Doctor's . . . (ahem) crazy definition of alcoholism!
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Hopefully the doctor misspoke, otherwise he has quite likely given other alcoholics the false hope that they are not problem drinkers.
Although, I think if a doctor told me that- I would know deep down inside that he was wrong.
Although, I think if a doctor told me that- I would know deep down inside that he was wrong.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Let's hope so toomuch. He's 73 years old and he gets verbally abusive when he drinks. I don't like being around him and I don't like seeing what he does to my Mom. I am afraid I got my hopes up when he took any step at all and now he acts as though he's been vindicated even though I highly doubt he could go a whole month without a drink. Go figure.
I also think you may remember if you read a previous post of mine, which indicated my Mom has a problem also. They both were drinking every night, but she has stopped. She's not completely done with it, but she no longer is at it every night and she doesn't have any when I visit. She's trying and he's not. If it wasn't for my Mom I could care less.
I also think you may remember if you read a previous post of mine, which indicated my Mom has a problem also. They both were drinking every night, but she has stopped. She's not completely done with it, but she no longer is at it every night and she doesn't have any when I visit. She's trying and he's not. If it wasn't for my Mom I could care less.
Sober since 9th May 2008
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,973
Onion may well give him indegestion, especially if he's still drinking, I'd reccomend a nice sprig of parsley.
Freshen up his breath from that nasty booze smell as well.
Know its your mum your thinking of Horselover but the fact he was asking the question is a step in the right direction.
I probably realised that I have a problem with alcohol for at least 5 years maybe more, my sons 4 and I remember it was torture not drinking for about 10 days leading up to his birth as I had to make sure I could drive my wife to hospital, also remember taking risks when my 18 month year old was born and having a drink despite knowing she could be born any day. Luckily got away with it and was fit for the day she was born.
Realising my problem didn't mean I did anything about it instantly though, hence that was 4/5 years ago and here I am. Despite realising I had a problem I'd have swore blind to you I was not an alcoholic, my big thing was always not to get caught out, now...............
You can't make him face his problems, Hopefully he'll find his own time and place.
Freshen up his breath from that nasty booze smell as well.
Know its your mum your thinking of Horselover but the fact he was asking the question is a step in the right direction.
I probably realised that I have a problem with alcohol for at least 5 years maybe more, my sons 4 and I remember it was torture not drinking for about 10 days leading up to his birth as I had to make sure I could drive my wife to hospital, also remember taking risks when my 18 month year old was born and having a drink despite knowing she could be born any day. Luckily got away with it and was fit for the day she was born.
Realising my problem didn't mean I did anything about it instantly though, hence that was 4/5 years ago and here I am. Despite realising I had a problem I'd have swore blind to you I was not an alcoholic, my big thing was always not to get caught out, now...............
You can't make him face his problems, Hopefully he'll find his own time and place.
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"We consider someone an alcoholic if they cannot go without a drink for one month."
Doesn't sound like too bad of an idea to me.
Know very many people with a drinking problem that go a month without a drink?
(Be honest
)
I know when I drank it was suggested that I abstain from drinking for 30 days (in the Air Force). I came up with every lame reason i could think of NOT to abstain for 30 days. Fact was.... maybe I couldn't have done it.
There are many forms of alcoholism, and MANY people who are alcoholics could not even begin to go 30 days without a drink.
I say an alcoholic should give it a try before knocking the definition.
Doesn't sound like too bad of an idea to me.
Know very many people with a drinking problem that go a month without a drink?
(Be honest
)I know when I drank it was suggested that I abstain from drinking for 30 days (in the Air Force). I came up with every lame reason i could think of NOT to abstain for 30 days. Fact was.... maybe I couldn't have done it.
There are many forms of alcoholism, and MANY people who are alcoholics could not even begin to go 30 days without a drink.
I say an alcoholic should give it a try before knocking the definition.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
I guess what the doctor says erks me because I was sober for 7 years- then began drinking again. I don't think alcoholism has anything to do with the amount of time sober.
The doctor in question gave a misleading statement. JMO
The doctor in question gave a misleading statement. JMO
He who seeks, will find
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Galway Ireland
Posts: 35
well lets put a twist on this, alcoholics are very cunning and deceptive people, and have a unique art of convincing people in a very persuasive way and that is a fact.
only the doctor and your stepdad were present when the conversation took place i presume, would it be at all possible that your step dad doctored to truth to hide from himself and attempt to convince those around him that although he drinks regularly he indeed does not have a problem with it. And coz a doctor has said so, it takes a bit of pressure of him in the home place, cos doctors can't be wrong can they, so if you like just leave me alone now that I have proved to all that i drink alot, but im not an alcoholic. I would try this if I was backed into a corner, anything for a bit of peice and quite.
anyways, it may not me the case above at all, but it is worth considering. i have never meet anybody, including good friends and family members who are alcoholics that could talk their way out of anything in such a positive fashion, for the alcoholic to fail at this means giving up the game, that may not want to given up right now, in future maybe but now, NO.
Just a thought.
only the doctor and your stepdad were present when the conversation took place i presume, would it be at all possible that your step dad doctored to truth to hide from himself and attempt to convince those around him that although he drinks regularly he indeed does not have a problem with it. And coz a doctor has said so, it takes a bit of pressure of him in the home place, cos doctors can't be wrong can they, so if you like just leave me alone now that I have proved to all that i drink alot, but im not an alcoholic. I would try this if I was backed into a corner, anything for a bit of peice and quite.
anyways, it may not me the case above at all, but it is worth considering. i have never meet anybody, including good friends and family members who are alcoholics that could talk their way out of anything in such a positive fashion, for the alcoholic to fail at this means giving up the game, that may not want to given up right now, in future maybe but now, NO.
Just a thought.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
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I'm lucky I guess cause my doctor and my Pdoc both understand addiction as a disease and would never spout ignorant crap like that. That didn't do your stepdad any good to hear that.
Hope he sees another doctor.
Hope he sees another doctor.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Johneire31 - I think you hit the nail on the nose. I have since talked with my mom about what the doctor said and she said she has no idea how extensive they went into the conversation. I also told her that I believe time abstaining does not dictate whether one is an alcoholic or not because I have a brother-in-law that is proof positive of this notion. Had gone years without drinking and when he started again he went back to square one. She could not dispute that living proof.
She said she believed this notion could have been true because its been so easy for me to give it up and I said there's no way this has been easy. I have struggled over it, I have cried over it, and I have had quite a bit of anger about it. She doesn't know because she's never seen it with me. I also don't usually post when I'm feeling this way although I know I should, but I have a pretty good husband that talks me into sanity.
She also brought up the fact that I gave up alcohol and smoking so "easy" (once again) when I was pregnant. Admittedly it wasn't as difficult then because I was carrying my son and I new it wasn't forever. Just like Jomey, I saw a time when I would be able to have alcohol again. She seems to understand, but it is very hard for her to admit her daughter is an alcoholic. I told her I almost asked for a glass of wine quite recently at her place even though she wasn't having any. She told me she wouldn't have served me. Now that was GREAT news!!
She said she believed this notion could have been true because its been so easy for me to give it up and I said there's no way this has been easy. I have struggled over it, I have cried over it, and I have had quite a bit of anger about it. She doesn't know because she's never seen it with me. I also don't usually post when I'm feeling this way although I know I should, but I have a pretty good husband that talks me into sanity.
She also brought up the fact that I gave up alcohol and smoking so "easy" (once again) when I was pregnant. Admittedly it wasn't as difficult then because I was carrying my son and I new it wasn't forever. Just like Jomey, I saw a time when I would be able to have alcohol again. She seems to understand, but it is very hard for her to admit her daughter is an alcoholic. I told her I almost asked for a glass of wine quite recently at her place even though she wasn't having any. She told me she wouldn't have served me. Now that was GREAT news!!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
"We consider someone an alcoholic if they cannot go without a drink for one month."
Doesn't sound like too bad of an idea to me.
Know very many people with a drinking problem that go a month without a drink?
(Be honest )
Doesn't sound like too bad of an idea to me.
Know very many people with a drinking problem that go a month without a drink?
(Be honest )
the fact is..length of abstinence is a fairly BS indicator of whether you have a problem or not.
Many people who are alcoholics can, and do, go extended periods without a drink.
Effect is a far better indicator than pattern of use IMO.
D
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We all have opinions on what makes someone an alcohol and what doesn't. I really don't think there is an absolute answer to the subject. I've known binge drinkers, maintenance drinkers, weekend drinkers, etc., all alcoholics.
I like reading all of the opinions here.
My own opinion is whatever it takes to get someone to realize they are an alcoholic is a GREAT idea. If that means going 30 days without a drink, WHY NOT try it?
By far, the best indicator is the indicator that makes the individual realize he/she is an alcoholic. Whatever it takes to get the individual to define themselves as an alcoholic and/or realize they have a problem.
I like reading all of the opinions here.
My own opinion is whatever it takes to get someone to realize they are an alcoholic is a GREAT idea. If that means going 30 days without a drink, WHY NOT try it?
By far, the best indicator is the indicator that makes the individual realize he/she is an alcoholic. Whatever it takes to get the individual to define themselves as an alcoholic and/or realize they have a problem.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
...thereby completely missing my point, and the point of this thread, that the advice I got from my doctor allowed me to drink a few more years.
but...you're right in that whatever it takes to get someone to realise they are an alcoholic is a great idea.
:wtf2
D
but...you're right in that whatever it takes to get someone to realise they are an alcoholic is a great idea.
:wtf2
D
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
Originally Posted by Horselover 
My stepdad had a doctor's appointment a couple of days ago and asked the doctor what makes one an alcoholic. He was concerned about his own drinking. The doctor said (get this - drum roll), "We consider someone an alcoholic if they cannot go without a drink for one month."
Okay - is this insane or what?? I said I don't think its how long one can abstain, but rather what happens after the first glass. I mean I can control it for only so long and then I'm back in the passenger's seat and my drinking has taken over the driver's seat. I am saying eventually this happens. It may take a week before I'm back there, but I always return and so I am floored that a doctor would say this. Any thoughts?????
Okay - is this insane or what?? I said I don't think its how long one can abstain, but rather what happens after the first glass. I mean I can control it for only so long and then I'm back in the passenger's seat and my drinking has taken over the driver's seat. I am saying eventually this happens. It may take a week before I'm back there, but I always return and so I am floored that a doctor would say this. Any thoughts?????
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
HL, story time at SR...
i know a guy, that made it a point to not drink every april for over 10 years...
to prove to himself he wasn't a alcoholic,,,
well, the 11th year, a judge said he was, and now this guy has 8 years of saying, hi, i'm ...., and i'm a alcoholic...
that guy was, and stil is a major factor in my recovery today!
i know a guy, that made it a point to not drink every april for over 10 years...
to prove to himself he wasn't a alcoholic,,,
well, the 11th year, a judge said he was, and now this guy has 8 years of saying, hi, i'm ...., and i'm a alcoholic...
that guy was, and stil is a major factor in my recovery today!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Ive seen many people on this site, including a number of oldtimers, tell newcomers to try to abstain from drinking for three months to tell if they are alcoholic or not. I think this is a very good test.
Doctors dont know everything. If you think you are an alcoholic, it is up to you, not your doctor, to get better. A doctor can help you detox, and give you tools to help you to quit, but it is still up to you in the end.
Doctors dont know everything. If you think you are an alcoholic, it is up to you, not your doctor, to get better. A doctor can help you detox, and give you tools to help you to quit, but it is still up to you in the end.
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