The Enabler
 

I am the classic enabler. I look at it as if I have a big heart, but from what I understand, I may actually be doing more damage. I am in love with a user. I have seen every possible side to this man, the lover, fighter, workhorse, and especially the father to my 3 month old daughter. This is the hardest battle that has been put in front of me. I am putting all of my faith into the lord to help him, because at this point I feel as if I am beating a dead dog. He has cried out for help, but is too much of a coward to go get it. They say rehab, jail, or death is the only way out. I don't feel that cold turkey is an option for him. He is burning more and more bridges daily, with family, friends, and his home. It is affecting a job that he busts his ass on a roof for 60 hrs, on a good week, to empty pockets the day after payday. I don't know what to do..I have given every ultimatum in the book, He is currently out of my home, and has moved on to his next enabler, the big brother...I am so scared that he is gonna die...it is taking over my life, because I am so worried about him. What should I do????????????????

Hi,

Welcome and I'm sorry for your position.

I'm glad you recognize that there is not a lot you can do until your husband seeks help for himself.

Have you considered looking into AlAnon for support for yourself?

Hey Sorry, welcome here. We can support you and tell you what we have done, I'm currently in the users shoes. i had to see that i was dangerous to myself (With my drinking) and my children, my wife and my friends.. Once i realized that I was really not happy with myself, and i thought of what others must think of me, I decided to quit.. I hope your baby's father does the same..

Heavy

Welcome Sorry :hug: Glad that you found us!

Please check out our Friends and Family Forum as you may find some more support
in that forum. There are stickies at the top of the forum that are loaded with a wealth of information!

Al-Anon is something to possible check out for yourself as it appears you are heading in the right direction knowing it is not you!

Keep posting!

Hi Sorrycuse7

I'm so sorry for your troubles. You will find a lot of support here. Unfortunately your husband is the only one who can choose his path.

You have to stay strong for yourself and your baby. Keep posting and coming back.