Mattcake

B., here's why I keep hammering the self worth idea: I think that, if you're okay and comfortable with yourself, you can just let other people's ignorant, hurtful comments slide. That's not to say that you should become a doormat. But ultimately, some fights aren't worth the effort. You may not agree of course, I'm just describing what works for me right now. I'm sure that will change in time.

Bamb, keep posting It's good to discuss things openly.

Aysha

When I said that about people saying my brothers..mothers husband..whatever it was I said. I was being a little sarcastic. Trying to be funny I guess. I said that becasue My grams will say stuff like that and she says those things to be accepting of the person. I think it is cute when she does it. God dont get her trying to remember street names of some of my friends. She will really make you squirm. LOL.. My friend Snoop. She innocently called him Spook one time. LMAO. But he knew she really thought thats what it was.
I dont judge anyone. I dont critisise anyone. And when the day comes when I think I am better than someone and being "Petty" Please someone kick me in the head.
I just get a kick out of things. I look for humor in everything. I will bust on myself so hard to get a laugh.
So my words were taking way too seriously. Lighten up people.
It isnt a joking matter for those who really do struggle with issues. But I was reflecting on MY OWN experience. So I can bust on my ESH if I choose.
I really hope this thread doesnt turn into a debate.
And I'll tell you something..I am asian and dont get along with asians. Dont know why. Not predjudice. Just dont mesh well with most of them. So whatever. I have been told by my own race I was a disgrace to my mother whom has been missing since I was 5. Because I didnt speak Korean.
So I really dont want to hear about critisism.
I have enough crap to deal with in my life to be taking most of it too personal.

Mattcake

Yup, I agree with Chi. She summed it up perfectly. This thread was intended to be a place where we could share our experience and help each other out - the SR spirit. On a personal note, I'm sorry if I seemed dense and defensive... The topic is a bit sensitive of course but, like Ghal and Falling pointed out, there's no need to approach it as though we were treading on eggshells.

So I agree... No more pettiness. None of the posters have been mean spirited; let's all just dump the labels and bickering, and move on together. :ghug

sct

I'll preface this by saying that I can be kind of an @sshole... But yeah, I would rather someone be honestly homophobic than "politically correct." If someone is uncomfortable with whatever about me (I can also be abrasive in other ways, not just by being a f@g ) I would much much rather they said so than pretended it was ok. If you're a nice person- then you don't have to try to be nice, it comes naturally. I fully appreciate those [of us] who have to work at it, but if it's something I can't change, let me know so I can work on what I can change- which is probably going to be my relationship with the other person involved. If someone comes off with, "I hate ____" (fill in the blank with the epithet of your choice) then I know right off whether or not this is someone I need to keep associating with. Cause uh... it ain't my job to change their attitudes, only mine.
On a slightly less general note, part of my issue with people saying, "Oh my ____ is gay..." is that I'm not that person. I am probably very different from them. Sexuality is probably the ONLY thing I have in common with the _____ (friend, ex, brother's uncle's wife's step-cousin). The ______ is probably a nice guy filled with rainbows and kittens and other gay sh*t.

And- I do always try to couch these f*ckhead posts with "I'm very touchy" statements. My personal history is one that I have never been in the closet, I've known I was gay since I was eleven. But I have also taken a lot of abuse, and spent a period on the street when I didn't feel safe at home because of my sexuality. My experience with other people reacting to my sexuality has generally not been very positive. So... yeah, I come across as pretty spiky, even when people are 'trying to be nice.'

Ahm. I'm not up to step 6 yet, I am a work in progress. Maybe in a few months I'll come back full of rainbows and kittens...

... but please don't hold your breath My spikes are part of who I am.

kj3880

Bamb.
Come to Baltimore! Only a few miles from WV and very gay-friendly!!!
KJ