NeedingSerenity

I am new and not sure if I belong yet as I am not sober as I post. I have tried to stop drinking, usually only for a week at the maximum. I have great intentions, I am sincere in my effort, but...I drink again and the more I chastise myself and think about it, the more I drink.

I have had a DWI in 2004. Something I always said was reprehensible. I went to the alcohol classes hungover, once still drunk from the last drink at 5 am. I lied my way though everything, my charge was aggravated so I had to have additional counselling, I lied all the way through that just to go home after and have a drink. I have done other things I swore I would never do, I wasn't that "kind of person."

I grew up with alcoholics, one in particular so severe physically he almost died. I took him to detox at the hospital, I watched him as he went through severe withdrawl, yet I am here now, an alcoholic. This is the first time I have called myself an alcoholic. I usually find some excuse that fits to deny it.


I want to stop drinking. I am drinking as I type this.

I'm sorry.

Hevyn

How wonderful that you've joined SR! We'll help you and you'll help us. You'll be meeting an amazing & diverse group of people. Congratulations on your decision to change your life. I am living proof that you can do this - I was just like you - still drinking when I found SR. I'd sit and read other's stories and progress, always with drink in hand. I knew I was going to get there, just didn't know when. In January I finally tanked for the last time - I was horribly sick, hallucinating, drinking 24/7. All the things I had read on here had stayed with me, and I kept reading & started posting more. I knew I wanted to be one of the success stories. I also knew that if I stumbled I would not be kicked to the curb, but treated with kindness. Welcome to the beginning of your new life. Love, Joanie

dancinggirl

Please stay and read as much as you can! I'm on day three and these people...total strangers who have treated me better than family...have kept me from failing so far.
You can do this!
Heck....admitting it is almost the worst part, eh!? And you're brave enough to see the problem in yourself!

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, serenity. keep reaching out! recovery is possible, k

bruce24

Welcome serenity!

One step at a time, you admitted your an alcoholic and that can often be the hardest part. Make changes in your life and you can beat addiction. Fill your time with activities that make you truly happy. Keep posting too!! Everyone here has been really helpful and supportive. Heck, I'm only on day 10 and I feel like a new person for real this time. This is a great tool to help break addiction.

Best wishes,
Bruce

Hevyn

"Total strangers who have treated me better than family" - Amen to that, dancinggirl. Some refuse to understand or acknowledge what we go through with this disease.

Toomutch

Welcome Serenity-

It is awsome that you are reaching out to the people here at SR. This has been my lifeline for the past 4+ months. You will get alot of good advise and support here.

The guilt we feel as alcoholics is overwelming at best. But with time and sobriety and working on your recovery, that guilt begins to fade a bit.

I pray that you will find the strength to stop drinking - you CAN do this.

least

You CAN have a new and better life. You're here seeking serenity and this is a great place to start. Loving supportive people here. We help ourselves as we help others. You can do this! Keep coming back. Just a word of caution, you may want to have medical supervision when you're detoxing from alcohol. It can be dangerous as well as really annoying, so it's best to let your doctor know that you want to stop drinking. There are also meds to ease the withdrawal effects.

Whatever you do to get and stay sober, do it safely, and do it one day at a time.

:ghug3

SoBearish

Hello !

NeedingSerenity

Thanks you all for the warm welcome and encouraging words. I am worried about withdrawls but afraid to mention being alcoholic, I've vehemently denied to friends, family, heath care for years. I'm a little scared. Family isn't an option when it comes to support.

I've been prescribed xanax for anxiety/panic attacks which I am sure alcohol related. I was kept over night at the hospital because I threatened suicide, tried to cut myself and my blood alcohol level was .16, they weren't going to test me at first they didn't think I was drunk. This was earlier in the year. I'm very scared to tell anyone I am an alcoholic.

Thanks again for the warm welcome.

Rella927

Welcome Serenity! Glad that you found us

Sorry that you are going through this but look on the bright side..
you reached out to us and to yourself! And knowing that you are
AWARE is a great first step towards your recovery!

Keep posting as there is a lot of support here! Please check out the
"Alcoholism forum" and the stickies at the top they are filled with
a wealth of information!

Next.....you can work on a plan to stop drinking