ClaudePepper77

as for the lack of food, she should be encouraged to apply for food stamps.

this is an issue that hits deeply with me.

even people who make poor decisions (people like myself) dont deserve to go hungry.

but I completely understand the mother's point of view

RobinBird

Well, yes, I agree with you. Nobody DESERVES to go hungry. But when food has been offered and turned down because we won't give it to her in the WAY she wants, there isn't a whole lot I can do. We have suggested exactly what you did, that she apply for food stamps. We have invited her to dinner, we have suggested she get a job waitressing, and so on. She won't come here, we don't allow alcohol and her friends don't want to drive her from Hollyweird because it's just no "fun" to hang around with us. We won't give her gift cards for food, as she wants, because we know she'll buy alcohol and cigarettes. We've tried having food basics delivered to her from Vons, and she ends up "sharing" the food with friends or people she owes money to. Then her power got turned off and the food went bad. Enough!

The bottom line is, if she has shelter and food the only other thing she wants is to party. Perhaps when she doesn't even have that, she will get her own wake-up call. Nuf said.

laurie6781

Well since she is in Hollyweird the Church on Yucca still serves lunches every day and they were good and are good lunches, and serves quite a nice supper on Thursdays.

There are also other churches in Hollyweird that serve food for those with none.

You are right she just wants to party at this time.

I'm sure her 'friends' will turn her on to the Plasma place on Sunset also. As long as she shows up not too high, she'll be aable to "donate" twice a week and get pretty good bucks for that also to keep her going.

Yes it's been 27 years since I've been living those streets, however, I still have friends (sober) there who tell me what is still there and what is not.

:codiepolice is such a great reminder.

I know this is hard for you............................but as you continue to read and post here at SR you will realize you are doing the only thing you can for your own sanity.

Actually when I read she was in the Hollyweird area, my thoughts went GOOD she will see the worst much quicker than if she were in another part of LA. Hollyweird is quite an education!!!! Might be the best thing that happens to her in the long run.

Hope you check out the Friends and Families of Alcoholics forum on here, there are some really great Moms there who have gone through what you are now and have lots and lots of experience, strength, and hope (ES&H).

Stay strong.

Love and hugs,

Spiritual Seeker

Another mom here sending support.
It sounds like you know what you are dealing with and you understand that addicts
lie, manipulate and are untrustworthy. they are also sick and self-destructive.
Don't give up on your girl.

But as you stated, she has to get LOW enough that she will accept help.

Offer her the help she needs. See if her insurance has coverage to offer her.
Have a plan for when she is ready. In the meantime, you just have to detach
and protect yourself so that your own joy and marriage don't suffer from the sadness
of watching her self-destruct.

RobinBird

Thank you again, to everyone, for your support and strength. You are amazing. I'm heading over to an Al-anon meeting this morning!