I'm a complete mess
 

I'm trying to quit drinking and smoking pot at the same time and what do I go and do? I drink 2 bottles of robotussin.

Sometimes I really can't stand myself. I'm not even sure what I'm addicted to anymore. I think I'm just addicted to getting messed up and it really doesn't matter what I take.

Yes, addiction can be like that. It can pull us in any direction and grab hold of us.

And, I do understand how you feel. I couldn't stand myself when I was drinking, either, I just couldn't. And, that makes it even harder to stop. Try to take a step back and reassure yourself that you can do this.

Focus on your recovery and take a look around here and read and learn.

Even when I was drinking the tussin I was saying to myself. I really don't wanna be doing this.

Now I've done it many times before and I've never really had a good time doing it but for some reason I cant keep myself completely sober. If I quit drinking I start taking pillls or something. If I stop smoking pot I drink robotussin. Or whatever.

God I hate myself

Don't hate yourself.

Greg,

Yes, you can get and stay sober.

I know how hard it is to be where you are. I was desparate to not have to stop and face myself and to look at myself. It kept me drinking longer. And, yes, it was really hard to have to deal with it, but the upside is - you can move forward from there.

Yeah, don't hate yourself, learn to hate your disease.

Recognize it, get to know it, understand how it gets to you, hate it.

Keep coming back.

it's the hating ourselves that keeps us there Greg.
We convince ourselves we're not worth it - things suck, we suck - why bother?

It's probably the biggest and most effective lie our addictive voice tells us.

You deserve better. We all do.

D

I think there comes a time when we become powerless over our addiction. You aren't flawed or weak. I have beaten myself up so many times it's ridiculous. You are trying and you are talking about it. That is a good start, man. Keep talking, make contact with others and keep believing. You're in a dark place right now but there is hope. It's hard as hell and I'm right there with you.

I have stood where you are standing now...I'm sorry you are going through this.

It seems impossible but it gets easier, it really does.

It helps if you have someone you can talk to. This site is amazing with the helpful and friendly people all wanting to help. We all know what youre going through.

Take it a day at time...A minute at a time, if need be....

You are worth it. You can do this.

Stick around gregg - many of us have been where you are at and understand. If you hate yourself, it makes sense that you would want to get messed up. However, as you have found, it isn't helping.
As hopeless as it feels, believe me when I say that there IS hope.

Greg,
you're certainly not alone in that. I would have taken so many pills that I'd be passing out. and with not being able to keep my eyes open I would do the rest. knowing I was going to pass out. don't hate yourself. hate the addiction. eventually you'll hate it so much that you'll be able to fight it off.
do you have a plan in place to get clean? that's probably your first step.

But don't hate yourself. You're not alone. Just know you are worth getting clean and having a normal life, and that it can be done.
keep posting and let us know how you're doing!!

Hi Greg. Don't hate yourself. We like you! We like you especially for coming to this forum and being honest and sharing your experience with us.

In my last relapse I HATED drinking. I hardly enjoyed one moment of it. And then the next day was the same thing again: I feel lousy, so I'll do the one thing that I know helps. Even when it was no longer helping!

We get habituated to these things. We don't know what else will help, so we do the same thing. Break that cycle. Get to an AA meeting. Keep coming back to this forum. As for help. That was the hardest thing for me to do, ask for help. When i finally did, I found that it was a wonderful experience.

I'll say a prayer for you tonight. Rock on.

We love You Greg! Keep Coming Back because Recovery Rocks and You ARE WORTH IT!

:ghug

~Peace~

Welcome to FlowerButterfly.....:wave:

Mega :hug: Greg
many of us got messed up on different substances.

Have you considered seeing
a specialist on addictions for help?

(((((((((((((((((Greg)))))))))))))))

Hi Greg- Have you ever considered treatment? :c041: