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My Turn in the Frying Pan ...and I pray not into the fire~ I got one of the DREADED call-backs on my recent mammogram. ( I am not looking for any medical advice. I will get that on Wednesday with the doctor.) Seems there have been "changes in breast tissue since last year". I got the call on Thursday. My appt for my medical mammogram is this Wednesday. In the meantime, I had a wedding to attend today, a house guest arriving tomorrow for a week, my brother and his family visiting on Tuesday. I am completely overhwhelmed and believe God put these people here now to keep me busy and to keep my mind off of the possibilities. My mom and husband tell me not to worry. Call backs happen often. Breast tissue changes throughout our lives....I still worry. I am scared. I fear the worst. I am waiting for the axe to fall. Good news is...I have yearly mammograms and have since 35. I'm 39 now. No family history on either side (but I know that is NO guarentee). I was called back two years ago because of a density...When I went back no problem was detected. But the waiting is so difficult, Friends. I just want to know what is going on! Any words of comfort are welcomed and really appreciated. Yes I have wanted to drink alcohol. From the moment I got the call I thought....well now. Isn't that a valid excuse? But I decided no. That is not for me anymore. I can handle what ever comes my way with a clear head. I can do this. I can handle anything they will tell me. |
Liberty - I will say LOTS of prayers for you, but I'm sure you'll be okay. I say that because of your mention of the density issue. I too have that problem and its almost a definite chance of having to return for another mammogram because of density issues. Their machines have a hard time reading dense breast tissue, at least that's how its been explained to me, BUT the first time it happened to me I did drink A LOT and that was my way of handling the stress. I would not do this now because I've found other ways to deal with stress as you have too. Drinking also will up our chances of that specific cancer or so I have read and one more GREAT reason not to drink! Like I said I'll be praying hard for you this week and PM me if you just need to vent. You have a lot on your plate, but as you said staying busy is probably an order from above to keep you somewhat centered. |
happy you decided NO! Lib and we all can handle whatever life toss's us... as we speak, my sponser is going for rad and chemo for cancer... and the grace that man is showing is just awesome... at tonights meeting, he led it, shared like it was his last day on earth, from the heart and soul... and he ended it by saying... i'm scared, cried, and said... "today, i didnt have to drink over it!" all good wishes Lib love, bless rz |
Originally Posted by Horselover
(Post 1833024)
Liberty - I will say LOTS of prayers for you, but I'm sure you'll be okay. I say that because of your mention of the density issue. I too have that problem and its almost a definite chance of having to return for another mammogram because of density issues. Their machines have a hard time reading dense breast tissue, at least that's how its been explained to me, BUT the first time it happened to me I did drink A LOT and that was my way of handling the stress. I would not do this now because I've found other ways to deal with stress as you have too. Drinking also will up our chances of that specific cancer or so I have read and one more GREAT reason not to drink! Like I said I'll be praying hard for you this week and PM me if you just need to vent. You have a lot on your plate, but as you said staying busy is probably an order from above to keep you somewhat centered. |
Originally Posted by Rusty Zipper
(Post 1833025)
happy you decided NO! Lib and we all can handle whatever life toss's us... as we speak, my sponser is going for rad and chemo for cancer... and the grace that man is showing is just awesome... at tonights meeting, he led it, shared like it was his last day on earth, from the heart and soul... and he ended it by saying... i'm scared, cried, and said... "today, i didnt have to drink over it!" all good wishes Lib love, bless rz Tears, Rusty. Tears~ You have an angel in your midst. And you are one in mine for sharing that. It is beautiful. |
I have the same problem with density, Liberty and I know it causes difficulty reading the mammograms. I have been lucky or the past few years to have had the same dr, a specialist, reading the xrays. Take a deep breath and believe that things will be alright. Chances are everything will be fine. You can get through this. |
Originally Posted by 51anna
(Post 1833035)
I have the same problem with density, Liberty and I know it causes difficulty reading the mammograms. I have been lucky or the past few years to have had the same dr, a specialist, reading the xrays. Take a deep breath and believe that things will be alright. Chances are everything will be fine. You can get through this. Thank you, Anna. |
I feel for what you're going through. When I was 22 my gyno decided something was "not right" with my tissue and rushed me to a breast surgeon. I spent the week leading up to the appointment convinced I was a goner. It took the breast surgeon 5 seconds to determine that there was nothing wrong. Keep your thoughts positive- I'm sure you'll be fine- I'll be thinking good thoughts for you in the meantime. And congrats for not letting it drive you to drink- we all know that a hangover won't make anxiety any better! Best of luck! |
Hi Liberty, I too had abnormally dense breast tissue (at age 24!). My doctor at the time was very concerned and sent me for a bunch of further testing. They found nothing to be concerned about. I've had two other doctors since then who have both agreed that it is just normal for me, and that when I start regular mammograms they may have a hard time reading them. So, chances are they are just being extra-careful (which is a good thing). I will still pray for you, because I know what the waiting is like. Sorry you're going through this. |
Hi Liberty, I haven't had this happen to me-but I do know about waiting for further tests and how it can eat at you.I just wanted to let you know I'll be praying it all turns out okay and that your fear eases. Thinking of you, Julesxox |
http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/j.../sympathy4.gif Liberty, I sure can relate to the anxiety of playing the waiting game. A few months ago I began having several symptoms that lead my Dr.'s to run tests on my heart. The waiting was horrible but I had to have Faith that God would help see me through it . . . no matter what the results were. It was discovered that I do have Congestive Heart Failure, but I'm not in heart failure. Big difference there. I had a lump in my breast several years ago and my Dr. sent me directly to a surgeon's office. I had a biopsy done three days later. Those three days were the longest of my life. Once the lump was removed, the Dr. said that he was almost positive it wasn't anything but I still was terrified until the results came back from the lab. That week seemed to take a year to pass. Fortunately, the lump was only a fibroid tumor, which are fairly common in women and men! Please know that no matter what happens, you don't have to drink. You've got a really good start to a lifetime of Sobriety if you so chose. I honestly feel that God made sure you will have family to keep you busy while awaiting your appt. How fortunate for you! Many don't have their families around in the early stages of Recovery. I'll keep you in my Prayers! God Bless, Judy |
I just wanted to share that no matter what you are going through, you can do so without drinking. The fear is painful, but it will not kill you. It does pass. As you have seen, sharing it with someone else is one way of coping with it. Hang in there, and know that you are not alone. :hug: |
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! You have encouraged me to keep thinking positive! And I can do this without alcohol! Now I've got to get ready to go to the airport. I have a very sweet sixteen year old cousin who is coming to stay! Thanks you, Jesus! Liberty~ |
A reflection and something learned- With alcohol- I live day to day... I choose not to drink TODAY. Well, I am also going to choose to LIVE TODAY. I am going to enjoy my cousin, my husband, our children...I am going to watch their faces light up at the zoo. When thoughts of tomorrow enter my mind I will usher them out. None are promised tomorrow. I am going to use each moment today to His honor and glory. I am going to be truly grateful for His gifts of life and of family and of health. I have always known it should be this way. I have only truly internalized it this morning. Sobriety is such an amazing classroom, isn't it, Friends? I thank God I chose to put that bottle down 80 some odd days ago. It is such a blessing to learn so many valuable lessons about life! Liberty~ |
Hi Liberty..I know the waiting and not knowing is tough. I am so proud that you chose not to let this get you down to where you would drink. What graet strength that takes. And no matter what happens. That strength will carry you through anything. I am thinking of you. http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o...andprayers.gif |
Originally Posted by chiynita
(Post 1833293)
Hi Liberty..I know the waiting and not knowing is tough. I am so proud that you chose not to let this get you down to where you would drink. What graet strength that takes. And no matter what happens. That strength will carry you through anything. I am thinking of you. http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o...andprayers.gif You have brightened my morning! This house is in a good state of chaos....children dressing, cleaning, everyone excited~ There are no mistakes. God is great! I sneak back to my computer :) |
Megga Hugs and Prayers zinging your way (+) (+) (+) |
Well I took off with Mom for my scheduled appointment. I told a white lie to my young cousin who I did not want to burden. Had another mammogram then an untrasound. The verdict? Calcium deposits. They do not look troublesome according to the expert but she wants to check them again in 6 mos! I will follow up with her on that. No alcohol~ No hangovers- My celebration of the good news was quiet reflection and gratitude for all I have in my life...and for my newly found sobriety...as I steam my way to day 90~ May your news be good too, Friends. Thanks for helping me with kind words and sharing your personal stories. Liberty~ |
So glad you are doing well in your journey toward 90 days sober!! Continued good health for you, I hope, and many more sober days!:ghug |
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