the buzz
THe good "buzz" I used to get from wine is long gone. Now if I drink I just feel awful all over. I'm trying to remind myself constantly of how bad I felt during and after my last drunk, so I won't be tempted by a 'buzz' I no longer feel.
ANd it's great waking up without regret, not to mention the hangover.
ANd it's great waking up without regret, not to mention the hangover.
The buzz had also left me long before I stopped drinking, for a long time I drank to feel well again, only once I'd the drink on board would I feel normal.
Just before I stopped I would drink roughly a half bottle of vodka before trying to keep some food down.
Its funny how your mind plays tricks on you though, as I was doing my wee lass's bath tonight, I was thinking " a couple of wee voddies and an early night would be lovely" 2 wee drinks just to mellow me out and make me feel good.
Suffice to say I got through that urge and I'm ok but for goodness sake its only 10 weeks since I was so ill I could hardly function without a drink, where does the thought that it would mellow me out come from.
Just proves I've a lot of learning still to do I suppose.
Just before I stopped I would drink roughly a half bottle of vodka before trying to keep some food down.
Its funny how your mind plays tricks on you though, as I was doing my wee lass's bath tonight, I was thinking " a couple of wee voddies and an early night would be lovely" 2 wee drinks just to mellow me out and make me feel good.
Suffice to say I got through that urge and I'm ok but for goodness sake its only 10 weeks since I was so ill I could hardly function without a drink, where does the thought that it would mellow me out come from.
Just proves I've a lot of learning still to do I suppose.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
My "drinking career" was "only" 3.5 years in length. I remember the buzz in the beginning but stupid as this is gonna sound I have never liked feeling out of control of myself. Made me a crappy pothead and never did anything else. I started drinking basically to go to sleep but it went terribly out of control terribly quickly.
I do remember the relief that I would feel when the drink would hit, the puking would stop and the shakes would stop and I would feel normal. I would feel relief. Then I would feel terror and shame, guilt and remorse that I was that physically dependent on alcohol that I had to keep small bottles of wine in my purse and alcohol on me or with me at all times (including at work) or go into horrible withdrawals.
I don't need a buzz today. I get happiness from time spent with family, friends and my AA group, singing both kareoke and with a live band, surfing the net, working. It's not fleeting like a buzz, it is sustainable.
I see this was your second post so welcome to SR!!!! Hope you have many, many more!
Take care,
Kellye
I do remember the relief that I would feel when the drink would hit, the puking would stop and the shakes would stop and I would feel normal. I would feel relief. Then I would feel terror and shame, guilt and remorse that I was that physically dependent on alcohol that I had to keep small bottles of wine in my purse and alcohol on me or with me at all times (including at work) or go into horrible withdrawals.
I don't need a buzz today. I get happiness from time spent with family, friends and my AA group, singing both kareoke and with a live band, surfing the net, working. It's not fleeting like a buzz, it is sustainable.
I see this was your second post so welcome to SR!!!! Hope you have many, many more!
Take care,
Kellye
Hey Sprite,
I know what you mean. I still get the "buzz" too when I drink, but only after about the first one. Then it turns into drunken stupidness.
Hope we can both quit for good before we get to the point where we lose the buzz.
I know what you mean. I still get the "buzz" too when I drink, but only after about the first one. Then it turns into drunken stupidness.
Hope we can both quit for good before we get to the point where we lose the buzz.
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