Perspective on "failure."
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
i think the preamble to the 2nd edition of the bb adresses this issue by saying that a certain % get sober right away, a certain % get sober after some relapses, and of the rest...those who stayed showed improvement.
I want and work toward permenant sobriety, yet i have seen people who don't get there but who's lives are vastly improved. Even that is a real blessing.
I also found that drinking was like playing russian roulet....you never know if you'll make it back...
I want and work toward permenant sobriety, yet i have seen people who don't get there but who's lives are vastly improved. Even that is a real blessing.
I also found that drinking was like playing russian roulet....you never know if you'll make it back...
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hmm...
I want 100% of everything positive and interesting.
I've never settled for a little of anything.
I kept striving until I found solid recovery.
Perhaps I am simply a MORE addict...
:
I want 100% of everything positive and interesting.
I've never settled for a little of anything.
I kept striving until I found solid recovery.
Perhaps I am simply a MORE addict...
:
I am feeling a bit more positive this morning, despite the fact that I dreamt about drink last night. On a plus side I didn't drink in my dreams as I knew I couldn't so I know in my subconscious that I have set boundaries. I am taking the family out to somewhere were I could have alcohol today, but I will stick on the soft drinks. My liver is hurting a bit too much to consider a drink anyway!!
I have decided that I am going to an open AA meeting off my own back on Monday in Sheffield, forget the embarrassment and trepidation.
And Hevyn, if they were bakers on London Road I would hope that your granddad was a Sheffield United fan.
I have decided that I am going to an open AA meeting off my own back on Monday in Sheffield, forget the embarrassment and trepidation.
And Hevyn, if they were bakers on London Road I would hope that your granddad was a Sheffield United fan.
jw its not us that wants us to feel that way...
remember, its called alcoholism, now alcoholwasm!
cunning, baffleing, powerful!
be it AA or not, thats a trueism!
even Aunt Tilly says that! (aunt dee)
good wishes on your journey jw...
rz
"failure" or a "loser."
remember, its called alcoholism, now alcoholwasm!
cunning, baffleing, powerful!
be it AA or not, thats a trueism!
even Aunt Tilly says that! (aunt dee)
good wishes on your journey jw...
rz
Let me preface this post by saying that I am way to new to this journey to offer anyone advice on how to deal with their situation.
That being said, I see many posts where someone got drunk and then refers to them self as a "failure" or a "loser." I don't understand that.
In my situation, I drank 7 days a week for as long as I can remember. I have now gone 2 days with zero alcohol. Even if I falter for the next five days, which I won't, I have still improved my situation by 28%. Take a more realistic situation. If I falter 1 day per week or one day per month, I have improved my situation by 85% or 96% respectively.
That being said, I see many posts where someone got drunk and then refers to them self as a "failure" or a "loser." I don't understand that.
In my situation, I drank 7 days a week for as long as I can remember. I have now gone 2 days with zero alcohol. Even if I falter for the next five days, which I won't, I have still improved my situation by 28%. Take a more realistic situation. If I falter 1 day per week or one day per month, I have improved my situation by 85% or 96% respectively.
I've seen and heard of far too many folks out there that try the route you suggest, I know where that road ends. Good Luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 20
i think the preamble to the 2nd edition of the bb adresses this issue by saying that a certain % get sober right away, a certain % get sober after some relapses, and of the rest...those who stayed showed improvement.
I want and work toward permenant sobriety, yet i have seen people who don't get there but who's lives are vastly improved. Even that is a real blessing.
I want and work toward permenant sobriety, yet i have seen people who don't get there but who's lives are vastly improved. Even that is a real blessing.
For me, I am continuing to try to improve. 7 days on this site, 7 days of not being drink and 5 days of no alcohol. I am happy and will continue to improve.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 20
That being said, the little math thing sounds like an attempt at rationalization. I am firmly of the belief for we addicts, the only "improvement" of our situation comes when we can attain a daily reprieve and sustain it everyday.
I've seen and heard of far too many folks out there that try the route you suggest, I know where that road ends. Good Luck.
I've seen and heard of far too many folks out there that try the route you suggest, I know where that road ends. Good Luck.
I am not suggesting that anyone should drink or that anyone should not strive for total abstinence. I just don't see how someone who used to drink 30 out of 30 days and now drinks 1 out of 30 days has not "improved" their situation.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 30
I agree with your views on this. I'm aware from (mostly) lurking here and reading (which, btw, I find very helpful) that the predominate perspective here is (or seems to be) that total abstinence is the Truth and the Way, so to speak, and that (and this is just my interpretation) anyone who suggests otherwise is in denial or otherwise on dangerous ground.
I understand that this opinion comes from a place of personal experience, of knowing of yourself (onesself) what works and doesn't for you, and I respect that.
But I also respect the perspective that you share...that any improvement is just that, an improvement, and should be celebrated and built upon. Success breeds success, and in my experience, keeping the mind in a positive place is SO vital. The way I see it, speaking for myself only here, is that if I treat any "slip" as "oh darn, back to day 1 again" I only set myself up for failure.
Instead, I find that if I consider such incidents as just a small set-back on the road as opposed to something that sends me back to the start of the road, my confidence and resolve increases and I am more successful in the future.
Yes, imo, if someone has been drinking heavily for a while and is able to cut back and/or abstain for significant periods, even with the occaisional use and/or over-use, those days of no or moderate drinking still count, and represent a victory in and of themselves, even if the ultimate goal is total abstinance forever.
I know many may disagree with me on this, and don't consider it possible for themselves or maybe even for others who've abused alcohol, but I think reprogramming our thought processes surrounding drinking and building new habits is a core part of recovery...to come to eventually think of and behave with drinking in the way "normal" people do; to not obssess over every drink or lack thereof.
And that every day (or week or month or year) we successfully remove alcohol from the center of our lives only builds on that.
(not to mention giving our bodies a break!)
Again, not suggesting such an approach is best or even possible for everyone, or suggesting anyone's personal experience in this regard is invalid.
I just know of myself that my recovery from what I see as a physical and psychological addiction (habit) rests firmly upon changing my mental perspective AND my behavior..and the 2 are intricately intertwined.
I understand that this opinion comes from a place of personal experience, of knowing of yourself (onesself) what works and doesn't for you, and I respect that.
But I also respect the perspective that you share...that any improvement is just that, an improvement, and should be celebrated and built upon. Success breeds success, and in my experience, keeping the mind in a positive place is SO vital. The way I see it, speaking for myself only here, is that if I treat any "slip" as "oh darn, back to day 1 again" I only set myself up for failure.
Instead, I find that if I consider such incidents as just a small set-back on the road as opposed to something that sends me back to the start of the road, my confidence and resolve increases and I am more successful in the future.
Yes, imo, if someone has been drinking heavily for a while and is able to cut back and/or abstain for significant periods, even with the occaisional use and/or over-use, those days of no or moderate drinking still count, and represent a victory in and of themselves, even if the ultimate goal is total abstinance forever.
I know many may disagree with me on this, and don't consider it possible for themselves or maybe even for others who've abused alcohol, but I think reprogramming our thought processes surrounding drinking and building new habits is a core part of recovery...to come to eventually think of and behave with drinking in the way "normal" people do; to not obssess over every drink or lack thereof.
And that every day (or week or month or year) we successfully remove alcohol from the center of our lives only builds on that.
(not to mention giving our bodies a break!)
Again, not suggesting such an approach is best or even possible for everyone, or suggesting anyone's personal experience in this regard is invalid.
I just know of myself that my recovery from what I see as a physical and psychological addiction (habit) rests firmly upon changing my mental perspective AND my behavior..and the 2 are intricately intertwined.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)