You Just Never Know
I am so sorry to hear this.
It really does make me think that I dont have it bad at all.
All the while I am doing all I can it seems to destroy myself for no reason and there are people like you who are doing everything they can to survive.
Take care and make each moment count.
It really does make me think that I dont have it bad at all.
All the while I am doing all I can it seems to destroy myself for no reason and there are people like you who are doing everything they can to survive.
Take care and make each moment count.
Trish
Just because I have issues with my life, my sister has issues with her life, you have issues with your life, all of us have issues with all of our lives, doesn't mean that our issues are not any more important than anyone else's. The issues that I have doesn't mean that my sisters issues are more important than mine and like wise.
Also Trish the part in the quote that I highlighted. It isn't YOU that is doing this to your LIFE, it is this damn addiction. I had a counselor one time that said she don't even consider a relapse in any Program until they have been clean for maybe 6 months of clean time. But during the first 6 months the way that she explained is that not only are we not mentally able to control any thoughts much at all of using but the obsession is a lot stronger during that time.
Also Recovery is a life time situation. I could just as easily relapse today!~ Don't think that my mind hasn't had the thought but that is all it is and whenever I get a thought like that I say "God, Don't let me think like that." and to tell ya the truth Trish I don't even have to believe that there is a God for it to work. Sitting here thinking.....
Well just want you to know that it isn't you Trish it is addiction. I still remember that first few months and I basically had to literly sit on my hands at times not to use. Sure I did want to use a lot but I just put it off, and I have been putting it off now for only a few 24's just like everyone else here. What do they say? If ya want what we have you have to do what we do.! Well I don't know about all that BS either but one thing I have learned if I don't pick up a needle of dope than I probably won't get high, if I don't pick up a crack pipe I probably won't get high, OK enough out of me I love ya....
OK THREAD is now un hijacked and I will make a updated post
Love ya Trish
Last edited by Luckyv2; 06-10-2008 at 07:24 AM. Reason: had to un hijack the thread ;)
vic, you're awesome. i'm so grateful i get to know you, even if it's via information superhighway. i'm praying for you and yours, sending positive energy your way... keep on truckin, brother.
much love.
much love.
OK so here is the latest. My breathing is a little better but not really. I am struggling when doing walking and stuff. Even sitting here it isn't easy. I will find out more tomorrow when I see my Doctor again but my oxygen level was at 90% yesterday which anything lower than that isn't good. Well I am sure it was lower than that when walking or whatever so that is why he bumped up my steroids and put me back on oxygen. He thought this would hopefully kick it but as I am feeling this morning it hasn't kicked it IMO> LMAO
Now to my Sister
Well they want to put a Trake (sp) in her. That is where there is a hole in your throat so you can breath and get better oxygen flow. She is scheduled to have this done today I guess. There is a long period of rebuilding after this also and during that time she will remain on the ventilator. Now this ventilator deal has no guarantee's that you will be able to breath on your own even after taking it off. I know that they told me that I was pretty tricky and it was hard for them to know I was or wasn't breathing on my own.
So with her being on the ventilator she woke up this morning while on it her eyes were bugged out. She could hear me though. I talked with her and mentioned about the hole thing to her because her son said that she wanted it done. I asked her again and made sure she knew that there would be a hole in her throat and she would have to use a machine to put to her throat to be able to talk anymore. She said that she understood, however this is what confuses me. When I was on they said that I talked to them. Now I don't remember that, and if they were asking me things like that and I don't remember well I guess I am just confused.
So I am going to go back up here in the early afternoon probably around 2:30 or so and spend the time with here until my Happy Hour Meeting that starts at 4:30 than I will come home and get some more things done that need to get done. I already took Chance out to the Bark Park this morning so I have been pretty busy LOL
So keep her in your prayers if ya pray and if ya mediate well keep her in your thoughts. Thanks for allowing a junkie like me here.
Now to my Sister
Well they want to put a Trake (sp) in her. That is where there is a hole in your throat so you can breath and get better oxygen flow. She is scheduled to have this done today I guess. There is a long period of rebuilding after this also and during that time she will remain on the ventilator. Now this ventilator deal has no guarantee's that you will be able to breath on your own even after taking it off. I know that they told me that I was pretty tricky and it was hard for them to know I was or wasn't breathing on my own.
So with her being on the ventilator she woke up this morning while on it her eyes were bugged out. She could hear me though. I talked with her and mentioned about the hole thing to her because her son said that she wanted it done. I asked her again and made sure she knew that there would be a hole in her throat and she would have to use a machine to put to her throat to be able to talk anymore. She said that she understood, however this is what confuses me. When I was on they said that I talked to them. Now I don't remember that, and if they were asking me things like that and I don't remember well I guess I am just confused.
So I am going to go back up here in the early afternoon probably around 2:30 or so and spend the time with here until my Happy Hour Meeting that starts at 4:30 than I will come home and get some more things done that need to get done. I already took Chance out to the Bark Park this morning so I have been pretty busy LOL
So keep her in your prayers if ya pray and if ya mediate well keep her in your thoughts. Thanks for allowing a junkie like me here.
(((Vic)))
With the trach, they have some that you can cover a part of it to talk. If she is totally dependent on the ventilator, though, most of the time they can't talk (I've been out of nursing for 4 years, so I'm sure things have advanced). The trach is good for her medically and mentally...easier to wean off and much more comfortable.
I hope the steroids kick in and get your 02 saturation back to 92% or better
I loved your post to Trish...some days the best I can do is not pick up a crack pipe and that's okay. Once I get past that feeling, my recovery gets a little stronger.
Still sending hugs and prayers to you and your sister!
Amy
With the trach, they have some that you can cover a part of it to talk. If she is totally dependent on the ventilator, though, most of the time they can't talk (I've been out of nursing for 4 years, so I'm sure things have advanced). The trach is good for her medically and mentally...easier to wean off and much more comfortable.
I hope the steroids kick in and get your 02 saturation back to 92% or better
I loved your post to Trish...some days the best I can do is not pick up a crack pipe and that's okay. Once I get past that feeling, my recovery gets a little stronger.
Still sending hugs and prayers to you and your sister!
Amy
Well hello everyone!
Went to the Doctor yesterday morning and my condition hasn't improved I will have to make this short here though because I am really behind on my work....
Doctor raised my steroids up to 120mgs a day for two days, on day two now. Than down to 100mgs a day until I see him on Monday. Even though no signs of infection gave me anitbiotics just in case a strong dose of something....
Oxygen level on machine 3ltrs. Last check on wednesday was that I had 95% flow with that.
Sister had her surgery last night haven't even had time to get up there yet this morning or maybe it is based on fear? I will leave here soon though to get up there to be with her.
She is alive and wrote me a note yesterday..."I Love You Brother" I have cried almost all day yesterday and again today. I just can't help but to think what it would be like to live like that being on the ventilator the rest of your life. I will not get there..I refuse to allow anyone to keep me alive like that for if I can't breath on my own I don't want it. Yeah they could put me on it for a little while to see if I can again breath but I would be very upset if someone kept me on it for more than a month.
Well I made a dedication page for my Sister that is all I will say about that LMAO
Hope ya all are doing well and hopefully that you all have a blessed day.
Keep coming back or like I like to say Keep on Keeping ON
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Went to the Doctor yesterday morning and my condition hasn't improved I will have to make this short here though because I am really behind on my work....
Doctor raised my steroids up to 120mgs a day for two days, on day two now. Than down to 100mgs a day until I see him on Monday. Even though no signs of infection gave me anitbiotics just in case a strong dose of something....
Oxygen level on machine 3ltrs. Last check on wednesday was that I had 95% flow with that.
Sister had her surgery last night haven't even had time to get up there yet this morning or maybe it is based on fear? I will leave here soon though to get up there to be with her.
She is alive and wrote me a note yesterday..."I Love You Brother" I have cried almost all day yesterday and again today. I just can't help but to think what it would be like to live like that being on the ventilator the rest of your life. I will not get there..I refuse to allow anyone to keep me alive like that for if I can't breath on my own I don't want it. Yeah they could put me on it for a little while to see if I can again breath but I would be very upset if someone kept me on it for more than a month.
Well I made a dedication page for my Sister that is all I will say about that LMAO
Hope ya all are doing well and hopefully that you all have a blessed day.
Keep coming back or like I like to say Keep on Keeping ON
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Thanks for the update, Vic. A lot of times, people can wean off the ventilator thanks to the trach, or at least spend some time off of it. I'm hoping that is the case with your sister.
I hope the steroids kick in and YOUR breathing gets better soon. 95% sounds pretty darn good, though.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I hope the steroids kick in and YOUR breathing gets better soon. 95% sounds pretty darn good, though.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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