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Friend just returned from rehab

Old 06-03-2008, 12:51 PM
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Friend just returned from rehab

I'm hoping I can get a little help or insite into this. I have been searching the web for help etc. I have a very close friend that spent 2 months in rehab for having a problem with alcohol. She returned home about a month ago. I'm trying to be supportive, but she has told me many times she thinks she can still drink a little bit here and there. I've also come to find out that she has been drinking a good amount of wine. She sees that as being different then say vodka. Everytime I see her she debates me on this and asks for a drink. I've told her I will not enable her. Her mother has told me that she has found empty bottles etc and she herself has told me she has had a couple of drinks while out by herself. I'm not sure how I should be handling this. I have/had alcoholic family members and friends that were drug addicts, but I've never had someone really test me and debate me this way. She also has a close friend that she surrounded herself with (it became a problem when he came into her life) that has told her AA is a cult. It just disgusts me that he would try to steer her away from the one thing that will help her. What should I be doing to help her? It's obvious to me and everyone around her that she should distant herself from this "friend", but she denies his envolvement.

THANKS for your help!!!
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Old 06-03-2008, 12:54 PM
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Unfortunately she might have to find her own 'bottom'.

Be there to support her if (when?) she falls.

Do things/activities with her that are fun and do not include alcohol.
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:16 PM
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There is little you can do until your friend accepts that alcohol cannot be a part of her life.

Have you considered AlAnon as a support for you?
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:17 PM
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no I haven't, I've heard of Alanon. Thanks I'll look into something in my area.
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:41 PM
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Welcome Rocky - You are being a good friend by not enabeling her. Stick to your guns !!!
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Old 06-03-2008, 02:00 PM
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Welcome and congratulations on recognizing that providing her with alcohol is enabling, that is powerful insight that some do not have.

As for your friend, I would avoid debating or even bringing it up. Until she is ready to quit, there is not much you can do to convince her otherwise. If you are looking for help for yourself in dealing with this situation, Al Anon is a great resource along with this web site.

I wish you the best, take care of yourself and hopefully your friend will come around at some point.
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Old 06-04-2008, 01:17 PM
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Thank you so much for all of your encouraging words...this forum has been great and very welcoming.
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Old 06-04-2008, 01:50 PM
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I have found those debates to be pointless

As they say in Al anon...
You did not cause it
You can not control it
You can not cure it.

Please go to our
Friends & Family of Alcoholics Forum.

Welcome...
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Old 06-04-2008, 03:37 PM
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Only your friend can quit drinking or not. I know this all too well. Just be there to support her and not enable her. That's about all you can do. Oh yes and pray for her. :praying
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Old 06-04-2008, 03:43 PM
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There is little you can do, your friend must be the one who decides she needs to fight for her life.

Having a little bit of booze is similar to a heroin addict having a little bit of heroin.

There are other recovery groups out there, Please check into The Alcoholism Message Board....check out the "sticky" .."Recovery Programs".

Although at this point I think she will use any excuse not to commit to any program.

Seren
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