Life With Social Anxiety and Drug Addiction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 39
Life With Social Anxiety and Drug Addiction
Iam new to this this site and would like to share my story.
Ive been struggling with social anxiety ever since kindegarten. I started running from the school bus as early as I can remember. My mom realized that she was going to have to take me to school herself. That didnt go to well. Some days were worse that others but on the bad days I would throw a temper tantrem or fake sick to avoid going to school. This went on all through elementary and middle school.
When I started high school was introduced to marijuana. That helped the social anxiety but took all my motivation away. I dropped out of high school as soon as I turned 16. Smoking marijuana daily and hanging with the wrong crowd took me nowhere fast.
For me, marijuana was definantly a gateway drug. Insted of a worring, socially anxious teen I turned into a conplacent, underachieving drug addict. By 17 I was addicted to crack and on house arrest. I lived this lifestyle for a number of years in and out of jail. At age 20 I tried to straighten up after getting out of jail. I moved to another city and did good for about a year but then fell. During that year I did manage to get my GED.
When I fell I fell hard. At 21 I was in full addiction once again. Insted of trying to get back on track I just went deeper into addiction. I started shooting up cocain and oxycottins. For for the next 5 years my life was a complete disaster.
At 26 years old I was put back in jail and sentenced to a state rehab. I was so tired of living the life I lived. I wanted to change more than anything. That was a little over 2 years ago and Iam still sober and living a good life. I got married on May 3 and bought and moved into my first house just last weeekend. Its only by the grace of God that Iam alive to share my story with others today.
Being sober today I face the same problem as I did when I was in kindegarten...social anxiety. The drugs and alcohol made me numb from pain and emotions. As I sobered up the social anxiety came back and steadily got worse. As happy as I am with my life, I know it can be much better without the sociaL anxiety.
Being sober today I see things in a new perspective. Life is much better. I hope this helps someone.
Ive been struggling with social anxiety ever since kindegarten. I started running from the school bus as early as I can remember. My mom realized that she was going to have to take me to school herself. That didnt go to well. Some days were worse that others but on the bad days I would throw a temper tantrem or fake sick to avoid going to school. This went on all through elementary and middle school.
When I started high school was introduced to marijuana. That helped the social anxiety but took all my motivation away. I dropped out of high school as soon as I turned 16. Smoking marijuana daily and hanging with the wrong crowd took me nowhere fast.
For me, marijuana was definantly a gateway drug. Insted of a worring, socially anxious teen I turned into a conplacent, underachieving drug addict. By 17 I was addicted to crack and on house arrest. I lived this lifestyle for a number of years in and out of jail. At age 20 I tried to straighten up after getting out of jail. I moved to another city and did good for about a year but then fell. During that year I did manage to get my GED.
When I fell I fell hard. At 21 I was in full addiction once again. Insted of trying to get back on track I just went deeper into addiction. I started shooting up cocain and oxycottins. For for the next 5 years my life was a complete disaster.
At 26 years old I was put back in jail and sentenced to a state rehab. I was so tired of living the life I lived. I wanted to change more than anything. That was a little over 2 years ago and Iam still sober and living a good life. I got married on May 3 and bought and moved into my first house just last weeekend. Its only by the grace of God that Iam alive to share my story with others today.
Being sober today I face the same problem as I did when I was in kindegarten...social anxiety. The drugs and alcohol made me numb from pain and emotions. As I sobered up the social anxiety came back and steadily got worse. As happy as I am with my life, I know it can be much better without the sociaL anxiety.
Being sober today I see things in a new perspective. Life is much better. I hope this helps someone.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi and Welcome!
Thanks for sharing your story.
I have a lot of anxiety issues too and I recognize that I would rather deal with those issues, than be an active alcoholic.
I hope you keep posting.
Thanks for sharing your story.
I have a lot of anxiety issues too and I recognize that I would rather deal with those issues, than be an active alcoholic.
I hope you keep posting.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Welcome!
I have an anxiety disorder as well along with clinical depression and am treated for these conditions by a doctor.
I would suggest seeking advise from your doctor to help with the social anxiety that you are experiencing.
Kepp posting here as well, you will find tremendous support.
I have an anxiety disorder as well along with clinical depression and am treated for these conditions by a doctor.
I would suggest seeking advise from your doctor to help with the social anxiety that you are experiencing.
Kepp posting here as well, you will find tremendous support.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 159
Hi Shorty,
Thanks for your story! Its really encouraging as I have also been an addict of marijuana and have seen the toll it can take on you emotionally and physically. I have been able to stay clear of getting into harder drugs but I have been very abusive with marijuana being a chronic smoker. Your an inspiration to me as I would like to turn my life back around as I start off on the road to recovery.
Be proud of where you've come to today and live each day like its your last! I wish you the best on overcoming social anxiety. If anyone can do it it sure sounds like you are equipped to do so. Would love to hear more about how you stay sober as well, and some examples of how social anxiety keeps getting the better of you. Stay strong!
Bruce
Thanks for your story! Its really encouraging as I have also been an addict of marijuana and have seen the toll it can take on you emotionally and physically. I have been able to stay clear of getting into harder drugs but I have been very abusive with marijuana being a chronic smoker. Your an inspiration to me as I would like to turn my life back around as I start off on the road to recovery.
Be proud of where you've come to today and live each day like its your last! I wish you the best on overcoming social anxiety. If anyone can do it it sure sounds like you are equipped to do so. Would love to hear more about how you stay sober as well, and some examples of how social anxiety keeps getting the better of you. Stay strong!
Bruce
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 8
Hi I suffer from anxiety and here are my thoughts - as strange and contradictory as it sounds, you have to work to relax and renew the way you think and interact. Drugs of any kind may make you feel better in the EXTREME short term, I mean hours, whereas if you did twenty minutes of a relaxation routine or meditation a day, you would get serious and long lasting results very quickly.
Plus you have to come to terms with the fact you will never be the idiot at parties dancing on tables, and why is it so bad to have an added layer of sensitivity?
Plus you have to come to terms with the fact you will never be the idiot at parties dancing on tables, and why is it so bad to have an added layer of sensitivity?
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Hi Shorty. I am so glad and honored to have read your story. Social anxiety is a definite big one with me also. I actually had a co-worker of my husband ask if I had a mental problem as I had such an issue meeting and talking with new people at his Christmas office party. I only went to that one office party with him then and we skipped the rest of the ones they had.
He started a new job here in New Mexico and we went to the Christmas office party and once again, terror. I felt like I was having a panic attack. We tried to sit with people at a table and were told they were saving the seats for someone else, which they were. We then took a seat at an empty table and my panic got progressively worse and we snuck out VERY early. Yup I definitely have the social anxiety, but mine has actually gotten a "little" better. I invited some neighbors over for a barbecue recently. I am working at a thrift store and that forces me to meet and do small talk with people. I am really forcing myself out of that shell and sorry about my ramble. I REALLY appreciated your post and by the way, I started drinking in high school because of my shyness and inability to hang normally with people.
He started a new job here in New Mexico and we went to the Christmas office party and once again, terror. I felt like I was having a panic attack. We tried to sit with people at a table and were told they were saving the seats for someone else, which they were. We then took a seat at an empty table and my panic got progressively worse and we snuck out VERY early. Yup I definitely have the social anxiety, but mine has actually gotten a "little" better. I invited some neighbors over for a barbecue recently. I am working at a thrift store and that forces me to meet and do small talk with people. I am really forcing myself out of that shell and sorry about my ramble. I REALLY appreciated your post and by the way, I started drinking in high school because of my shyness and inability to hang normally with people.
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