supernothing

i drank last night least, but im not going to today, you are my inspiration, stay sober with me honey , just for today.

resentful wife

Least, I'm sorry that your putting yourself thru this but I know that you can get back to where you were and beyond. You have a very hard road ahead of you , but you can do this. First contact Social Services and apply for any help you can get. Have you applied for unemployment? Give it a shot too. Next contact as many area church's as it takes to raise enough money to pay your bills. Most have funds set aside for that purpose and it doesn't matter if your a member or not. Has your daughter lined up a job so she can help until she goes back to school? Also if you contact the ASPCA, Humane Society or even PETA they may be able to give you info for low cost or no cost help for your pets. And Least what you think you were suppose to be, no longer matters, who and what you are today and from this day forward is what is important. The past is past and done is done. Start becoming the person you want to be now. And God doesn't disown us, God Forgives and Forgets each and every time we ask, he wipes the slate clean and lets us start over. What we put on that slate is up to us. Stand tall and be proud of who you are and the hard work that you've done it can't be taken away from you. Good Luck.
Linda

supernothing

i can stop drinking least- like you can, but when things come to a head thats when i cant seem to not drink- if i had a perfect life with no stress or problems id find it easy never to drink again, but life isnt like that- somehow us alkies need to find OTHER coping mechanisms, why do we do it? it only ever serves to make things so much worse but we still live with the mentaility that somehow our stresses will be alleviated by a bottle of wine.
This is the madness of the disease- I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DRINK AS CLEARLY AS I KNOW LEFT FROM RIGHT- but somehow somewhere there is still that wicked little voice in me telling me to "chill out, open some wine, and relax"
I wish someone would actually FILM me the day after- im literally a gibbering wreck unable to function, in floods of tears and on the floor in a pool of shame.
that first drink takes away 48 hours of my life- it will literally take me that long to even face going outside again after ive picked up, even if ive had a small amount and only for one night.
I see how many problems you have to face and i feel your pain, i was just starting to get perspective on my own set of messes before that little addictive voice started whispering in my ear.
I tried to resolve things with my partner and it just went full circle ending with me apologising and promising to try harder- alcohol makes me so weak and dependant.
I dont want to hijak your post with all of "my" issues, and i cant offer you any advice, i can TELL you there are other ways of dealing with stress , but i would be nothing but a hypocrite because this past week i have been unable to utilise them.
What i can offer you is my thoughts and prayers and the knowlegde that you are not alone going through this- we have BOTH said in the past that we would NEVER pick up again- and im sure we both meaned it at the time, but here we are once again- that is addiction though NOT you and i, you are a good person with a lot to offer- and i know i can BE a good person once again and also a sober one.
PLEASE Stop pounding yourself with so much self loathing- live in the moment for the moment- let it all go and focus on what you can do NOW to move on
If you need a friend today i am here, please pm me.
:ghug3

Honu

Honey, I'm so sorry you're hurting. God does not disown his children. He is still there, just waiting for you to notice Him. You keep putting your focus on the cat, the vet, your daughter, your dog, and He's right there, saying, "Hey, there! I'm right here! I can handle your problems!" You need to look UP.

I am a pity party queen, IMHO, and I know where that pity party ALWAYS takes me. You need to get out of that mode, and put your focus elsewhere.

Did you ever get that book I told you about? I still think you would enjoy it.

We're all here for ya! Dust yourself off and get going! And, stop digging yourself into your pit. OK???

Love, Honu