Hi guys
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Hi guys
I am really stuggling here. I understand that I need to be and stay sober. But I am dealing with some pretty awful stuff. I am sorry to lay this all on you, but I want to be sober more than I want to drink..please be gentle.
C
C
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
I don't want to post the memories on here, because that is a diifferent issue. I know that these issues have caused me to drink to just make it all go away. I traded one addiction for another...And I am sorry for that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Okay - I understand drinking or using other mood-altering substances or behaviours to forget. It gets easier, if you do what your sig says. The pain won't kill us, but it feels that way sometimes. Let yourself feel, if you can. Slow down, listen to your breathing. You're safe right now.
Wooli
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sheffield, England
Posts: 433
I have done that since I was 17, then last year when I thought I was OK I had a threat on my life and due to the subsequent court case I ended up drinking to sleep and black everything out. I realise that this is nowhere near as bad as some peoples experiences and it is on no way an excuse. I hate that I have an addictive personality.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I am sorry you have to be facing all these demons now. Sobriety is hard enough without all the other bs coming to the surface. You must remind yourself, as I constantly must, that there's nothing that drinking can't make worse. It makes everything worse. It won't even taste good cause you now know the beast for what it is: your doom. You must do whatever it takes to get you thru this. More meetings, getting professional counseling, lots of phone calls, and lots of time on here.
Remember the prize you're fighting for is your LIFE. You have the rest of it in front of you and deserve to be living it in the best of health. You're worth it!!
:ghug3:prayingfor you
Remember the prize you're fighting for is your LIFE. You have the rest of it in front of you and deserve to be living it in the best of health. You're worth it!!
:ghug3:prayingfor you
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I know that for me the feeling of not being safe can be very overwhelming...but the more times i walk through it the more hope i get that i can get past it and feel safe again.
I'm really glad you are posting...that is a very brave thing to do. I am with you in spirit....you can get through this.:ghug
I'm really glad you are posting...that is a very brave thing to do. I am with you in spirit....you can get through this.:ghug
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Hey flgirl--I don't know what you are talking about necessarily, but do understand that overwhelming fear/impending doom. When I feel like that I either call someone in the program or come here--usually the chat room. If no one is there--there is another online chat room I visit frequently. Just not being alone I have found has been helpful. Hang in there--just don't drink/use--no matter what! :ghug3
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 34
Lily,
I can only share with you what I have learned about me. I am not a counselor, nor do I recommend taking any counseling-type advice from anyone but a qualified professional. I can, however, tell you what I've learned about me and those in recovery who are my friends. I drank and used drugs because I wanted to change the way I felt. I didn't feel complete as a person. I didn't feel adequate. I didn't feel smart, even though I was an honors student. I felt ugly although I've always been told that I'm attractive. My feelings of inadequacy and the dependent needs and addictions that sprang from them go back to my childhood, as I know they do for most people. the difference, for me, is that I never found a healthy way to express my feelings to others who could help me go through them. whereas most healthy people go through troubles and have friends or family to talk to and share feelings with; I never did. I isolated and swallowed my bad feelings until the pain of their build-up inside me left me no choice but to lash-out in some way. abusing drugs and alcohol was a dysfunctional way for me to deal with my pain from the past. I started using in my early teens, and kept on until my late twenties. I now use a combination of AA and professional counseling to deal with my feelings from the past, so that I no longer feel so much of a need to lash out in other ways, either against myself or anybody else. it has been a tough road, but well worth it. I encourage all who might be open to it to consider professional therapy along with whatever self-help you can do.
best of luck
I can only share with you what I have learned about me. I am not a counselor, nor do I recommend taking any counseling-type advice from anyone but a qualified professional. I can, however, tell you what I've learned about me and those in recovery who are my friends. I drank and used drugs because I wanted to change the way I felt. I didn't feel complete as a person. I didn't feel adequate. I didn't feel smart, even though I was an honors student. I felt ugly although I've always been told that I'm attractive. My feelings of inadequacy and the dependent needs and addictions that sprang from them go back to my childhood, as I know they do for most people. the difference, for me, is that I never found a healthy way to express my feelings to others who could help me go through them. whereas most healthy people go through troubles and have friends or family to talk to and share feelings with; I never did. I isolated and swallowed my bad feelings until the pain of their build-up inside me left me no choice but to lash-out in some way. abusing drugs and alcohol was a dysfunctional way for me to deal with my pain from the past. I started using in my early teens, and kept on until my late twenties. I now use a combination of AA and professional counseling to deal with my feelings from the past, so that I no longer feel so much of a need to lash out in other ways, either against myself or anybody else. it has been a tough road, but well worth it. I encourage all who might be open to it to consider professional therapy along with whatever self-help you can do.
best of luck
Stopping the Train...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sevierville, TN - in the valley of the Great Smoky Mountains
Posts: 978
Originally Posted by ANGELINA243 
or come here--usually the chat room. If no one is there--there is another online chat room I visit frequently. Just not being alone I have found has been helpful. Hang in there--just don't drink/use--no matter what! :ghug3
Stick around...people care here...:-)
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Flgirl..I know what type of pain your in.
Not detailed but I have an idea. I think.
You are going to have to deal with it sometime.
There is no way around it.
There is no need to give details here.
But I really think you should find a professional to help you with this pain.
We are all here and ready to help support you or just lend an ear. Just be there so you know people are listening and just comfort you.
We all care.
But there is only so much we can do here.
I was told this many times.
You need to take action in dealing with it.
I know it's hard. I know it hurts. But it isnt going to go away on its own.
Please find help.
And I in no way mean this in a go away your bothering us kinda way.
I mean..You need to get help. Face to face help.
I am thinking of you.
Not detailed but I have an idea. I think.
You are going to have to deal with it sometime.
There is no way around it.
There is no need to give details here.
But I really think you should find a professional to help you with this pain.
We are all here and ready to help support you or just lend an ear. Just be there so you know people are listening and just comfort you.
We all care.
But there is only so much we can do here.
I was told this many times.
You need to take action in dealing with it.
I know it's hard. I know it hurts. But it isnt going to go away on its own.
Please find help.
And I in no way mean this in a go away your bothering us kinda way.
I mean..You need to get help. Face to face help.
I am thinking of you.
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