Quit O' Clock.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1
Quit O' Clock.
Morning all,
It's always tricky working out where to begin. I've been drinking fairly heavily for the past two years. Or is it three? Four? Anyway, the past two years at least, I haven't had a single day without a drink.
So, about two years ago I found that a glass or two of Sauvignon Blanc would send me straight to sleep, which I loved. having been an insomniac for roughly ten years, it was too tempting to pass up.
After a short while, it turned into a whole bottle a night, then two.
I make little attempt to hide my alcoholism, and I have told many of my friends and family. It's never been hard for me to tell the truth.
Unfortunately, I rather like alcohol. I have a great respect for a well made and well though out cocktail, and I see nearly every single malt whisky as a work of art. If I go out to a bar, I would happily spend what would be a third of the average persons weekly income, and this happens most nights.
Alcohol also seems to fuel and inspire my writing, and having two successful books published so far, it is hard for me to let it go.
I would however love to stop. I cannot sleep any more than three hours a night, usually less. I drink when I wake up. Sometimes I shake so much I can't even use a fork. I can't even try to be social without a few behind me. I simply cannot function without alcohol anymore. My father died from alcohol when I was six, and I'm going down the same path. I'm not living long like this.
But where do I start?
I am currently very far away from my home, friends, and family in Australia. I've been traveling this world for roughly six months and it'll probably be another six months before I make my way back home. Staying in hotels and hostels alone would make it difficult to quit, and being alone in a foreign country makes the notion much harder. If I quit anytime soon, I'll be doing it alone.
Being a staunch atheist, I absolutely refuse to goto Alcoholics Anonymous. Even hearing the notion of god or a higher power makes me cringe.
How also can I quit when I have such admiration for a fine drink, and a substance which has inspired my novels? To me, it seems like there is a lot more to give up than simply being drunk. Problem? Yes.
So, what should I do?
It's always tricky working out where to begin. I've been drinking fairly heavily for the past two years. Or is it three? Four? Anyway, the past two years at least, I haven't had a single day without a drink.
So, about two years ago I found that a glass or two of Sauvignon Blanc would send me straight to sleep, which I loved. having been an insomniac for roughly ten years, it was too tempting to pass up.
After a short while, it turned into a whole bottle a night, then two.
I make little attempt to hide my alcoholism, and I have told many of my friends and family. It's never been hard for me to tell the truth.
Unfortunately, I rather like alcohol. I have a great respect for a well made and well though out cocktail, and I see nearly every single malt whisky as a work of art. If I go out to a bar, I would happily spend what would be a third of the average persons weekly income, and this happens most nights.
Alcohol also seems to fuel and inspire my writing, and having two successful books published so far, it is hard for me to let it go.
I would however love to stop. I cannot sleep any more than three hours a night, usually less. I drink when I wake up. Sometimes I shake so much I can't even use a fork. I can't even try to be social without a few behind me. I simply cannot function without alcohol anymore. My father died from alcohol when I was six, and I'm going down the same path. I'm not living long like this.
But where do I start?
I am currently very far away from my home, friends, and family in Australia. I've been traveling this world for roughly six months and it'll probably be another six months before I make my way back home. Staying in hotels and hostels alone would make it difficult to quit, and being alone in a foreign country makes the notion much harder. If I quit anytime soon, I'll be doing it alone.
Being a staunch atheist, I absolutely refuse to goto Alcoholics Anonymous. Even hearing the notion of god or a higher power makes me cringe.
How also can I quit when I have such admiration for a fine drink, and a substance which has inspired my novels? To me, it seems like there is a lot more to give up than simply being drunk. Problem? Yes.
So, what should I do?
Last edited by agram; 07-29-2008 at 10:45 PM. Reason: I edit, therefore I am.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
What you "should" do is completely up to you. If you see it as a great problem in your life then you may decide to quit drinking. But if it's something you still like you may decide to continue drinking.
I first realized I had a problem when I started drinking early in the day to stop the shakes and anxiety. It's taken me since last December to finally, after many many tries, to get 17 days sober.
Unlike you I do not like alcohol. I liked the feeling a glass of wine or two USED TO give me, but it has long since stopped being my "friend" and is now my worst enemy.
The choice is yours. I pray that you find peace and a workable solution to the problems you are experiencing.
I first realized I had a problem when I started drinking early in the day to stop the shakes and anxiety. It's taken me since last December to finally, after many many tries, to get 17 days sober.
Unlike you I do not like alcohol. I liked the feeling a glass of wine or two USED TO give me, but it has long since stopped being my "friend" and is now my worst enemy.
The choice is yours. I pray that you find peace and a workable solution to the problems you are experiencing.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Agram... possibly / hopefully the day will come when you say, "I am willing to try ANYTHING to rid myself of this disease that has such a strong grip on my life...". At that time I believe change may readily present itself.
In the meantime, I wish you all of the best.
Keep coming back.
In the meantime, I wish you all of the best.
Keep coming back.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 33
Originally Posted by agram 
Alcohol also seems to fuel and inspire my writing, and having two successful books published so far, it is hard for me to let it go.
...guess the point is you can be famous/published and drink,...but you can also do it without drinking, in most cases probably be better at it too
(i am an artist as well, so i understand what u said, ...I have similar problems like that)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Miamisburg, Ohio
Posts: 217
Welcome to SR agram,
Let's see if I have this right. You can't sleep without alcohol, you wake up and need alcohol, you can't be inspired without alcohol, you can't be social without alcohol.....
Are you sure you don't already have a "higher power"?
Peace
Let's see if I have this right. You can't sleep without alcohol, you wake up and need alcohol, you can't be inspired without alcohol, you can't be social without alcohol.....
Are you sure you don't already have a "higher power"?
Peace
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NYC - New York
Posts: 305
Hello Agram - welcome!!!
I hear where you're coming from. For you alcohol has become a best friend and a support system for you. The thought of losing both is terrible.
However you have come here so you must be considering it. Keep it up, keep coming here and try the one day at a time method. That's the only way I can even consider losing my destructive friend and my refined single malt palate.
I hear where you're coming from. For you alcohol has become a best friend and a support system for you. The thought of losing both is terrible.
However you have come here so you must be considering it. Keep it up, keep coming here and try the one day at a time method. That's the only way I can even consider losing my destructive friend and my refined single malt palate.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 159
Welcome agram!!
Sounds like you have alot to live for and you need to want to do this for yourself otherwise it will be a long struggle. When you make the commitment to quit you need to standby your decision. Don't let your subconscious trick you back to your old habits.
I wish you the best and hope you make the decision to quit drinking and find your inner strength to overcome your addiction and the temptations to fall back on what your comfortable with.
Live in the moment, not in the past!
Bruce
Sounds like you have alot to live for and you need to want to do this for yourself otherwise it will be a long struggle. When you make the commitment to quit you need to standby your decision. Don't let your subconscious trick you back to your old habits.
I wish you the best and hope you make the decision to quit drinking and find your inner strength to overcome your addiction and the temptations to fall back on what your comfortable with.
Live in the moment, not in the past!
Bruce
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
Hi and Welcome
If you were interested in a program other than AA you can give SMART recovery a look. It is a self help program. They have a web sight set up like SR. Message boards, on-line meetings.
I can understand why you want to quit because of seeing what it has done in your family.
By the time I wanted to quit I hated alcohol. Sooner or later the bad times will out weigh the good times if you drink long enough.
If you were interested in a program other than AA you can give SMART recovery a look. It is a self help program. They have a web sight set up like SR. Message boards, on-line meetings.
I can understand why you want to quit because of seeing what it has done in your family.
By the time I wanted to quit I hated alcohol. Sooner or later the bad times will out weigh the good times if you drink long enough.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi and Welcome,
I'm glad you found us.
What I know, is that it is really hard to stop drinking and to live a sober life. You really need to want it a lot and be very motivated. As far as stopping on your own, it can be done. I am not an AA person and have used books and SR as my support system.
I'm glad you found us.
What I know, is that it is really hard to stop drinking and to live a sober life. You really need to want it a lot and be very motivated. As far as stopping on your own, it can be done. I am not an AA person and have used books and SR as my support system.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
....I went from a connoisseur of fine spirits to a common sewer of cheap hootch.
And I kept on drinking...
For me to actually quit....I had to find out why
I continued to drink after I decided to quit.
The book..."Under The Influence" explained why to me.
It has a sequel ..."Beyond The Influence"
Amazon usually has both.
I do hope you find answers ...sobriety rocks!
Welcome to SR!
Seriously Fun!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
Welcome.
How about looking at SMART recovery. It leaves the religion out.
SMART RecoveryŽ - Tool Chest and Homework
(PS - I'm an atheist too, but I still go to AA meetings for the love and support. But I do understand. I just had to be open minded to all that is out there, otherwise I would be dead like your Dad.)
How about looking at SMART recovery. It leaves the religion out.
SMART RecoveryŽ - Tool Chest and Homework
(PS - I'm an atheist too, but I still go to AA meetings for the love and support. But I do understand. I just had to be open minded to all that is out there, otherwise I would be dead like your Dad.)
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
I went out and drank at martini bars, or restaurants with the finest of wines, at the time thinking that I was doing something good for myself. I thought that these places were classy and therefore so was I.
Not too long after the picture wasn't quite so classy. Yes we would still visit these places, but I would go home afterwards and drink a bottle of wine (if I could get away with it); by this time my husband was trying to monitor my problem. But we alcoholics are sneaky .I had vodka hidden all over the house. So there I would go sneaking into the bathroom (classy girl that I am) and drink straight out of the bottle. On the night we did not go out I would always have a bottle of wine each night, my husband would typically dring 1 glass, I would have 3. When it was gone I was sneaking off to the bathroom, laundry room, dining room hutch.
What I am trying to say is no matter how the alcohol makes you feel now; If you are an alcoholic, you will end up in a place that you dont want to be. And yes, your admiration for fine drinks will turn into hatred.
Not too long after the picture wasn't quite so classy. Yes we would still visit these places, but I would go home afterwards and drink a bottle of wine (if I could get away with it); by this time my husband was trying to monitor my problem. But we alcoholics are sneaky .I had vodka hidden all over the house. So there I would go sneaking into the bathroom (classy girl that I am) and drink straight out of the bottle. On the night we did not go out I would always have a bottle of wine each night, my husband would typically dring 1 glass, I would have 3. When it was gone I was sneaking off to the bathroom, laundry room, dining room hutch.
What I am trying to say is no matter how the alcohol makes you feel now; If you are an alcoholic, you will end up in a place that you dont want to be. And yes, your admiration for fine drinks will turn into hatred.
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