Hi, I'm nervous.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2
Hi, I'm nervous.
I just woke up from a dream in which I drank a bottle of stoli at my weekly dnd game of all places and spent the majority of my time trying to keep the guys from noticing. At the time felt myself slipping away from sobriety, and my only concern was people finding out what I had done.
The dream jumped to the next day, and I was in a car explaining to a friend that I had no memory of the majority of the game because I was "sick" and hoped that I hadn't done anything to weird. He said I was fine, and that no one noticed anything, and let me out of the car at my house. I was standing on my lawn, overcome with anxiety about how I would explain this to my wife, what it meant for me and issues with drinking, and a million other consequences of my actions, when I woke up.
Those first few seconds where I didn't realize that it was a dream were horrible. I believed that the last four-ish months were out the window, and that I was back at square one. It felt like failure, for lack of a better word.
Of course, then there was the relief - the ah-ha! moment where I realized that it was just a dream, like the ones that came before it, and that I hadn't decided to drink again.
But it still feels bad, bad enough for me to talk about it. So, hey there, I'm a few months into a life without alcohol, and this is probably the most difficult thing that I have ever done. How's your summer going?
The dream jumped to the next day, and I was in a car explaining to a friend that I had no memory of the majority of the game because I was "sick" and hoped that I hadn't done anything to weird. He said I was fine, and that no one noticed anything, and let me out of the car at my house. I was standing on my lawn, overcome with anxiety about how I would explain this to my wife, what it meant for me and issues with drinking, and a million other consequences of my actions, when I woke up.
Those first few seconds where I didn't realize that it was a dream were horrible. I believed that the last four-ish months were out the window, and that I was back at square one. It felt like failure, for lack of a better word.
Of course, then there was the relief - the ah-ha! moment where I realized that it was just a dream, like the ones that came before it, and that I hadn't decided to drink again.
But it still feels bad, bad enough for me to talk about it. So, hey there, I'm a few months into a life without alcohol, and this is probably the most difficult thing that I have ever done. How's your summer going?
Mr.MeToo?
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: East Coast to the Deep South
Posts: 828
dnd as in dungeons and dragons???? never got into that game altho i do play a lot of StarCraft Brood Wars. SHould check that game out, its old(like 10 years) but its the best Real Time Strategy game out there.
good job on the four + months clean bro, soon the days will start flying by and it wont even be a struggle to not use. Be safe and glad you joined this site. lots of great people and support you can find on here
good job on the four + months clean bro, soon the days will start flying by and it wont even be a struggle to not use. Be safe and glad you joined this site. lots of great people and support you can find on here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2
My summer would appear to looking up, thank you for the kind posts. I have played Brood Wars, although it was a long time ago - may give it another look if I can get it to run on vista; that's pretty hit or miss, for me anyways.
Gonna go check out the rest of the boards and see what's what, but if you guys are any indication, I'm really glad I posted today. Thanks.
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