Aysha

I had a complete meltdown today.
I went to go get in my car to go to the Pdoc and then to work. I walk outside and my car is gone.
Yesterday I could have saved it with $318.
But you know. Me and my grams both found out who is real and whos not. yesterday.
Not one Friggin person would help us. It wasnt like. Let me get some money til who knows when. It was let me borrow it until next Friday so I can keep my car and be able to keep my job.
Not my father..none of my aunts..my cousins..or anyone my grams called would help. And she has plenty times given every one of them thousands..Even 10s of thousands in the past and never asked for a penny back.
So now that they have repoed the car they want $965 to get it back. I have 30 days to get it.
Now the big problem there is ..How the hell am I suppose to go to work?
Not one of my family members OFERED to help or work out something in anyway.
And my cousin who used my car all last week and made me miss IOP the whole time.
Didnt even offer anything. Not a hy I get done work right before you have to go. I work 5pm to 12am. It wouldnt kill her to let me use her car for a few weeks until I can get the money to get it back.
My family is so f***ing selfish.
Ya know..Thats all good. I dont need anyones F***ing help. I am going to do whatever I have to do and show everyone of the them I dont friggin need their help.
And I better never hear any of them ever ask me for even a penny ever again.
Funny how you find out whos down wwith you for real in times like these.
I am hurt. I am stressed. I am this close to a break down.
I have to call human resources tomorrow and see if I can change my schedule for awhile. I had to ask my one cousin to swing by and get me and drop me off if I get the same time to be to work. And after that..My grams is more than wiilling to come get me. And of course my aunt was like..shes not using my car..she cant drive at night.
My grams could drive circles around all of them. I am so hurt by them. I put my recovery on hold for my cousin. Now I cant even go. My dad fixed her car today.
When I told her they got my car today..First thing out of her mouth was...did you get the car seat out?

My grams told her to do that days ago.
My family can be so selfish.
But you know. I believe I will be ok in the end as long as I keep my head and heart in the right place.
Then there will be a time that comes when one of them is going to need something. And I am going to be like too F***in bad.
Please send me good vibes to keep me strong.
I need it more now than ever,
And I am not too mad. I am just like WTF..Everytime I start to do good and get going in the right direction. **** like this happens.
Its like I can win no matter what. I wondr why even bother.
But you know what. Its all good. I will come out of this.
I dont know how right now. But dam if I let this bring me down.

adore79

Sending you good vibes Trish. You are strong, you will make it through this.
:ghug3

Dee74

Shite happens Trish.
You're stronger than most - you'll get through this

you've got the right idea - keep yr head and heart in the right place.

D

Rusty Zipper

dang trish, looks like the shhit fairy landed!

miss chiy
yes...

you will...

the powers that be!...

and you have the right attitude!

go trish!

Anna

Things are difficult Trish, but you'll get through this.

lizw

sometimes. God/HP has you in hand. Some how it will all work out.

Can I also suggest that if you have anything more like those kinda of important payments outstanding, you contact the places and make some kind of arrangement so you're not left in the lurch again? God/HP does expect us to do the foot work eh?

:ghug3

RobbyRobot

Chi,

you're the best, and you know what goes around, comes around... and that giving spirit has got your back girl... you know it does, you know it. yeah, its all good. your so beautiful. sorry for your troubles and all... :praying

8

tommyk

It's a test... and you are passing.

Stand tall, be strong, do whatever you have to do.

You will get through it, this too shall pass.

suki44883

(((CHI))) I'm so sorry you are going through this. If there is anything I can do to help, please don't hesitate to let me know. Take care of yourself first, and the rest will somehow work itself out. Remember the old saying...it's always darkest before the dawn? Well, you're going through some darkness right now, but I have no doubt that you come through this shining like the morning sun!

:praying

Ananda

Hey Chi.....you are a strong woman and you can walk skilfully through this. I had a number of bad life stuff happen this week, largely related to my past drinking, but not totally.

Some one told me life happens when your sober just like it does when your drunk, but sober you can work on solutions...as you have been doing with your requests for help and talking with your HR.

Sometimes things just don't work out all hunky dory just because I'm sober...sometimes thing get pretty bad...but overall despite the rough spots, by staying sober and remembering to keep things in the perspective spiritual growth and letting go of fear as my motivating force my life is more rewarding today.

For all my complaints of the last week, my problems are small compared to the struggle for transporation to keep a job and attend my recovery meetings. You sorta gave me some perspective. Thanks. And I wrote this post as much to remind myself of what I am forgetting. I haven't done such a hot job on spiritual sobriety this week.

Thank you thank you

Impurrfect

((((Trish)))))

Hang in there, sweetie. You WILL get through this.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

lostmdboy

living life on lifes terms. When things like that happen in my life. I alwas have to look at my part.

Rella927

Trish you will get through this! Extra positive powerful vibes being sent to you

Yup everything in check and you are AWARE and with this positive attitude you are ok!

And something Astro always reminds me "Keep your side of the street clean" and your good to go!

Tazman53

Trish, hold your head high!!!!! The crap hit the fan big time and you handled it beyond well!!!! Hon you are getting there, just keep working at it, keep it in the day!

Klynn33

Chiy,

sending good vibes your way..........

I also want you to know - that I realize you don't think you are strong right now, but I've read this post and others of things you have gone through - and gotten through...and I think.....wow. if she can do it, then maybe I can.....

I hope this works out for you -
I don't get along with my family either, we actually don't talk at all- I was always the "odd one out". so I agree with your plan - get things looked after and show them you don't need them.
I sure hope they learn to appreciate just how strong of a person you are......

:ghug3

nogard

great attitude Trish, walk that way and it will be ok.

Kevin

Aysha

Hi ananda..Please dont eve think your struggles are any less sugnificant than anyone elses.
Everyone has their own personal hell.
I brought this on myself by deciding to put all my money in a crack pipe for almost 2 mos.
So it was to be expected.
I have noone to blame but myself.
What just had me upset was my family I always thought would be there to help.
And after I posted this. And even though I had to ask them instead of them offereing. They are going to help me get to work. My couisn works at 3:30 pm. So I called HR at work just now and asked to change my schedule to fit the times I could get a ride in. And she was wonderful. NO problem. My grams has been on a F you to everyone..speaking her mind to everyone lately. So I know she will get someones car to come get me.
I only need until the 3rd to make it happen. Which was suppose to be the deal with this finance company. They renigged. So I am dealing with a sheisty company.
But what they dont know. IS this girl came from the streets. I can play the game too.
So I know they think they got me. And the car wont be recovered by me.
I got news for them. 2 and a half weeks and I will have it back.
And the best part about all this.
Not once did I get an urge.
And on the 3rd when I go to get my car. Will be my birthday present to myself.
So ..I dont have an HP..Or put too much faith into "God".
Karma has always pulled me through.
Do right and right will happen. Like I said. As long as your heart and mind are in the right place. You cant go wrong.
I have so much experience and had so many unexplained events happen around this belief.
Praying to an unseen force to me is pointless. No offense to those who believe in that.
But I have found that KARMA. HAs been what has kept me going.
Thanks for all your replies.
I feel alot more hopeful today.
Everything is going to be OK.

nogard

A Power greater than ourselves can be anything and for me I do not need to understand, analyse or justify it, it just is and thats that!

(((Trish))) keep shining

SoBearish

Wow that is HUGE!!

Sounds like your passing this test nicely.

Super proud of you !!

Ananda

hey trish....one of my hps is karma the whole saying is

May We walk skillfully through our karma....works for me real well. And you are a good example for me of that!

Karma can be changed over time by our actions so just keep practicing

:day4