cmhcali

Why does everything revolve around me...

1) I want everyone to like ME
2) I want everyone to leave ME alone
3) Do not call ME
4) Why do you not call ME
5) Why do I not get the recognition I deserve

The list goes on and I just get stuck. How do I get out of my own way.

:wtf2

Aysha

Sounds more like self esteem more than self centered.
If you were self centered..You wouldnt care.
I get that way too.

AW2486

I think we all come into sobriety that way.. We had to be that way in order to survive out there drinking and drugging.

The program I belong to . AA .. is all about finding a higher power and working with others. Kinda deflates the ego and takes the control out of our hands. And it works !!

four812

hi cmhcali, I can relate and I also really got a kick out of it. I go through these things too. we all got something going on inside that we try to hide from others. We are all a little crazy and self-absorbed.

thanks for the smile

22NGONE

Cmhcali,

A self-centered Alcoholic? Are you kidding me? Really?

Just about every Alcoholic I know has listed selfishness and being self-centered as their number one character defects. You are no different.

I get out of my own way by putting other's needs first. I try to help others whenever I can and if I have to choose between doing something for myself or for someone else, I pick someone else. After a while it becomes habit, I promise. I also pray for God to remove my character defects from me so that I may better do his will throughout the day.

Hope this helps,

John

cmhcali

Thanks everyone I just smiled.... It feels good knowing that I am not alone. I sometimes feel like am I the only one that feels this way.

I love AA meetings (and NA for that matter even though my DOC is alcohol only). I can relate to every person at those meetings in someway.

I sometimes burst out laughing. The person probably thinks I am laughing at them but in reality I am saying I totally have done that.

GUess I am just looking for validation yet again.

Thanks everyone...

22NGONE

I believe they call that Terminal Uniqueness...

Glad you feel better and don't be so hard on yourself... somebody just told me that recently!

John

gravity

I tried to figure out which of the 12 steps helps remove my self-centeredness/selfishness. I think it is ALL of them.

I still have my bad days but nothing at all like I used to be.

Work hard and give it some time.

Time2Surrender

Many of us have these issues including me. Work the steps my friend.

Time2Surrender

Pretty much from 4 on.

Anna

You know what, I think that recovery has helped me a lot in finding my spiritual self. And, when I can sit quietly, really quietly and keep all the random thoughts at bay for a few minutes, I can listen to my soul. And, then it's not about me. It's about my soul's path in this life.

cmhcali

I went to a meeting tonight and the topic was spiritual death out of Just for Today. I feel like I am not connected to my spiritual side. I am trying. I believe in it 100% and I pray but I just do not feel good. Yes I am going to do the steps. Just doing the reading now and then I meet with my sponsor.

Anna

If you are interested,'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle is an amazing book.

It's about being able to put your ego aside and to follow your spiritual path.

'The Seat of the Soul' by Gary Zukav was hugely helpful to me in the early days.

Rusty Zipper

"Dont They Know Who I Am!" lol

for me, it was through the second part of A.A. that help with the change...

The Fellowship of the Spirit!

rz

cmhcali

Anna yes any book that will help let me know. I need to compile a list and read. I love reading. People have so many good suggestions and I read them in a post and want to read them and then forget what post they were on. Need to carry a notebook.

Rusty Zipper - that is what I am hoping for. I have heard some people get it at Step 1, Some at Step 3 and Some at Step 6 & 7. So hopefully I will at least fall into one of those categories. I am doing the reading so I am not sure if that constitutes as a Step. Does you sponsor tell you when you are at Step 1 or is that just when you accept it?

22NGONE

Only you can decide when you are at step one and all you have to do is admit it to yourself.

John

gravity

For me, Step 1 is about Acceptance.

I cannot drink alcohol. One drink will always lead me back to out of control drinking. Always. Powerless over alcohol.

I was always drunk, hungover, or obsessing about the next drink. Alcohol was my #1 priority and it was seriously damaging all other parts of my life - eg. family, career, health (mental, physical). Life had become unmanageable.

My sponsor agreed that this was step 1. By the way, I consider my sponsor more of a guide. He can't really tell me when I have completed a step but he helps me work through them.

I also read "A New Earth" and it helped so much - a clearer understanding of my ego, self, and spiritual nature. I also asked questions like you are doing - other AA members and here at SR.

I found that my spiritual awakening grew over time, as I worked through the steps. This has been the most amazing part of my recovery.

cmhcali

22NGone - Well it appears than that I am on step 1..

Gravity - Truly great advice. My sponsor is my guide. I just got my sponsor not even a week ago so I am new at this so that was truly helpful information...

22NGONE

Hi again,

There is a pamphlet that I see at most AA meetings called A Guide to Sponsorship or something like that, it pretty much outlines everything you ever wanted to know about Sponsors, look for it and pick one up.

John

RobbyRobot

hi cali,

ok, well, you know eh if you believe 100% and you pray then you are connected to your spiritual side! ok?!!

as for not feeling good , then that is a sperate issue. methinks you would feel much much worse if you were not conneted. please dont waste time tearing yourself down. it would be better if you searched other reasons for your bad feelings. for me, bad feelings always have connections with bad thoughts. mebbe you could start there....



RR