ROFL

Have you ever had a deja vu?

Day 1.

ROFL

Have you ever had a deja vu?

Day 1.

faith08

LOL
dear gal pal
if i've never said it
i hope ya know
i luvs ya

you make me laugh and smile
and the support is never ending
walk on, walk strong
and kick day one's a$$ each and every time
until it just lays down and dies an unnatural death!

least

I too would like to know why I can't stay sober for two weeks or more. I'm beginning to think there's something really wrong with me - obviously - that I can't accumulate too much sober time before falling off the wagon.

I so much want to stay sober but when stress rears its ugly head, which it does all the time, I cave in to the bottle. I'm really sick of myself. I want to stay sober but am so very afraid of my circumstances.

I am praying to God every day, all day, to please help me get past a few days sober without relapsing. I am desperate to succeed.

flgirl

We can do this girls! I'm on day 3 here and it's getting better. I am sending my love to you both!

tommyk

One suggestion gained from my own experiences - I used to say "I'd do anything to get better...".

The someone would suggest rehab, or a Higher Power, or the 12 steps, or something, and I'd reply, "Oh no, I'm not going to do that..."

So, I had to be ready & willing to try what I never thought would work.

Ask yourself, "What are you NOT willing to do for your recovery?"

Then try it, do it.

buttercup1

Unfortunately, this is where I belong too! I managed to get 3 days and then slipped last night....ughhh. Feeling terrible and don't even know why I drank as I had no good reason, just bored I guess.

Today, I pray that I won't be on this thread again.

colagirl

Oh, I have found my home! Today is something like my thousandth day 3.

Hopefully we will not be here long! Have a great day everyone.

HideorSeek

Great thread! Let's all stick together here. Maybe our little "club" of support will help us get through the nasties, boredom or whatever triggers us. I plan to post my progress daily. Hopefully that will keep me on my toes.

flgirl

HideorSeek,

I think that is a GREAT idea! I know that at least for me, I tend to isolate, think to much and not do everything that I KNOW I should do when I've had a bad day, and that seems to be all it takes. I'm am trying very hard to change that. I like waking up with energy and enthusiasm, which is so not there when I have been drinking. I've also started working on my "issues", which I think will help tremendously!

HideorSeek

Ditto for me! Let's remind each other how fabulous it is to wake up sober, remembering the night before, how proud we are of ourselves. There is nothing that a drink will make better. For me, it always makes things worse. We CAN do this together!

Theresa

In a post I read on SR someone wrote about relapse being a part of recovery. That thought is helping me.

When we relapse, we are not ready, for whatever reason, to go on to the next step in our life and must repeat our past steps: drinking to much and being sober again. Well that is no fun.

Instead of thinking that I am being overcome by a force that is greater than I can control (drinking), when I start to want a drink--or start to justify why I should be able to have a few glasses of wine--I try to ask myself if I really need to repeat the pain of drinking, do I really need to go back through that step again?

I agree, there is something about that two week mark, maybe it is no more than a pattern that some of us repeat. What if we just didn't?

least

I don't know why I can't get past a few days sober before giving in again to stress and drinking to escape. I am afraid to explore the answers to these questions. I am very afraid of myself. So afraid, that I can't seem to make myself get better. I want to get better, why am I afraid of it??

Theresa

I don't know but I know that that fear stopped me in my tracks last fall. I also knew I was soooo tired of being scared all the time.

I found listening to Eckhardt Tolle's discussions on YouTube helpful. He explains that our fear comes from spending too much time in our mind and focusing on the past (all our mistakes and missed chances) and the future (things we are afraid of happening). As a result of these views, we remain in a state of constant panic (which was and still often is me).

The humor in all of this (and I am really working on laughing at myself) is that all this time I have been spending fretting over the past and worrying about the future is keeping me from enjoying TODAY--now, just right now.

Intestingly, right NOW I have no real problem facing me--I mean just this moment. I know that I have bills to pay, a long list of things I need to do, etc. But this instant, I am not in pain or under threat. So I need to focus on that and then just slowly work through the things I need to do.

I am trying to see my constant fear as a perspective (past or future) rather than as something I need to better identify. Because you know, if I spend too much time thinking about my fears, again, I miss the point of just being Now--here, this moment, visiting with you!

LastTime

I'm really glad I found this site and decided to sign up. I am going through some very serious legal and personal issues due to my drinking and I've fully given myself up to do whatever is necessary to quit once and for all. This will be my day 2 and all I can do is try to stay positive and take it one day at a time.

Meg

iamsomebody

Last night, all I could think about was getting a beer, but I didn't. My significant other is being very supportive and he is joining me in this drink-free attempt. He, however, is not an alcoholic and I think he thinks that I think I just need to lose a little beer belly fat. I am having oral surgery today and will be taking antibiotics and painpills (lol) and I've made a deal with myself to stay alcohol free for the duration of the antibiotics (10 days) and by then, I hope I will be in control, rather than the alcohol. I know though that this isn't a good basis for quitting. Quitting will require admitting I have a problem, twelve-stepping, AA, and mourning the loss of that cold beer on the patio on a hot summer day and that glass of wine with a beautiful home-made dinner. Except that it never is just "that cold beer" or "that glass of wine." It's always a few more after that and every day seems to have its own reason to go there. I am already arguing with myself about whether I really have a problem or whether I can just take a break and then keep the drinking in the "social" range. This thread is coming at a really good time. Thank you for getting it started.

HideorSeek

I agree Theresa. I, too, read Tolle's 1st book. He said something like: all resentments are caused by thinkiing too much about the past and worry, fear, etc is caused by thinking too much about the future. Something like that. My therapist is a true believer in our "inner witness". By identifying with the "watcher" in us, it allows us to see our fears as temporary and not really "us". I'm not explaining it very well. But instead of saying "I am angry", say I "feel angry" and it sort of puts it at a distance. Does that make sense?????

iamsomebody

That's my tag line and it comes from a little book ($9 at amazon.com) entitled Always We Begin Again: The Benedictine Way of Living, written by John McQuiston II, a lawyer. It is based on the Rule of St. Benedict but it is much more accessible than the original text. It provides practical steps for living a life that is centered on TODAY, rather than the past or the future. Reading it always helps me (I too spend a lot of time Mondaymorning quarterbacking the past and worrying about the future), and the book is small enough to fit in my purse. Of course, rummaging through my purse right now, I remember taking it out and leaving it at home a couple of weeks ago. Yup, I keep doing that. Having good intentions and then sidetracking. Time to start reading it again. Always I begin again... Talking bout Deja Vu!

Antara

Least, I posted this in the other forum but I really wantd you to see it so I'm posting it here a well.

"Did you ever talk to your shrink? I'd be very persistant with both of your docs and remind them that withdrawl is dangerous. Should something happen to you, that sounds like a malpractice suit to me.

JMHO,

A"

PrimalScream

I guess I fit in this group...I constantly binge on the weekends...so I get in a good 5 days of sobriety every week but then get loaded on Friday and or Saturday. I'm pretty sure my biggest problem is smoking pot. If I don't have any pot I usually won't end up drinking 12 to 16 beers on a Friday or Saturday night...I am usually ready to go to bed after about 3 or 4, or don't even want to drink any. But if I have some pot it is on! Pot doesn't relax me as it does some people...it picks me up...it also makes me much stupider, or as I like to say ********, but it does pick me up and makes me bounce around. After smoking a joint I feel the need to continually drink beer to level me out. Drinking to excess without pot is boring to me. I have gone many months many times without smoking pot and rarely if ever drank to excess...I might have a beer or two watching a hockey game or going out to dinner but without the pot to wind me up I feel no need to get drunk. I have about a 1/2of an 1/8th (so I guess a 1/16th lol) of an ounce of pot left in my stash and once that is gone I am not getting any more. I know I can't stop drinking while I have that pot around...but I also don't think I am going to flush the pot either...I've done that so many times and then gotten so pissed that I had to go out and find some more...anyway...that's just addiction talking.
I'll be done the pot soon and then I will be able to get beyond 5 or 6 days without drinking. Good luck to you all!!