Silvio

Hi, im new to this forum, but I've been going to AA meetings for about 3 months, I even have a sponsor (only god knows why he wanted to sponsor me). But, I have still been drinking throughout all that, and as bad as ever. I don't know why. I'm getting to the point where physically, I feel terrible everyday, whether i drink or not, and mentally I just am tired, and out of whack. I am only 25 years old, so I know I have no liver damage or serious effects, but i do have the shakes everyday and can't eat, so I figure I need to stop this NOW, before I get REALLY sick. I know I'm an alcoholic, so there is no denial there.

I just can't believe I actually want to go to detox/rehab. I must be crazy right? I am scared out of my mind, and I know the hour long drive to this facility will be stomach wrenching and I might just freak out and not follow through. From what I understand, the place I'm going to (Fairbanks, in Indianapolis) is a high-end facility (thank god for insurance), but I don't know what to really expect. Can anyone share their rehab/detox experience? I would just like to know if it is like One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, ya know little paper cups, pills, and white gowns....

Thanks for listening.

Klynn33

Hi Silvio - and welcome to the site!!
I'm not able to share anything regarding rehab - only that I wish I had been able to go. I know people who have gone and recovered much quicker (and safer) than I did. I did want to tell you that you shouldn't feel crazy for wanting to go.......you should feel blessed to have the opportunity - and be proud that you are smart enough to know you need to. It takes amazing strength to admit you have a problem and that you need help. Please don't think too much about it - and talk yourself out of going. Tell yourself it's a step towards getting your life back. You are only 25, you have a great chance to get better and get yourself back to where you want to be in your life.

best of luck, and hope to hear from you when you get back about how wonderful it was and how well you're doing!!

Silvio

klynn- thank you so much, i need to look at it like that, but of course there is that part of me that says: oh, come on, don't inflate the situation, you are not that bad...just do it on your own like a real man...

But, that is pride+alcoholism and that combination hasnt worked for me yet..

Thanks again for the support!

tanyapmc

Hi Silvio and welcome to SR. The detox places are all different. Just go with an open mind. Get what you need there and get out and go STRAIGHT to a meeting. That is what I did this last time and I have been clean and sober for 17 months.

I think your sponsor saw something in you that you don't see in yourself. THAT is why he agreed to be your sponsor.

Please let us know how detox went. I look forward to hearing about your experiences in detox.

Hugs and prayers

tellus

Welcome to SR! I'm 22, and the thing I heard most often going into recovery is that it's great to start so young. It's great that you have a sponsor going into this, too.

No Big Nurse in the place I went to treatment, just lots and lots of worksheets/packets/etc. and a few people who were just as anxious as I was. For me, detox wasn't bad at all and "rehab" (I hate calling it that) was a really good experience.

Let us know how things go!

Rowan

Hi Silvio and welcome,

I went to rehab 5 years ago after relaping with booze and pills. It was a 28 day facility that dealt with addiction and mood disorders (I suffer from major depression). Overall, it was a good experience. It wasn't anything like that movie! I did have to line up for my meds but they didn't check under my tongue to make sure I swallowed them

When I wasn't in group therapy, I spent a lot of time walking the grounds and reflecting on my recovery. It was a good opportunity to become more spiritually connected.

Like Tan, I came home and went straight to a meeting. And then another. You get the picture

BTW, don't assume that your health hasn't suffered any serious consequences because of your youth. I know a girl in the rooms who is only 28 - she's got Hep C.

Good luck - and keep us posted on your progress. We do care!

Silvio

thanks guys...i still am not hot on the idea of being drugged. The drugs are for detox right? Cause, I don't intend on taking anything other than whatever will keep me from going bonkers during detox...

Thanks for the support folks..

Aysha

Never had to detox. Rehab was good. Not all white gowns and picking grapes off the wallpaper.
Good luck.

warrens

If it is a high end facility, it may just be the defining experience of your young life. And by high end, I simply mean where the patient comes first, the staff is experienced and competent, and the atmosphere is positive.

I know ell that ride. I went from an "intervention" to a 5 hour ride with my family. I was in shock.

Within a day of being there I felt safe and confident that it was by far the best thing for me. Too bad places like it are not available to all.

Good luck. Take it seriously and work on acceptance and you will learn a ton at an age when many of us wish we had been given such tools. I doubt you will see a gown. I needed no detox, however. It is just a highly controlled environment with a serious purpose-saving your life.

Hope to hear of your life altering experience.

warren

Klynn33

those are great stories everyone is sharing for you.......
(even Rowan having to have his tongue checked..teehee - of course they wouldn't have to worry about that happening with someone like me....the pill addict. be asking for more...gah)
and oh yeah........

oh, come on, don't inflate the situation, you are not that bad...just do it on your own like a real man...

takes quite a mature and strong man to admit (especially at your age) that they need help - and go through with the steps to achieve it.

Silvio

ty warrens and klynn...28days is a loooooooong time, if not for the regular person, for the drunk..I am soo scared, even though i know this is the best thing for me..scared of sleepless nights in a strange place, and of anything that might be disagreeable...but i still am going...thank you all for the support. Rehab is the kind of bell you can't unring, which is part of why im hesitant.

Klynn33

glad you're still going to go and give it a try. I know lots of people who let the addiction get out of control - I had one friend from back home pass away last week-end from an over-dose. I'm sure they would give anything to come back and have the chance at rehab. unfortunately they never thought they were "that bad" and could do it "on their own, like a real man" ring a bell??

don't let this get any worse. you're going to do great - and I'm sure you'll learn lots. and I'm expecting you to learn lots, and come back here to share your new found secrets with me
have a great time, look at it as the beginning of the next chapter in your life.

Silvio

thanks klynn, i too lost a friend to overdose, though it wasn't alcohol, but the same difference i suppose. My fear isn't so much of the place im going, it's me. I'm afraid that i will react too crazy or unwilling once i get there...I know what i want, but that hasn't always prevailed as the acting agent in my life. I want to dry out and get healthy, but evrything that is left in me will fight it tooth and nail all the way...and I'm worried about that part of me. I even have my clothes laid out for packing tomorrow...*sighs*..god help me. Thank you Klynn and others..

Silvio

Negative Man

Hi Silvio,

Pack three things: Honesty, Humility, and Willingness. You'll do great. I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

-- NM

Silvio

thank you NM...

i would rather someon club me in the head sometime tomorrow morning and just drag me to it, but i know that is not reasonable, as long as my brother is at work

But, this has to be done..for a 25 yr old to have daily shakes and such crap, is crap. Just means that I have little room to spare for my own bs...mainly, i am just scared of lights out, ya know when i have to go to bed, that part has always scared me in any situation, im not sure why..going to bed has always been scary...that is kinda screwy isnt it? I completely expect myself to be totally crazy for the first 4-5 days...and that scares me...i guess everything scares me at this point! Ah, well...I gotta be put through the ringer so to speak before my mind is clear and ready to recieve the message from AA. jeeze folks, this time tomorrow, i will be in rehab!!! F**k me, and let me be stoic!!

The other thing that drives me into treatment is being an example for my older brother and sister...hopefully, they derive something from this, even though this is essentially for my own life..anyone have any siblings that are serious users? They say to disassociate yourself from other drinkers, but how do u turn your back on your brother and sister???

Silvio aka Adam

Thanks again for listening to my drivel.

Taking5

Adam,

I actually worked at Fairbanks for about a month 15 years ago (before I became a candidate as a patient there! I was a young alkie-on-training-wheels then). They are first rate. No gowns I ever saw. We actually ate with the patients in the same cafeteria at lunch (These were the patients that had already detoxed of course), although we were discouraged from more than casual interaction with them. (If you ever tried to develop a romantic relationship with a patient you were fired chop-chop).

I was an accountant there, the health care and addictions professionals I am sure had different rules on patient interactions and you'll be encouraged to share your drinking and personal history with them as appropriate for your recovery.

I remember thinking that no one there "looked" like an alcoholic to me. The environment was nothing like the movie you mentioned.

I am sure you'll do great, the facility is very nice, in a great part of town, and they have been around since WWII so they must be doing something right.

I am pretty sure you'll be able to post here after detox, especially if you explain your intentions to the staff, so please do so and let us know how you are doing.

Silvio

dgillz- thanks man for being forthright....I kinda expect it to be insanely civil...but i feel i will be restricted for the first few days..rightfully so i suppose...i dont think i will have phone privelages until im out of the detox stage..I know nothing really until they give me the big assesment or evaluation..i told my friend that i thought i might not be there for 28days, that they might decide im not that bad and only a couple weeks would be ok..my friend just laughed...he said, i should expect 28 days, but im only 25 and they might not see it that way, which would be good...i will call them tomorrow and see what they say

Taking5

I would encourage you to do the full 28 days no matter how you feel. Trust me, after 2 weeks off the bottle you'll feel like superman. When you feel like superman is when you are most vulnerable. You'll think "I'll control it better this time".

Remember why you are there - not to feel better, but to get better.

least

The drugs you may be given during detox are only to reduce the withdrawal effects, which can be scary, and to keep you from having seizures during withdrawal. I doubt you'll be so "drugged up" that you aren't aware of things. Mostly it's for your own safety.

I commend you on your decision to stop drinking. You'll meet all sorts of people in rehab. And I'll bet none of them look like "alcoholic" or "junkies". Just people like yourself who want to live their lives without alcohol or drugs.

I'm sure you'll be fine. Just go and learn as much as possible. It is possible to live sober. It just takes some work on your part.

:ghug3

tommyk

Rehab was the single most fantastic experience of my life.