Advise on my teenage daughter
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Toomutch, I've only just seen this. I made the mistake of cleaning up for my son his whole life. I don't remember him ever even making his bed. I don't think he ever learned to use a washing machine. I didn't do him any favors by "helping" him - he wasn't even involved in that many activities & had plenty of time. I just tidied up for my own personal satisfaction. I'd just take care of the things that are health hazards (if any) and leave the rest. Maybe do a note, explaining cheerfully that you're really surprised & hurt that she'd not kept her word to clean her room - but that you'll not be doing it any more. Hope you have a wonderful vaca!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Wow! So many moms saying not to clean your daughter's room. That is probably for the best. My mom would tell me to clean my room, i wouldnt do it, she would yell and me but then go and clean it up, ALWAYS! Now I am 29 and still a slob, lol. Not blaming my mom or anything, i just find it funny that there are moms out there that wont clean their daughters' rooms. 
lmao
lmao
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I always had a fairly clean room growing up.
But I know my aunt would give my cousins ONE day to clean their ****. And if not..In came the garbage can.
So you know they thought it was joke the first time. They found out quick after that first itme when all their stuff that wasnt where it was suppose to be ended up in the trash.
They learned then.
But I know my aunt would give my cousins ONE day to clean their ****. And if not..In came the garbage can.
So you know they thought it was joke the first time. They found out quick after that first itme when all their stuff that wasnt where it was suppose to be ended up in the trash.
They learned then.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
I have decided not to clean the room. I dont know why this decision is so tough for me. I don't think I'm controlling, but maybe I am. Or perhaps OCD because letting it go is really bugging me. I tend to dwell on trivial things... What are some thoughts on this. Do any of the rest of you have little things that are just really tough to let go?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
well..if i am honest...there are many things I can't let go of....to deny it or pretend otherwise is very unhelpful for me.....I am learning to simply realize it isn't such a big deal....i have some things i won't really let go of but i pay alot less attention to them then i use to...seems to me letting go is a process not a burning bush event....so I aknowledge the thought, obsession, clinging and then turn my thoughts to the next indicated thing.
over and over and over and over again....then one day i do let go and it seems like it just happens in the wink of an eye...but there was alot that came before it.
over and over and over and over again....then one day i do let go and it seems like it just happens in the wink of an eye...but there was alot that came before it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I'd clean it because I am neat.
In my home...I expect others to be too.
I'd also have a new house rule...
no sports allowed if room is a mess.
and I define mess as clothes on floor
and dirty dishes in room.
That's what I did with a teen..it worked and ..
he now is a full time slob in his own home.
In my home...I expect others to be too.
I'd also have a new house rule...
no sports allowed if room is a mess.
and I define mess as clothes on floorand dirty dishes in room.
That's what I did with a teen..it worked and ..
he now is a full time slob in his own home.
Seriously Fun!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
If this were my situation, (and I have three teens). Two are slobs, and one is not.
What I do is this. I would only clean out the dishes and any visible food items. Other than that leave it. And then I would be mad as a hornet that she had LIED to me. When they tell me they are going to do something, I expect it to be done. And therefore, I would make sure she is not allowed to call or go out with her friends until the room is clean once she gets back. My home, my rules.
I also really clean the house before I go on a trip. Nothing finer than have a good time away from home, and then returning to a fresh, clean place.
What I do is this. I would only clean out the dishes and any visible food items. Other than that leave it. And then I would be mad as a hornet that she had LIED to me. When they tell me they are going to do something, I expect it to be done. And therefore, I would make sure she is not allowed to call or go out with her friends until the room is clean once she gets back. My home, my rules.
I also really clean the house before I go on a trip. Nothing finer than have a good time away from home, and then returning to a fresh, clean place.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Medina, Ohio
Posts: 372
What I have noticed is that it's hardest to change with the people we are closest to. Good job on not cleaning the room, I think you were just teaching her it would be clean when she got back.
John
John
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
I have to admit, I took out the dishes and the towels. 
There were alot of dishes, and only 2 towels. One of the towels was wet from her shower yesteday and just thrown onto the bed, yuck!
There were alot of dishes, and only 2 towels. One of the towels was wet from her shower yesteday and just thrown onto the bed, yuck!
Seriously Fun!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
Personally I feel that was a good compromise. Where I live the moisture in the air caused mold to grow quickly. I would have taken all that stuff out too. But then I leave the rest for my kids to take care of. They have to learn to be responsible for thier stuff, and space.
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