Angerrrr
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Angerrrr
I despise whining! But I need to vent so here goes.
I've recently noticed that my anger levels have increased a lot. Feeling angry is practically foreign to me; even though I do have a temper, it takes a lot to trigger me, and when that happens I express my feelings appropriately so to speak. Well, **** that!
Anyone who knows me is aware that I am not "mild tempered" by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm very easy to get along with. I don't go on rampages, yelling unnerves me, and, though I am direct, I loathe unfairness.
With a few weeks of sobriety under my belt, though, my discomfort is huge. I basically feel like biting everyone's ****** head off -.- I'd be a liar if I said I this surprises me, as I've always been all too aware of the anger that lurks within me - in fact, my therapist's pet theory is that anger turned towards myself accounts for a huge part of my depression. I agree with her, it's ***** psychology 101! But, as usual, knowing it is very different from actually feeling it!!
I'm angry at alcohol, my family, my friends, Life... and don't get me started on birds that start chirping at 5 AM -.- Mostly, though, I'm angry at myself for allowing myself to slide into this shi.tty situation in the first place. I know about self-compassion etc, but right now I want to allow myself to feel this way! I know it's healthy.
I have a humongous headache from clenching my jaw so much recently. I bought a box of wood chopsticks, and I'm gleefully snapping them into tiny bits. My fingers are raw.
Thanks for letting me vent
Matt
I've recently noticed that my anger levels have increased a lot. Feeling angry is practically foreign to me; even though I do have a temper, it takes a lot to trigger me, and when that happens I express my feelings appropriately so to speak. Well, **** that!
Anyone who knows me is aware that I am not "mild tempered" by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm very easy to get along with. I don't go on rampages, yelling unnerves me, and, though I am direct, I loathe unfairness.
With a few weeks of sobriety under my belt, though, my discomfort is huge. I basically feel like biting everyone's ****** head off -.- I'd be a liar if I said I this surprises me, as I've always been all too aware of the anger that lurks within me - in fact, my therapist's pet theory is that anger turned towards myself accounts for a huge part of my depression. I agree with her, it's ***** psychology 101! But, as usual, knowing it is very different from actually feeling it!!
I'm angry at alcohol, my family, my friends, Life... and don't get me started on birds that start chirping at 5 AM -.- Mostly, though, I'm angry at myself for allowing myself to slide into this shi.tty situation in the first place. I know about self-compassion etc, but right now I want to allow myself to feel this way! I know it's healthy.
I have a humongous headache from clenching my jaw so much recently. I bought a box of wood chopsticks, and I'm gleefully snapping them into tiny bits. My fingers are raw.
Thanks for letting me vent
Matt
Last edited by Mattcake; 07-20-2008 at 08:35 PM. Reason: Please excuse the expletives. I'm full of 4 letter words recently ****
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
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Awwww, sweetie. Here's a (((HUG))) for you, even if you don't want me to touch you right now. :ghug3
Last edited by suki44883; 07-20-2008 at 08:31 PM. Reason: **** **** ****
!Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Idaho
Posts: 23
Matt your emotions are no longer numbed by alcohol and are surfacing. I think this is totally normal my friend. Take it easy on yourself and just move through the emotions. It will pass.
Lots of love,
Crisp
Lots of love,
Crisp
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Anyone who knows me is aware that I am not "mild tempered" by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm very easy to get along with. I don't go on rampages, yelling unnerves me, and, though I am direct, I loathe unfairness.
I have no advice other than hang in there.This really is normal.I've been through it several times recovering.It really is as others have said-part of us un-numbing ourselves.All these emotions surface that we've kept down for years.Exercise helped me.Keeping busy-being active-anything to burn off the excess anger.Just a suggestion.
It's hard to deal with and you have my sympathy.(just stay away from sharp objects for a while okay?-kidding, kidding) I do take this seriously btw-just hoping you laughed for a bit.
My thoughts are with you.
Julesxox
Black and Yellow
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,359
I've noticed this about myself as well, suddenly, over stupid $**t, I get really pi**ed off! I don't like it, but I know it's normal and I just take a minute to
.................B R E A T H E.............
.................B R E A T H E.............
Seriously Fun!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
Well the good news is that you can see it in you. And being able to reconize it is the second step in learning to work with it....
(The first step is being angry, of course).
I'm not sure if there is a difference between men and woman and how to calm down, and find peace and relaxation...so I'll leave that to the guys who have been there.
But that would be the 3rd step....
:atv
(The first step is being angry, of course).
I'm not sure if there is a difference between men and woman and how to calm down, and find peace and relaxation...so I'll leave that to the guys who have been there.
But that would be the 3rd step....
:atv
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
JeepLady-LMAO! Noooo-I'd never be so underhand!(but lets face it-you're scary with those things!!!)....LOL
Nah-
I have had little time here today-I need to catch up on your thread.I hope you're doing okay too *hugs*
Matt-you'll be okay.Breathe, rant away, cry....do whatever you need to-just don't pick up.We're here for you and we understand.
Julesxox
Nah-
I have had little time here today-I need to catch up on your thread.I hope you're doing okay too *hugs*
Matt-you'll be okay.Breathe, rant away, cry....do whatever you need to-just don't pick up.We're here for you and we understand.
Julesxox
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Oh Matt, that was me. I had so much anger inside me and had for years. It alternated with depression through my life. Depression takes over when your body/mind/soul can no longer deal with the intense anger. I realized, starting recovery, that my anger was directed toward myself. I was angry that I hadn't stood up to my parents abuse, when I was old enough to do so, furious actually. I was angry that I had become an alcoholic. How did that happen? Recognizing the anger, and releasing it is the best thing for you. I journalled a lot. I wrote down everything when I was angry and eventually burned the journal. Things will get better and you will be able to get through this.
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
Hy Matty Luv U, if is any comfort I could I.D. with U
in every level of ANGERRRRRRRRRR! I my self been felling
very under the weather, very Angry Man, I don't even know
were 2 star, I agree with what was said we were numb
4'r so long that all these emotions are surfacing.
the Problem is not that we are feeling this F@@king
Uncomfortable feelings, and emotions, the Problem is How?
2 Channel them, I for once Don't know How? is freaking
scary the only way I could calm my self down is by Logging in
2 U Guy's, 4'r Guidance, so U did Good in Posting about it.
Hang in there Buddy, feel what, u feel, and even if U can't
put the finger on what it is, is O.K. This 2 Should Pass.
sending U some
in every level of ANGERRRRRRRRRR! I my self been felling
very under the weather, very Angry Man, I don't even know
were 2 star, I agree with what was said we were numb
4'r so long that all these emotions are surfacing.
the Problem is not that we are feeling this F@@king
Uncomfortable feelings, and emotions, the Problem is How?
2 Channel them, I for once Don't know How? is freaking
scary the only way I could calm my self down is by Logging in
2 U Guy's, 4'r Guidance, so U did Good in Posting about it.
Hang in there Buddy, feel what, u feel, and even if U can't
put the finger on what it is, is O.K. This 2 Should Pass.
sending U some
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Whoville (with Horton)
Posts: 121
Originally Posted by mattcake79 
I have a humongous headache from clenching my jaw so much recently. I bought a box of wood chopsticks, and I'm gleefully snapping them into tiny bits. My fingers are raw.
Matt
And I urge you - go on ebay and buy a punching bag, or join a boxing gym! LOL. Just some more practical advice to go with all the luvvies...
Last edited by Gertiegirl; 07-21-2008 at 05:13 PM. Reason: Pah - I knew uncomfortability wasnt a word, I meant discomfort. lol
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 47
wow..I'm right there...Matt
Only 17 days sober, but I go from feeling ok, to sheer madness. Its funny you should mention the birds..this afternoon, I was walking past my front door, & the sound grated like fingernails...
Hang in there, keep posting, peace I hear does come...for those who push through.
(((hugs)))
Suz
Only 17 days sober, but I go from feeling ok, to sheer madness. Its funny you should mention the birds..this afternoon, I was walking past my front door, & the sound grated like fingernails...
Hang in there, keep posting, peace I hear does come...for those who push through.
(((hugs)))
Suz
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Can totally understand as I'm having to deal with the feelings that I've been drowning for many months. I'm better at avoiding, burying these uncomfortable feelings, but that's not healthy. Depression is most certainly a lot of anger turned inward. Counseling is helping me, also prescribed meds are a big help to get me on a more even keel so that I am better equipped to deal with all these buried issues.
Hang in there. Don't pick up and don't give up. You're not alone you know. We are here with you.
:ghug3
Hang in there. Don't pick up and don't give up. You're not alone you know. We are here with you.
:ghug3
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