JPat

but since this site is anonymous I thought I would bring it up. Even though it's anonymous I still feel embarassed, but here it goes.
I'm talking about bed wetting. I used to be an everyday drinker, but now I'm a binge drinker. So for the longest time I thought I had my problem under control *insert sarcastic HA!* so I'll drink anywhere from 1-3 times a week,but when I do it's usually about 8 drinks.
So last night i woke up in a wet bed (not for the first time) and as I'm sitting here writing this I feel depressed. Depressed because I have let alcohol lead me to believe that it's ok for a 32 year old woman to pee her bed. And when my alcoholic voice comes calling again, I'll just think "oh I won't drink that much this time" or "I'll make sure I use the bathroom right before bed" - yeah right. like i even remeber going to bed! My husband and I are sleeping in seperate beds right now, and I'm almost glad. If he had woken up with that - well, it would have been bad. I wouldn't want to be with someone who wet the bed.

Sorry for the gross topic. I'm on day 1 again.

tommyk

Most respectfully - you know what causes it, you keep doing it anyhow. Your point is?

Please think about that.

Keep coming back, keep sharing. We're here for you.

DSodaNow

Unfortunately, this is a topic that I think everyone in here has dealt with. It happened to me a couple of times to.

Glad to hear that you are on day 1. Try to stay in the moment of today and not think about last night.

Jomey

Jen, that's the insanity part in a nutshell. You GOTTA do something different if you want things to be different. I hope you find what you need to get alcohol out of your life. It's hard going, but I really hope you find your way. Prayers, Jomey

JPat

There's a girl in my class at school that openly talks about her previous drug addiction. She's been in recovery for 2 years and goes to meetings with her husband a couple times a week. I'm thinking about going to her and asking her for help. But i'm not sure - we're just friends at school and don't really know each other outside of that. I'm almost done with school and don't want my alcoholism getting around - I don't know her well enough to trust her with my problem.
But at the same time I'm desperate. I just can't do this anymore. I've been to a few meetings in the past, but felt weird and shy because I didn't know anyone (I'm not the best at making friends). But maybe if i knew someone there to go with it would be different? i don't know.

tommyk

Jpat - that's a fantastic idea, maybe go to a meeting you know she will be at and talk to her.

By the way, I found out I had to do ALOT of things I didn't want to do to get good recovery. One of those things was go to meetings even though I was uncomfortable. Now meetings are a habit.

There are no 'strangers' at meetings, only friends you have not yet met.

least

JPat, you're not alone. The same thing has happened to me too. Don't beat yourself up over it, just focus all your energy on your recovery. Stay sober just for today. Worry about tomorrow when it comes. :ghug

suki44883

I used to be in a relationship with a guy who would pee the bed on a regular basis if he went to bed drunk (which was almost every night). He was also a great sleepwalker. That made for many an interesting night.

Ananda

Thanks for bringing up this dificult issue. I wet my bed and my pants all the time when i was drinking. Yes...the obvious first step is to stop drinking. When I quit drinking alot of this got better. But additionally I have physical issues (like child birth and age) that have meant that this issue continues.

I won't even go into detail about peeing my pants when I got pulled over by a cop (sober).

I wanted to address the embarrasment issue....You know as we get older and life goes on we all will have these types of "embarrasing" issues to deal with. My brother has prostrate cancer, and one of the results of the surgery and everything is that he wets himself. His wife and he share a bed, and yes accidents happen....they still love each other and have found a sorta oh well this is what it is attitude that allows it to not be such a big deal...

So FIRST...get sober....later you may need to see a dr. I am having some surgery to repair my problem in september.

Meetings have saved my life! Just go.

JPat

ananda - thanks for sharing that. I'm pretty sure I don't have a medical problem, it's just when I drink - I drink so much that I don't remember passing out, so how can my brain wake me up when I have to go to the bathroom? Thats a pretty scary thought also - Passing out that hard. Just reason 9,875,355,475 why I should stop. But you are right - i should make sure it isn't a medical reason.

Astro

See, this is part of the magic of recovery, knowing that I'm not so different from everyone else. I was told early in sobriety that when I learned to recognize the similarities rather than the differences, I'd truly open my heart and soul to recovery. It worked!

Yeah, I had a couple of memorable events when I was younger, one night stands where I snuck out of a woman's apartment after wetting her sofa. And then the humiliation of running into that person again. Even during 2 marriages I'd wet the bed once in awhile, and lie about it being sweat to cover it up. Wow, how much lower could I have gone?

I'm glad you're here and on day 1 again. If you choose to stay sober, I can pretty much guarantee you you'll never wet the bed again.

Toomutch

Everything we do when we are drunk is sloppy and disgusting. We have all experienced shame for the things we have done while drinking. Put that behind you for now and concentrate on the day.

Congrats on 1day.

JPat

Toomutch - you are definately right! I used to think when I drank out with friends that I was all cute and funny. Now when I drink - all i want is to be alone because I know I'm disgusting. It just baffles me how i came to this, Alcohol has made me: fat, gross, a bed wetter, anti-social, awkward, depressed, have low self esteem.... I'm sure i can think of alot more to add to that list, but I won't bore you all.
I know in a couple of days - probably sunday when I don't have to work or anything, that I'll start rationalizing all this in my alcoholic mind and want to drink. I just really need to pray or something - because that is my problem. WHEN THE ALCOHOL CALLS TO ME I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! I just have no control over that voice and it's scary.
Does anyone have any advice? What do you do when your alcoholic brain starts planning out your next drink?

Any advice is appreciated, and thank you for the support!

Toomutch

Make a list of everything that you hate about drinking. When your alcoholic brain starts to plan its next drink, pick the list up and read it. And yes!!! Above all pray.

JPat

Toomutch
I tried a list once of reasons NOT to drink, and that didn't work and I threw the list away. But I'll try your list - Thanks!

Astro

NO is a word, when my brain starts thinking a drink would be OK, I tell it NO, and follow it up with the Steps and principles I've learned in the program of AA.

Total abstinence works for me too, I can't ever safely drink again. Each morning I remind myself that to drink might mean to die.

JPat

Ok - so here's my list:

1: wetting the bed
2: waking up in the middle of the night (i always have this scared,lost, and horrible disoriented feeling)
3: feeling depressed and hating myself
4: the look on m's face
5: feeling disgusting, worthless and fat

JPat

Astro - In reality, I know I can't drink normally (whatever that means). But the thought of NEVER drinking again scares me - and I'm not sure why. On the other hand, the thought of dying young and drunk scares me even more! Carol had a really good thread about people she knew that had passed away from drinking. I never thought that that could happen to me, but I know it will if I don't stop. I'm very confused and scared, this is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.

Toomutch

JPat- Good list!

The one I use includes specifics, like the humiliating and shamful things I have done while drinking. Just thinking of my last drunk works for me.
I also have to pray each day, several times, that the lord will stay by my side and keep me sober.

suki44883

Don't forget hangovers!