dru

Hello. Wonderful group of people here.

I am starting my sober life today. i have been doing opiates / pain killers for about 2-3 years now. I have been sober for a day considering i smoked some marijuana yesterday for NO reason.

i was doing about starting off at 6 percocets a day.. 3 at a time. then gradually went up to 5 at a time. then 6 at a time.

i also did vicodin when i wasnt able to get ahold of percocets.

i was spending $800/mth on pills.

i almost ruined my marriage , my life and almost lost my best friend, my wife.

i stole from family , including prescription pain meds and money to get them.

i want to quit, i understand my problem / issues. I just need to find a free support group like a 12 step program around my area cincinnati, ohio. I make decent money but cant afford to spend that much on a program due to moving and buying new furniture.

currently my wife had me close my bank account and start depositing my checks into hers, i agreed to do so and have been for the past 2-3 months. she knows when i use the card.

i have alot of triggers but dont know how to keep them surpressed or stop.

i love my wife dearly and my family. I dont want to continue on this path, and i want to live a normal happy christian life.

What are some suggestions / comments please!

Aa_vark

Hi Dru,

Welcome. Ithought i'd pass on a couple links, this one is your area Narcotics Anonymous Website. Click meeting locator to find days and times.

Home

And here is the link to your Alcoholics Anonymous Intergroup website, and meeting locator.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS CINCINNATI

Im a recovering addict, and i attend meetings of both fellowships.

My suggestion is try many different meeting locations and days, you'll find groups that you really like. Also, introduce yourself as a newcomer, and get a phone list of people that you can call for support. Internet support is good, but recovery has happened for me face to face by working and associating with others in recovery.

Welcome to SR.

Aaron

Anna

Hi and Welcome Dru,

You've come to a great place for support.

Of course twelve-step programs are free and also the Salvation Army offers free treatment to addicts. Have you talked to your dr?

As for triggers, I think it takes a lot of changes in early sobriety in order to get through it. You might want to throw away some old phone numbers, drive home from work a different way, go for a long walk after supper, anything that is different from your usual routine.

Aysha

Hi Dru..glad you are here.
I too am going to start depositing my checks into my grams account.
No money in my hand...no trigger for me.
Hope to see more of you.

dru

Aaron,

wow thank you so much. seriously, i appreciate them websites. i searched all over and most of them wanted money to do the assessment which i dont have but i make decent money.... im going to start 12 step tonight or tomorrow night, which ever permits.

Aa_vark

I'm glad those links helped you Dru.

I can share this with you, that in my own experience, 12 steps is the reason i'm still clean today, after a stint in rehab in '03. As I checked myself in, my mind was opened enough to be willing to try anything to stay clean. Rehab directed me to 12 step meetngs, and told me simply, that if i wanted a real chance to stay clean, i would have to stay involved in recovery after rehab. And that i could find people who had found lasting recovery at meetings. They told me to do what those people did. I was desperate for recovery, and since ive got it, i dont want to let go. I'm still pretty involved in service in the fellowship, and i continue to go for many reasons. Mainly, though, because there was someone there to help me when i got there, and i need to be there for newcomers - in order to keep my recovery growing. I have learned and grown so much, and have a pretty meaningful life again today, without drugs and alcohol. You're gona love it. Its so much more the a solution to the addiction, its a new way of life.

Definately, give it a shot, it works if you work it. You never have to use again.

mle-sober

Dru,

Good for you for starting your new life. Although it can be very difficult and sometimes seem impossible, many people have gone before you successfully. It can be done. And the rewards are countless.

Hang in there. And give your wife some extra love and appreciation for being willing to work with you and try again to trust you. It took my husband almost 3 months exactly to let go of some of his anger toward me for lying. We are doing well now but he deserves enormous credit, in my book.

I did outpatient treatment that my insurance covered with a copay of $25 per day. Obviously that adds up but it was worth it. Have you called your insurance?

Glad you're here. It's a great place to be.

- MLE

dru

i have actually went to my first NA meeting last night. it was great. there was a speaker, open discussion and alot of people i could relate to. i believe im a member for a long time now. finally people i can relate to and not feel alone in that part of my life. i appreciate whoever made this forum b/c it seems to have helped alot of people, including myself already.

god bless you all and ill keep you updated.

Klynn33

good for you on attending the meeting Dru! glad it helped. when I was reading your post, it pretty much described me (except I'm not married) and I was running up to $1,500 a month on pills PLUS the ones I was prescribed by my doctor. (pills are expensive where I come from....jeez)
I'm glad you've taken the steps, and that you have your family for support. I didn't have that, but as much as I'd like to blame them for not being there, I'm pretty sure it was likely me who pushed them away. My only concern is your detox....are you doing ok? narcotics can be dangerous to come off of, just be careful, and see a doctor to help you if you can.
keep us posted, and wish you all the best!!

Rella927

Dru a lot of great advice and support already above!

Just wanted to say Welcome and glad that you found us!

Keep posting as you see a lot of support here-Glad that you
are choosing the path to recovery for yourself! It will be very
rewarding-

dru

as for widthdrawls. i honestly havent had that many..

my sense of smell is coming back, and im remembering more. b/c i have slowed down ALOT to like using once a week about 2 months ago since ive been depositing my checks into my wifes account. thank the lord.

as for NA, i believe it is going to help me tremondously (sp)... its alot of people i can talk to and relate to , and see what their success was built upon. again i cant thank you enough for the support you all have already given me. i know this is going to be my home for a really long time!

Dru

Tazman53

dru that is awesome, I am an alcoholic and AA did the trick for me, NA is very similar as to the final results...... a new life and a new way of living a happy productive life. You are lucky to have your family behind you, I darn near run mine off, when I finally figured out that I had to stop drinking or lose it all and die it was very close to being to late for me. My family stood back and took a wait and see attitude, the early part of my recovery was all on me and the program of AA.

Keep working it, it does get better, take it a day at a time.

Aa_vark

wow, dru, thats cool, im glad you've gone to a meeting already!

I wanted to thank you for posting this thread. It's given me a boost of renewed hope, which i really need. Yeah, i guess ive had ups and downs, as life goes on in recovery. Of course, it does.
Something amazing has happened once again, i still cant explain. As long as im willing to reach out and practrice the steps, and stay connected i know that i can stay clean today no matter what life dishes out.
I'll say it again, this journey of recovery has been so much more then loosing the obsession and compulsion to use drugs. I'm living every day now, completely free of the desire to use, and thats only a tiny part of the gifts ive received from 12 steps.
It looks as if everything has lined up for you, that all things are moving again towards good. Thats very much part of what ive seen to be the norm in recovery. Im grateful to have seen you share this, thank you. I hope other newcomers see this and find the hope and determination to work on recovery.
So many people struggle against addiction, and die trying to get step one 'perfect'. I find it to be profound that the solution started with surrender for so many of us. Many of us have survived early recovery without picking up the first drug and starting the obsession all over again. Just for today, we dont have to use. Thats the truth today, keepin it real. Talking with another addict seeking recovery again proven to be the best defense against active addiction.

Be well,

Aaron

coming_clean

it sounds to me Dru, you got all the answers and solutions allready, and ur actually quite aware of it as well, it took me almost four years to figure out what I wanted.

go for it, it's yours for the taking!