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6 Days and counting... Hi I just wanted to introduce myself and say hi, i've been looking at SR for some time now and even used it for support in January when i stopped drinking for 3 weeks (my best yet). I've lost track of the amount of times i've tried to stop drinking but i quit again on Sunday and have been sober since. I think whats shocked me the most is how much i want to drink. I mean I REALLY want to drink. I get so angry thats its come to this but i'm sure this is something we all go through. I can't believe how much it tears me up inside. I go through all the conversations in my head about "I just need to find a balance with alcohol and am i really an alcoholic?"... well i guess someone who wants to drink non stop and thinks about it non-stop is quite possibly an alcoholic!!!!! Anyway I'm doing my absolute best to make this time the one. I haven't been to any meetings and i'm not sure i really like the idea. I really like the idea of online meetings and support. I can understand how important it is to share experiences but i'm not sure i'm ready to do that in public....but hey maybe thats why i keep falling off the wagon? ;-) Thanks for taking the time to read, i'll keep posting if you keep reading! |
welcome wibble :) you'll find a lot of support and good advice here - might help you answer some of those questions.... see you round :) D |
Hello Wibble, I have been around here for a while trying to quit too. Then I realised I don't need to try to quit, I just need to quit. Simple huh lol. I felt alot of the way you do, keep reading and posting it really does help. Sax |
Hey wibble, welcome to the forums! You will find tons and tons of support here. We know what you are going through... Personally, I just hit day 12 and this is the longest I've been sober since mid-April. I know I'm an alcoholic because firstly, once I get started with a drink, I can't stop. Secondly, because I couldn't stop when I wanted to. I just could NOT stop drinking. I put way too much planning into when I would drink, where I would drink, how I would get to the liquor store before it closed, how I would get home from where I was drinking, etc. When I realized what I was doing, it occurred to me that normal drinkers don't think of this stuff! They don't plan their days around alcohol like I did. Anyway, keep posting! I'm glad you are here. :) |
Congrats on 6 days! Keep posting! Keep moving forward in recovery! :atv I am an alcoholic. I tried to find that "balance" many times with no success--to try to drink like "normal" people>if there is such a thing--but found that I could not. It wasn't until I gave up my ideas/reservations about possibly one day being able to drink again that I was able to begin the road to recovery. Once I start drinking I cannot stop--period. Plus the mental obsession associated with drinking--finding/planning ways of drinking....took over my life. My life soon revolved around drinking...my activities, hobbies, friends etc. (That isn't really living--it is being in bondage.) Meetings have helped me--both online and face-to-face meetings. I do enjoy the fellowship of other members in recovery. Attending meetings in person is where I was first introduced to the 12 Steps--which has been a life-saver for me. Meetings are good and you can learn alot from them, but my experience is that working through the Steps with a sponsor has been the key to my sobriety. :ghug2 |
Its funny because as soon as some one mentions planning drinking my mind starts to swirl as i think about drinking, finding someway i could work drinking into every day. At the moment its beautiful weather here in the UK (Crazy idea i know!) and so lots of people are having bbq's at the weekend. My heart races when i think about it because i know its an excuse to drink and then sinks when i realise that i'm drinking....its almost as if i've ruined it by not drinking. Am i actually trying to say i can't have fun without drinking? Is that how bad i've become? It really helps reading and posting on here, helps so much to know there are others who have gone through this and come out the other side. Thank you so much for spending the time. Thank you |
Welcome back to SR Wibble!!!! I haven't been to any meetings and i'm not sure i really like the idea. I really like the idea of online meetings and support. I can understand how important it is to share experiences but i'm not sure i'm ready to do that in public....but hey maybe thats why i keep falling off the wagon? ;-) I will tell you this, there are no rules in AA, you do not have to say a single word if you don't want to! As a matter of fact the most important thing a newcomer can do is listen!!! I found out that if my lips were moving I was not learning anything!!! Call up your local AA hotline, ask them where and when some newcomer meetings are, also ask them if you have to say anything at any meeting just to make sure I am not making this up! Go to the meeting, grab a cup of coffee, find a chair, sit down and listen. When you are listening listen for things you can relate to, do not listen for differences, everyone is different! Listen for hope!!!! In my early sobriety I found hope in someone picking up a one or 2 month chip, when someone picked up a twenty year chip I honestly found no hope because at that point in time I did not believe that an alcoholic like me could stay sober 2 months, a year seemed impossible....... 20 years I could not even begin to fathom!!! I will have 2 years in September, I still find it hard to beleive that I have been sober this long. What I find the most amazing is today I could care less if I ever had another drink for the rest of my life even though I stay sober one day at a time, today I do not crave nor obsess about a drink. |
:wave:....Welcome! |
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