What's your trigger?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 353
What's your trigger?
So, I'm riding my bicycle home from work yesterday. I have to leave the office at 4:30 in order to pick up my kids from daycare at 5:00. Less than one minute into my ride it starts to pour out. I get totally soaked, yet I can see the sunshine less than a half mile away. Unfortunately I have to turn north and head deeper into the storm. I finally get home through the wind and the rain (I felt like a pony express rider). I hurry to hang up my wet bike clothes and get dressed to get the kids. I walk out the front door and it is beautiful out. Sunshine, birds chirping etc...
Somehow this experience really created an urge to have a drink. I guess when I am put out or have to exert any extra energy in something I normally do, I feel like drinking. It was bad, I had cash in my pocket and liquore store on the way home. My saving grace was that I called my wife to see when she would be home. Thank god she left her phone at home and didn't answer. I decided not to risk it. I thought about SR and everything I have experienced here the past 57 days. I stayed sober but this was the hardest test yet!
IN YOUR FACE BOOZE!
Heavy
Somehow this experience really created an urge to have a drink. I guess when I am put out or have to exert any extra energy in something I normally do, I feel like drinking. It was bad, I had cash in my pocket and liquore store on the way home. My saving grace was that I called my wife to see when she would be home. Thank god she left her phone at home and didn't answer. I decided not to risk it. I thought about SR and everything I have experienced here the past 57 days. I stayed sober but this was the hardest test yet!
IN YOUR FACE BOOZE!
Heavy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
My trigger: the kids have been rowdy all day....I have them all in bed and fast asleep...one of my favourite tv shows is on....i want to drink while watching.
Or: my ex (who doesn't even drink!) is visiting (we're still best-friends...should'n't've gotten married) and I'm so used to drinking around him that I want to.
Ya know what? I'm having a hard time remembering my triggers. I know that I want to drink now, but that's 'cause I'm at day 26 and see no joy in reaching 30. I crashed last time at day 54...sooo close to two months.
Or: my ex (who doesn't even drink!) is visiting (we're still best-friends...should'n't've gotten married) and I'm so used to drinking around him that I want to.
Ya know what? I'm having a hard time remembering my triggers. I know that I want to drink now, but that's 'cause I'm at day 26 and see no joy in reaching 30. I crashed last time at day 54...sooo close to two months.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
My biggest trigger? Breathing. I am an addict. I can associate everything in my life with drinking or drugging if Im not careful. I have to remind myself how bad it was for me out there. And yes, it was bad. It sucked. Im also on day 26. Not always easy, but soooooooo worth it.
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
My biggest trigger? Financial worries. I have to really make an effort to step back and talk myself down when I get too wrapped up in trying to control outcomes.
It gets easier as time goes on, but it's still a work in progress.
It gets easier as time goes on, but it's still a work in progress.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 811
My trigger is getting off work and going home...time to drink. I drink when I clean the house, I drink when I work in the yard.. I messed up yesterday and now I have to start all over again. I just wish I wouldn't justify needing it all the time. Had a bad day, tired, the kids are fighting...there is always an excuse. Last night it was I was alone with my husband and wanted to have a glass of wine...did I really have to drink the whole bottle? Need to stop whining and just do it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 353
Triggers are hard. Let me rephrase that, resisting triggers is HARD. I do feel really good about not drinking last night, and now the urge is gone. I just need to stay strong for the next one...
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
I think everyone's triggers are the same:
Life on life's terms.
Basically if someone is looking for a trigger... they will find one. Everything & anything can be a trigger... but nothing really is a trigger.
Life on life's terms.
Basically if someone is looking for a trigger... they will find one. Everything & anything can be a trigger... but nothing really is a trigger.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
My triggers are: anger, frustration, feeling weary, sel pity (oh yeah!). Although feeling joyous can also side swipe me. I have to keep constant vigil on this. Thanks for your post about the bike ride last night Heavy J.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
I agree with Tommyk. But, specifically, boredom is a huge trigger for me... Idle hands and all that. Until I realized that drinking itself had becoming a boring nightmare.
Also, certain favourite albums/songs that were the soundtrack to my binges. I couldn't bear listening to them without automatically thinking about drinking. Currently reintroducing them in my life when I go for long walks in the park - a safe distance away from the nearest corkscrew.
Also, certain favourite albums/songs that were the soundtrack to my binges. I couldn't bear listening to them without automatically thinking about drinking. Currently reintroducing them in my life when I go for long walks in the park - a safe distance away from the nearest corkscrew.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 22
" My guess is that I choose to deal with stress with alcohol. I choose to deal with sadness, happiness, triumph, failure, and everything else under the sun by drinking. I'm bored, lonely and basically hate myself for being such a failure. Some may think I am feeling sorry for myself but I'm not. I know it is I who am making those choices, no one is making them for me. If I was strong I would suck it up and go to meetings or a counsler, God help me find the strength. I think it might be easier for me to talk to a counsler than go to a meeting. I think I would feel better if I was making friends here but I just feel rejection- from every one except alcohol. Talking here is helping, at least it's one step in the right direction... admitting that I have a problem and hoping and praying to find the strength to deal with it. Thanks for your replys. I think this site is literally saving my life!
Meadow "
Meadow "
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
TommyK :ghug2
Before I read your response, that exact phrase came to mind. Life on lifes terms. I don't have "triggers' per se anymore. That is, I have now done most things sober that I used to do drunk/drinking. I now have different habits so it is more normal to not drink. BUT I can honestly say that the thought of drinking pops into my mind randomly now and again. Luck for me, I have a very strong sober crusader in my head now. So whenever the thought comes in the crusader scoffs and says "Oh, so you want to see what spending more than a couple hours in jail is really like?" And of course, not even my disease can say yes to that one.
Before I read your response, that exact phrase came to mind. Life on lifes terms. I don't have "triggers' per se anymore. That is, I have now done most things sober that I used to do drunk/drinking. I now have different habits so it is more normal to not drink. BUT I can honestly say that the thought of drinking pops into my mind randomly now and again. Luck for me, I have a very strong sober crusader in my head now. So whenever the thought comes in the crusader scoffs and says "Oh, so you want to see what spending more than a couple hours in jail is really like?" And of course, not even my disease can say yes to that one.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
Hey Meadow, welcome to SR!
My trigger is old haunts, an Irish pub near my old home, or the rustic bar I used to frequent in northern Arizona. Last weekend I drove by that bar on the way back from a beautiful hike, just kept on driving.
Fishing and camping are triggers too. Now I camp and fish with my kids and GF, it's much more enjoyable to treasure our time together than to sit in a chair and get trashed.
My trigger is old haunts, an Irish pub near my old home, or the rustic bar I used to frequent in northern Arizona. Last weekend I drove by that bar on the way back from a beautiful hike, just kept on driving.
Fishing and camping are triggers too. Now I camp and fish with my kids and GF, it's much more enjoyable to treasure our time together than to sit in a chair and get trashed.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Having a 'meltdown', as I call it, can trigger me. I used to crash emotionally every couple of months and that's when I would want to hide in the bottle. Numb out. Avoid feeling.
I'm happy to say that the longer I have been sober, I can't remember the last time I had an episode. I still experience depression which is made manageable with medication, but nothing that has made me run for the bottle. Thoughts, yes, but no major urges or cravings.
I'm happy to say that the longer I have been sober, I can't remember the last time I had an episode. I still experience depression which is made manageable with medication, but nothing that has made me run for the bottle. Thoughts, yes, but no major urges or cravings.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Fear, anger, frustration, feeling powerless.
They exist - but I don't have to act on them like I used to.
or - to join the slogan bandwagon - just because something pulls the trigger doesn't mean I have to take the bullet
LOL
D
They exist - but I don't have to act on them like I used to.
or - to join the slogan bandwagon - just because something pulls the trigger doesn't mean I have to take the bullet
LOL
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Yes...being COMPLETELY out of control, feeling I no longer have ANY ok options or choices I can make. I just go crazy with that occationally.. So far I've really only had 3 of those episodes, but when they happen it really is quite frightening and I am glad that I haven't had easy access to alchohol at those times. I think I will feel much better about my sobriety if I can get to a point where I see the set up for that feeling coming so that I can be sure to be in a safe environment with support when it happens. I really don't seem to be capable of rational thought for about 15-20 minites of that time. I am concerned that I am headed for an emotional outbreak soon, and am working with my sponsor on specific things I can do...not to not feel, but to be sure that I don't harm my self or others with the temper tantrum part of this.
Gee that sounded crazy! Then again...I may be getting better enough that I will experience my feelings without the destructive lash out that I am so use to indulging in!
Gee that sounded crazy! Then again...I may be getting better enough that I will experience my feelings without the destructive lash out that I am so use to indulging in!
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 482
I only realised yesterday that my big trigger was home time at work. At around 3.30 when I know there's only one hour to go until I can escape from this office. I am not sure how to deal with this particular trigger - I can't not finish work each day! I think the clock in general is my trigger. I can be sitting at home fine and then notice that it's 9pm... and my favourite bar doesn't close until 10pm so I should head down... or realise that it's 11.30pm and I can still get some take-aways.
Another thing for me is knowing that I'm "allowed" to drink. Knowing that no one is "keeping tabs" on me. My ex used to tell me not to drink all the time, my current partner doesn't know I have a problem and doesn't tell me not to. I know he doesn't want to be around me when I do, but I'm still "allowed" to. That's one I've been working on for a while - yes I am "allowed" to drink. But I'm also "allowed" to put my hand on the stove top, or run under a truck. Am I going to do that? Hell no. So why drink?
Another thing for me is knowing that I'm "allowed" to drink. Knowing that no one is "keeping tabs" on me. My ex used to tell me not to drink all the time, my current partner doesn't know I have a problem and doesn't tell me not to. I know he doesn't want to be around me when I do, but I'm still "allowed" to. That's one I've been working on for a while - yes I am "allowed" to drink. But I'm also "allowed" to put my hand on the stove top, or run under a truck. Am I going to do that? Hell no. So why drink?
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 39
1) Boredom and restlessness. 2) Dissatisfaction with my lack of motivation. 3) Social anxiety. 4) Writer's block/academic anxiety.
The first two is where I feel most helpless, because I get myself into a trap where I'm not happy with the situation, yet I do not feel compelled to do anything about it because it is too overwhelming. Drinking tends to shift the mood, but then I'm limited to a time frame that I can do things within, and then the problem returns. It is kind of a frustrating way to live. So I'm learning how to urge myself to take small, concrete doable actions (moving from thought into action!) to get myself out of these ruts...for some reason I never knew how to do this in the first place, but hopefully I'll improve with time. Also, it helps to remind myself that even if I don't believe I'm in the mood to do something at first, there is a high probability that once I get started I will feel better about it - experience has shown me this.
#3 is where the stakes are highest, in terms of what I need emotionally (connection with others). This is the greatest trigger I think.
#4 is tied to my sense of achievement and self-worth.
The first two is where I feel most helpless, because I get myself into a trap where I'm not happy with the situation, yet I do not feel compelled to do anything about it because it is too overwhelming. Drinking tends to shift the mood, but then I'm limited to a time frame that I can do things within, and then the problem returns. It is kind of a frustrating way to live. So I'm learning how to urge myself to take small, concrete doable actions (moving from thought into action!) to get myself out of these ruts...for some reason I never knew how to do this in the first place, but hopefully I'll improve with time. Also, it helps to remind myself that even if I don't believe I'm in the mood to do something at first, there is a high probability that once I get started I will feel better about it - experience has shown me this.
#3 is where the stakes are highest, in terms of what I need emotionally (connection with others). This is the greatest trigger I think.
#4 is tied to my sense of achievement and self-worth.
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