Hevyn

Least, this is no revelation, but you're holding yourself down by picking up again. The difference in your attitude when you stop is very noticeable - you're a whole different person, giving great advice to others, looking forward to getting well. You no sooner start to climb up out of the hole & you allow yourself to be drawn back in again. This must stop. You can't make any real progress in your life while you're in this state. You're just spinning your wheels. I completely understand why you keep looking for an escape, but you haven't given yourself chance to get any real sober time behind you. A few days here and there isn't going to give you the strength and hope you need. Like Dee, I feel I'm repeating the same things, and don't wish to bore anyone - but please stop sabotaging yourself by falling back on the same, tired old behavior. It hasn't worked so far and it never will. I went through many stages this past 5 mos. In the beginning I was the walking wounded - miserable and pitiful. After I saw that I was actually making it without liquor, I started to slowly look around me and say - hey, this isn't so bad - what have I been hiding for? Kind of like a flower opening to the sun (sorry). Then - happiness & joy slowly began to return. I was excited about something other than sitting on a barstool. I'll shut up - but I hope you know by now, I'd do anything to help if I could.

least

I will call my doctor on Monday and beg him for a few days of ativan to get me thru the withdrawals. I do want to stop drinking but can't seem to get thru the withdrawals. If I can get thru that then I can stop drinking. I really want to stop.

thank you all for your replies and your help. I love you all so very much.

Rowan

A supervised detox would be best, least. You don't want to mess with ativan. They are highly addictive, and could give you a whole other problem. It's not always necessary to use benzos while going through withdrawals. Your doctor can help you decide.

least

does anyone know any "tricks" to get thru withdrawal safely and with a minimum of discomfort? I can't get in touch with my doctor til monday and don't know if I can last the weekend. I'm trying, I really am, but can't deal with the shakes and agitation. I want to stop drinking, I really want to stop drinking. am just afraid of the first three days.

Dee74

I wish I knew an easy way - but if there was an easy way we'd all be recovered years ago.

only 'trick' I know is do stuff...keep busy...do anything but give in.

To me, in hindsight, a few days of shakes and feeling bad is nothing to the horrors of active alcoholism...

it seems like the worst thing on earth at the time, but to me it's certainly no worse than what we willingly did to ourselves...

I've done it. I know you can do it.
but if it gets that bad...find a weekend doctor. And listen to Rowan.

D

least

please pray for me, I am in bad shape

LosingmyMisery

I'm sorry you are going through this. I remember it well. What a horrible cycle it is. Pray for strength to get you through the next few days, Than, start on a plan to save yourself from this misery.

You need a plan and you need to immerse yourself into it. The deep despair that you slip into after drinking, why do we do that to ourselves? It is so unbearable.

You hold the key. Sobriety is your choice. You are the one putting yourself through this despair. Stop the cycle. Stop the shame and misery. We all know that drinking will not put more money in your pocket. It does quite the opposite, really. It keeps us from going out and bettering ourselves. You are the one holding youself back from becoming successful. Now what???? Save yourself and come up with a plan and stick with it.

Reach out for help and hold on tight. There is a solution. Go out and get it!

Dee74

praying for you S...but please do something more than lie there in pain.
Get help, make plans.

Miracles aren't delivered to us very often - most times IMO God comes to us by suggesting to us what we can do to get out of the hole we've dug for ourselves.
In the doing comes the blessing, you know?

There are lots of great suggestions here to start with.

D

least

I will begin my sober life, again, with the first step: that I am powerless over alcohol and my life is completely unmanageable. I will stay home til I feel more human again then tomorrow I will go to a meeting and ask for a sponsor. I want to bad to stop drinking but am so powerless. Even for something that's so bad for me. I am so sick of living like this. I want a better sober life for myself. THis is no way to live.

I need God's help to get and stay sober. Please pray for me. I can't go on this way. :praying

flgirl

Ok S,

New thought. You and I apparently have many of the same issues, for whatever reason(s). I messed up big time because I don't want to remember certain things. I had things buried so deep and for so long, it's not even funny. But then, I have been thinking. Would a loser go to college, get married (and divorced...LOL), have 2 wonderful sons and get a Master's degree that would help kids and use it? NOPE! There has got to be some reason that I was allowed to do that.

Just a thought, sweetie.

PupMum

I like your attitude Florida

((((Least)))))

Hevyn

My dear least & flgirl - I am praying hard for you both today. You each sound on the verge of figuring this thing out and jumping off the rollercoaster. Doesn't matter how many times you've tried in the past - it's only now that matters. Turning to alcohol to numb yourself will never get any better or different. It's the same tired, old, sick story each time, with the same tragic ending. I had to save my life. I tried to moderate for decades. I'm a slow learner. I got out just before the axe fell for good, I'm convinced of it. No more - this is the day you decide - it's over. I'll be thinking of you, praying for you to have strength.

flgirl

So can we beat the b*st*ds up?