Bootleg

Hi I am back... I was here a few months ago and managed to stay sober 18 days. Well I hit rock bottom since.. It seems like after I quit drinking my body just acted like a sponge and wanted only more Alcohol. I was drinking way more than before... and to make things worse I also added Cocaine to the matter.... I used to do this once every 2 months now it is every week... I have a family and it is time to quit and accept that I cannot live with Alcohol and I sure as heel cant controll it... SO here we are and back to day 1

I have nothing more to say than that I am happy I am back it feels like a good thing and that is a nice feeling from all the guilt and disgust from the last few weeks.


We have normality......................................

Spiritual Seeker

Are you in a group for support? It is impossible for an alcoholic to control drinking.
AA works for a lot of people when they work it.
Get to a mtg. Do it right this time to end your misery.

Good luck to you. If you want sobriety you will go to any means to get it.
Definitely sounds like your life has become unmanagable

CarolD

Welcome back...

Sooo...do you havve a plan?

Blessings to you and your family

Bootleg

My first step is not to drink ...... Compared to last time I have learned a bit more about myself and I now know I am an alcoholic and drug user..... I cannot drink ust a few beers and I cannot drink just once a week..... I cannot drink just wine and no more beer... I canot function properly with Alcohol in either work or relationship.. I cannot use drugs occasionally. I have a problem I know that for sure now......

About AA I am really really scared of going there dont know why

Tazman53

Do you think you are the only one afraid to go to AA? LOL

For many alcoholics there is a great fear of the unknown as there is with most people, for me I had a fear of sobriety which of course led to a fear of AA because I knew people got sober using AA. Why was I scared of getting sober? Well I had drank more then all my adult life, I did not know how to live as an adult sober!

I still laugh at myself and this "Fear" of AA, I walk into this room and I just knew I was in the wrong place, here were people who looked normal, they were talking, laughing, they had a twinkle in thier eyes and an air of confidence. I was drunk on my butt but I asked if this was the AA meeting and they suprised me when they said yes I was in the right place.

Then I was thinking they were going to throw me out because I was drunk........... nope they came up to me, shook my hand and let me know where the coffee was and that I was welcome there.

Well the meeting started...... I waited for the high priest to come and start some sort of mystic ritual...... you know all that stuff about AA being a cult!!! No rituals!!!! I was also expecting a Bible or the like to be stuck in my hand, you know all the stuff about AA supposedly being religous......... nope no Bible, Koran, Torah, or any other religous tome, instead at the end of the meeting a guy gave me a copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

Well no one held me after the meeting to force me to do any kind of weird dance or to chant anything...... no one followed me home.......... nothing!!! At the end of the meeting they did all say to keep coming back, it works if you work it.

That happened about 5 years before my second AA meeting, I was in detox then.

I got and stay sober using the program of AA, AA is not the only program out there, there are other fine programs out there, check them all out, if you are not sure about AA pick another program and work it, while you are working that program you could go to AA meetings just to see if you do like it.

AA is the only program at this time where you can find face to face support from other recovering alcoholics almost anywhere you go in the US and many parts of the world. There are folks who work other programs and go to AA meetings just for the face to face support. There are no rules in AA as a result if you want to work the SMART program and go to AA meetings there is no issue with that, out of respect for the folks in AA it may be best just to stick with support and not program.

Rella927

Taz said a good mouthful! Glad that you are back and do hope that you have a plan
this time! Plenty of support here-We are open 24 hours a day 365 days per year!

Glad you are here!

Anna

I'm glad you're back.