Pixy1

flgirl me too, the slightest craving and i'm here! my kids and partner are feeling neglected
but if this is what I have to do to stay sober then I'm not going anywhere

HideorSeek

Hi All!

I'm very sorry to say that I have to join the August Club. I screwed up last night and feel ashamed of myself today. Everytime I think I've got it right, this awful disease creeps back in. I am ready and I know I can do this, I have to. Period.

Thank you all for being there for me.

Pixy1

Hideorseek

Your back here and thats all that matters. :ghug3 Your not alone, stick with us. We will get there in the end. We have to or it will be the end of us!

"When running up a hill it's all right to give up..... as long as you keep your feet moving!

Best Wishes

HideorSeek

Thanks Pixy. In rereading my post, I think that I may sound cavalier, but I'm not. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. Everytime I relapse, I let myself down and everyone here. That fuels my self-loathing and I don't need any more than I've got. So I have to figure out where I went wrong so as not to do it again. I think that my worst enemy (besides me) is my impulsivity and when I feel overwhelmed. It's almost like I'm out of balance in those areas. I NEED to be able to calm myself down and push pause on the impulsivity button in some other way than drinking.

But I can analyze myself ad nauseum. I just have to stop drinking. Period. In the end, it's that simple and I know that in my heart of hearts. It's time for me to just DO IT.

buttercup1

Hide honey, I'm right here with you! I will be joining August as well... I have no excuse for why I screwed up, but I can only move forward from here and try again.....

We will DO this!!

rubycanoe

hi,
I have started sobriety again, as of yesterday. I chose 08-02-2008 as my new start date. The longest I have made it was 28 months from 02/02 to 06/04. In the past year I think I have only made it 2 weeks tops, and have been drinking more and more often than in the last 9 years, as I was able to control and/or not drink as much. I am not sure about my problem but know that I want to quit for good. I am sending my support to all in the class of 08/08!!

Pixy1

Welcome :ghug3

HideorSeek

Welcome to our not so little club!

HideorSeek

I don't know what I'd do without you BC. We're in this together, through thick and thin.

buttercup1

(((Hugs))) HOS..... We will do this together! I'm here for you, kiddo.

whatlight

Am I still on Day 2 if i slept for 14 hours of Day 1? Haha...stay strong everyone!

flgirl

HOS,

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on, honey!!

Love you!

HideorSeek

Thanks Flgirl. I sent you belated B-day wishes on the other thread. Boy, are you a loved one....

Anyways, I'm recommitted and will move forward. I'm just so tired of this in and out, in and out, but I'm the only one who can do anything about it, and I think that I'm at that point. I know what I have to do, I just have to DO IT, and I know that. The ONLY good thing about this disease is the wonderful people I have met as a result. You, and they, are truly the most compassionate, caring, selfless, inspirational souls I have ever had the privledge to meet.

We will get through this. I definitely have the willingness (if not the fortitude sometimes) and I'm going to give it all that I have. That's all that I can do.:praying

flgirl

Thanks, HOS.

I know what you mean about the people here! I'm hanging in here...not drinking but feeling crappy. I know that will pass soon!

Time2Surrender

It will pass. Just keep hanging in there. Its all about living life on lifes terms. The more hardships and obstacles we overcome the easier it gets next time.

winwin

Well HOS and buttercup, I am joining you back on Day 1. I drank beer last night. I didn't need it but I drank it anyway. Now today I am sitting here wondering why I did that to myself. Oh well, I will pick up, brush off, and start over. Now I am out of the July club and in the August club. I know we can do it. I promise I will try harder. I was just starting to get some energy back and now today I have beer butt. Don't feel like doing a thing. I guess that is good because I don't even feel like drinking. I guess I made that one week mark and decided that a six pack of beer wouldn't hurt but I know better. If I want to beat this, it means no drinking at all. I can't just drink one beer. I drink until it is all gone. There is no moderation for me. Hope you guys are doing OK today.

HideorSeek

Hi Winwin! I'm sorry that you are on day 1 as well, but I'm very glad to have you here because your spirit is so strong and I love absolutely every one of your posts. I've heard a lot of people ask "what makes an alcoholic". Well, for me and I think you too, I cannot have just one drink. I used to be able to, but no longer. They refer to it as the disease of "more" and that's how it is for me.

So...let's put day 1 in the sober bank and forge ahead. I'm with you all the way!

:ghug3

buttercup1

Hi Winwin...sorry to hear that you have joined HOS and I, but we will continue to fight this TOGETHER! Yesterday is gone, we can't get it back, so we need to start fresh today. Lets try to get through August and graduate together!
The support here is amazing, I don't know what I would do without all of you!

ghal

I am new to the board but have been reading since I stopped drinking on July 25. I look forward to getting to know you all and joining the August group!!!

least

Just dropping in to say 'hello' to all my friends, both the ones I already know and the ones I've yet to meet!

Remember I've had at least 15 relapses since last December and am now coming to the end of my third week sober! So if I can do it, so can anyone.

Never give up!

:ghug