Eclipse

the fog is gone! Wow what a difference a few days makes! I don't understand why if it feels so good to feel good that I get that terrible urge to do it all again. I can remember who I talked to on the phone last night! I remember going to bed! I woke up in a good mood! Why is it so hard to just keep it going? Why is there always that thought in the back of my mind???

rurdy2rk

Isn't it amazing? Keep doing what you are doing..:bounce

HeavyJ

AWESOME!

That thought in the back of your mind will fade. Just keep resisting the urge and enjoying every sober second!

Heavy

aquasport13

Love that optimism!! got some to share! Well said, and good for you keep it up!

nayster

I don't know why that voice persists. Speaking for myself, change can be hard. It's like learning to live again, this time without alcohol.

Focus on how great you feel!!

Mattcake

Yup, I definitely agree, hang on to the good and take it slow. It's more than worth it

tommyk

Nice post.

The small things are what we often cherish most about sobriety.

When I first got sober many many years ago I noticed that I could always seem to remember the girl's name who was sleeping next to me.

Toomutch

I remember when I first came out of that awful detoxing phase. Everything suddenly seemed so brite, and I heard the birds and just felt so alive. It took awhile befor that nagging little voice went away, but now cravings come few and far between.

Eclipse

So remember this morning, when I could see through the fog and I felt great???? Well, tonite my husband and I are home alone, the kids are with the grandparents, and for some reason I think that I should buy a bottle of wine and have a nice glass with my husband (because I can handle it now that I can see so effing clearly through the fog). Well I am on the fourth glass and guess what...not only did I buy a bottle of wine, I bought the big one..why??? because it is cheaper than just buying a small bottle??? Wow that makes sense...what do I do now? I "clearly" don't get it.

bostonluv

Start again tomorrow. And if you f**k up again. Try again tomorrow. I don't know if I "get" it yet. I hope I do and I hope I'll keep going but I don't know............ Just keep trying.

Eclipse

So I drank the whole bottle, woke up at 3:00 am with a headache, now I feel like crap both phycically and mentally. I really wanted to take care of business and do the right thing. Now I am going to the cabin for the weekend and feel like I have given up because I am trying to figure out how many bottles of wine to take with me cuz there is no store around. I figure if I buy 3 small bottles, I can drink just one each day and be okay, but you know I will drink them all and then have to drive clear in to town to get more. Why can't I just not take any at all?

tommyk

If you keep doing the same things over and over you can pretty much expect the same results.

Something has to change, and you have to initiate the change.

Keep coming back.

dancinggirl

My "voice" isn't going away either. Day 26. But I'm choosing today to not drink.

However, the voice that is telling me to go on a shopping spree I WILL listen to.

rurdy2rk

The important thing is you are back here, so you obviously want to stop. The best thing to do is start again. You can do it

Eclipse

Thanks for the encouragement. I feel better and I know I can do it.