any case, I've never heard of anyone's life getting *better* thanks to a drinking problem.

So I'm happy for you Give AA a fair trial and, if it just doesn't feel right for you, remember that there are other ways to recover.

JigOvLife

Doing my first meeting in about 4 mths tonight.
I feel sufficiently myself again that I won't sit meekly in a corner supping tea and nibbling custard creams, or unleash the darkside and pace about ranting and scaring the old ladies because its my right to dump my baggage in the nearest fellowship.

Gonna share myself courteously with relevance to the life problems I'm having issues dealing with on my own.

Gonna listen,for those similarities

Gonna introduce myself as a recovering alcoholic, as I believe language is programmer and classifying myself as an alcoholic without the pro-noun has a negative impact on my sobriety.

Gonna intone my variation on the serenity prayer, summoning my subconscious to grant me serenity,courage and wisdom.

Gonna politely step back if it's the lord's prayer.

And right now I'm gonna stop obsessing about the bloody thing, light a cig and get about my day.

AA has a good nugget directed to those who feel they don't belong or aren't that far down the road, losing jobs,partners,clean criminal records,health...You're not there YET. and as the years have gone by those 'yet's' have become regrets for me.

tommyk

My disease still tells me, "I don't belong here..."

(14 years sober, lol, maybe it will stop telling me that soon...?)

LogCabin

The speaker last night was a really funny woman who said some really great things.

One, she said, "NO ONE in this room started off WANTING TO BE Here".
Two, she said, "I was so completly different from all of you".

Anyway...she was the first speaker in over 4 years that I so completly related too, and it was a blast to finally hear my own feelings and story being told by someone else.

And yeah...I'm like Jig. I leave religion out of it. I'm there for the love, support, compassion, and understanding. It is my twice weekly fix.

And I was wondering. You mentioned that you don't see the "behaviors" in yourself that you see in others who admit they have a problem. Well I'm wondering...How do YOU feel the next morning after a night of drinking?

For THAT is what it is all about in my humble opinion. Do you like the way you feel? And I mean emotionally...not just physically.

bostonluv

Oh yeah. Hadn't thought of that!!

22NGONE

Hello,

Well I was always told that you can compare yourself right out of these rooms if you want to. I listen for the things useful/meaningful to my recovery and do not compare myself to others. I'm told alcoholism is like an elevator ride, it all depends on what floor you decide to get off on.

John

Jersey Nonny

Quote:

I'm told alcoholism is like an elevator ride, it all depends on what floor you decide to get off on.

Exactly! You don't have to ride that thing all the way to "the bottom".

As far as the stories go...find the similarities, rather than the differences. It's surprising how much we are alike beneath the surface.

ghal

Thank you for the link! Great info there!

ghal

Everyone, thanks for the responses. I obviously wouldn't be here or at an AA meeting if I didn't think I had a problem. I just have to get to that place where I REALLY accept it and decide it's over (alcohol, that is). Oh yeah, today is day 18 and all is well!
Another question: What is the deal with Open versus closed sessions? And, can a newbie go to any closed session they want unless it's for women only or something like that. For example, if the class has a particular title like "progress not perfection" or "closed Step"...

Astro

A closed AA meeting is for alcoholics only. Yes, you can go to a closed session, out of respect please introduce yourself as an alcoholic.

Open meetings are open to anyone who would like to attend. That might include students, nurses, parents, siblings, friends, and addicts from any program of recovery.