flgirl

Hi guys,

I have made it 14 days, so far. I thank each and every one of you that has supported, befriended and helped me! I can't even tell you the last time I had 14 hours without a drink, let alone 14 days!!

I've been riding the rollercoaster up and down for the past few days. The cravings seem to be coming more regularly, and I think it's because I am being forced to deal with things that I otherwise would have just drunk away. I am an expert at being an ostrich...stick your head in the sand and all your problems disappear! Physically I feel fantastic! Mentally and emotionally, it's a whole other story. I don't pick up a drink, I go to meetings, I talk with my sponsor and I'm trying really hard to just stay in today.

Some things I've learned in the past 2 weeks:
1. I AM an alcoholic
2. Don't pick up a drink just for today.
3. Go to meetings every day, especially when I don't feel like going.
4. Talk to my sponsor about things that are bothering me instead of keeping them bottled up inside and isolating myself.
5. Listen to and learn from the wise people who have been where I am.
6. Change my habits and patterns to something healthier than picking up a drink.
7. Appreciate the wonderful things that I have in my life.
8. Understand that the only person I can control or change is me.
9. That I really do want more for me than drinking myself to death.
10. That the world does NOT revolve around me (though wouldn't be nice if it did? ).

The other really important thing I learned is that I should not have cut my bangs after only having a couple of days...LOL...took me 2 days to even them out! :bounce

You guys are the best!

:ghug

suki44883

Is No. 1 a secret? LOL

tommyk

Congrats on 14 days.

Well done, and well said.

flgirl

Yep...shhhhhhhhhhhhh....don't tell anybody!!! LOL

suki44883

Well, now my post just looks silly.

LOL!

ANGELINA243

Congrats on 2 weeks! Hooray! Keep up the good work! :ghug2

Daddio

WhooHoo!!!!!

I still have my early calendars with all the X's. You should frame yours.

I drank so much that the ice maker couldn't keep up with me. After a few days I would tell folks that I had extra ice for sale...

Got ice???

flgirl

Hi guys,

I think that I listed everything that I have been learning about because I have seen several people relapse here, and in the groups I have been attending and it scares me to death. I really think that if I were to relapse, that would be the end for me. I don't want to drink, but I am feeling the cravings a lot more than I did at first. That is also very scary to me, so I am trying very hard to just do what I have been told to do in order to stay sober. I hope nobody thinks that I am being Pollyannaish about what I am learning. I am having a really hard time doing everything I listed. I do know that doing those things will help me, but it's hard helping myself after so many years of not helping myself. Intellectually, I completely understand why I have to do them. Mentally and emotionally, I'm struggling. Not too sure I am making a whole lot of sense right now, but thanks for letting me share.

BrixtonBear

Congratulations on your 14 days! 8

The 10 points you listed in your post are really helpful - thank you for sharing these.

tommyk

You are making A LOT of sense, especially to those of us who have been where you are.

Talk about sobriety, rant about it, babble about it, run in circles around it. When you do that sobriety remains in the forefront of your mind, right where it needs to be.

Rob B

At 14 days (which is a fantastic start) you are not experiencing craving, craving only occurs when there is alcohol in the system. You are experiencing the mental obsession for a drink.

The Big Book mentions that our problem centers in the mind and that a psychic change is needed. The steps are AA's solution to bringing about this change. If you haven't started going through the steps yet, I would strongly encourage you to do so, if you are like me, your life may depend on it.

ROFL

Nice post FLGirl! Seeing others relapse is hard. It makes you think that it is inevitable for you too - but it is NOT. Just don't drink. It's so much easier to STAY off, than to STOP!

Trust me, I know.

lilbit

Hey flygirrrl...congrats on yer time SOBER! Rob is the Yoda of the Big Book. Not that I really know him...he won't be on my friend list due to his master said it wouldn't be a good idea....yada yada yada....but he's got a hot pic and it's kinda hard to ignore him...(smart marketing there Rob....)
Anyhow...cravings are a muthah! It takes around thirty days for the booze to really get out of yer system...depending on how much you enjoyed....in yer fat and all....so yer gonna have some WANTS...but listen to yer NEEDS.
Don't let this crappy disease OWN you....DEFINE you...yer not a drunk...just as human as they come....and I for one am glad you are on yer way to a new life...all day...just for today....one day at a time.
May the force be with you...and Rob.

CarolD

I am so tickled for you!!

Tazman53

LOL I had to laugh at that, I used to feel the same way, but somewhere along the line of working the steps, after I accepted the fact that the world did not revolve around me I became a part of the world which is awesome!

flgirl you are doing awesome, I know it does not seem like it right now, but I am seeing a difference in you!!!! I had folks tell me I was doing so much better long before I became aware I was doing better.

serenityqueen

I remember you asking me on, I believe it was your first day, how to "do this"

I think you've got all three.

You've been honest with us about how you're feeling as well as the struggles and mood swings.

You've admitted that you don't know everything, which for many of us is hard to face up to.

You've shown the willingness to go to any length, which is so vital to Recovery.

Just keep on doing what you're doing.



God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy

bigpun33

Congrats on day 14. Keep up the great work.

flgirl

Thanks guys,

I went to a meeting this morning and just listened. I think one of the biggest problems that I have is that I tend to over-intellectualize everything. I like empirical data. I like hard facts. Give me proof! And I am learning that there is no way that this is going to happen for me like that. I am going on blind faith here and it's scary for me.

In answer to Rob's remark- I am just starting to do the steps with my sponsor. Daddio, my ice maker is very confused these days...LOL...I got LOTS of ice now! Taz, thanks for telling me you see a difference...some days I do and some days I don't. Judy, thanks for reminding me that I asked for this and I need this! You are the best! And thanks to everyone for allowing me to "think outloud" here and letting me know that I'm not crazy!

:ghug

Tazman53

I operated on blind faith early on because other alcoholics told me how big a factor faith was in their sobriety and I had faith that they were being truthful.

Blind faith became faith because I started to get tremendous results as a result of blind faith.

My sponsor taught me that faith overcomes all fear I have in my head, he was right, I have overcome almost every fear I have due to faith in my HP and in the program.

Daddio

Hey Florida. Remember, I was still getting hangovers at 30 days from all of the surfacing of deep tissue booze. And according to one TV Doctor, you could be as many as 3 months sobering up. To completly rid your body of all that's lurking in there. Aren't we glad that we got meet alcohol.

Here's to no more lamp shades on the head!!!

I am very proud of you. My prayers of continued recovery are flooding your way.